My Journalism1

Today is the second day of our final examination session! Two more subjects to go before we can proudly declare to the world that we have graduated! Nonetheless, at the same time, it's the time for us to say goodbye to each other. Sometimes, it is really hard to leave one another after three years of studying in the same class. Yes, I may not be able to have fun with all of you all the while. But, frankly speaking, deep inside my heart, each and everyone of you are somewhat important. You all have coloured up my days in UTAR!

SiewLing:Do you know that you are a very kind and sweet girl? I love the way you talk and the way you work and the way you smile. :-) I wasn't able to get to know you deeply but I know that you are kind, sweet, diligent and considerate! Keep it up ya! You can have great achievement somedays!

Annie:Even though we had our internship under the same company for three months but it is still pretty hard to really get close to you. Anyway, you are talented and I am sure you can be somebody in the future. Gambateh!

LiYee:You are the 'Astro' girl in our class! Yeah! You can sing, you can dance, you are cute and you are pretty! When is it possible for me to see you on stage again? I enjoy the moment we had our small conversation in LRT! :P When can we have that kind of hours again?

ChunYet:Yo! What's up man? You are our classrep but I have never seen you really act like one! Anyway, all of us would be bored without you. I am really glad that I had the chance to get to know you better in times of industrial training.Thanks for your kindness and help. Sometimes, I am thinking, it is really nice to know you. Thanks, my pal!

Rachel: Gusty girl! :) I enjoy the moments we spent in cyberspace. We had fun in gossiping about others! Even though our conversation took place virtually but I think that those virtuality experiences allowed me to know you better! You are a good friend to talk to and I will miss you!

Tasha:You are definitely a sweet and lovely girl! I have never met anyone who is as friendly as you do in my entire life. That's a good thing. The thing that I know about you is that you may be not that hardworking but you are wise and you will always make sure that you have fulfiled your responsibilities under whatever circumtances! I love that! Thanks for your kindness and help ya!

ChauYen:I wouldn't use those conventional adjectives like 'helpful' or 'easy-going' to describe you. I will say that you are a 'Devoted' friend! You have dedicated your entire life to your friends and tend to take care of them carefully, especially 'The special One'. :p hehe.I just want to tell you that your charming characteristic is a gift from God, so does your gorgeous figure! Treasure them!

Laiyee:You are a very polite and softspoken girl. You has been giving others a kind of impression that you are very 'fragile' and the wind seem like can blow you away very easily. Girl, you are too skinny! Gain more weight by eating more! I like the way you are and I am sure that you will be part of my important memories, even after 30 or 40 years later. :)

Kenjo:You keep a very nice blog and I enjoy reading them. You are truly a writer and have your own style in writing. Even though your eyes are small and you are quiet but I find that you are an inquisitive girl who is never going to let the world passed by you. You are observant and appears like a lovely next-door-girl. I like you.

Nelly:Yeah! Girl, You have a great leadership and I really admire the way you talk and the way you look. You are always confident and tend to exude your charm in a very subtle manner. You make me feel that you are someone who can really lead a big organization! Yeah! Keep it up ya!

WanYing:Wow! You. There isn't much I am going to write to you here since I have dedicated a post to you! Just want to tell you that no matter how, you will be in my heart! Muaks!

SuJin:Your big friendly smile captivated my heart. I love the way you laugh and bring us joys. :) You are truly amazing as you can have a fun and interesting conversation with the people whom you barely know. We all have fun talking to you! My friend, stay happy ya!

Fayes: Here comes the superstar of our class. Yo! I like the way you sing. Yeah, guy, you can melt many girls' hearts very easily! You are good looking and gifted with a stunning talent in singing but yet stil able to act humble and showing a moderate estimation of your abilities. That's really a precious value! Jr1 really proud of you! We are waiting for your album ya!

HuiWen: This is the utmost stunning and lovely girl in our class. She is our 'class flower' or maybe the cutest girl in UTAR! She could 'kill' guys very easily with her sweet outlook, adding on her irresistible smiles, even a girl would feel like kissing her whenener she talks to you seriously. Besides, she has the kindest heart which I have ever seen in my life. That's why, HuiWen, nice to know you and thanks for eveything you have done for me! Love you!

KitFye: KitFye is kinda serious and she seldom mix with a large group of people, neither does she laugh hysterically nor does she talks rubbish with her friends. She is a girl who is havign her own principles and would try her very best to fulfil her duties! I have a good time workign to gether with her! Cheers, my dear friend!

KhaiShin: She is an awesome girl. :) She has a very sweet voice, which resembles to a sweet melody that will linger in your mind for hours after hearing her giving speech! She is that kind of sweet and happy angel in our class and I have been knowing her for four years! We were kinda close at first but then due to the mixing of other groups of friends, we have some distances in between. However, we are still friends. It's a kind of friendship, which we keeps in our heart, when we want to use it, you will pass it to me right? :P

YehFang: LengLui! This girl forces all the people around her to call her beauty as she feels that it is a universal fact that she is pretty. In reality, she is really beautiful.:) She is hardworking, and tend to give other pressure when working with her! Anyway, it is a good practice as the assignments would hand in on time! yeah! Leng, THanks for your help ya! You are truly an angel! :P Friend forever ya!

Kathy: Kathy is a very quiet and introverted girl in our class. She tends to isolated herself with others, living in her own little fantasy world! But, once you try to start a conversation with her, you would know that she is kind, helpfull and compassionate. She will show you a very sweet smiles when you are talking to her and I find beauty in it! Maybe we are not close, but you are still a sweet friend, whom I will remember for life!

Broken Vow

(photo taken from http://members.aol.com)

She told me that, 'He is neither a good husband nor a qualified father. If he is having someone else as his wife, she would ran away from him, twenty years ago...'

Ya, I know that you are a truly devoted mother and I love you dearly from the bottom of my heart. I am willing to sacrifice my life for you and do whatever I could to make you happy. But, please don't complaint to me about him again. My heart is bleeding when I see you working day and night to support the family. You are the greatest mother in this world and none of them would be able to sacrifice as much as you do for your beloved children. Nonetheless, he is still my dad.

I am reasonable enough to know the real situation, I know you need someone to lend you ears, I can be the one...But, please, I don't want to hear anything about him again. You have dedicated your life to us ENTIRELY and since you decided to not taking another approach, please don't say anyting like that again. In fact, I would be glad if you divorce him, twenty or thirthy years ago. I swear, I will never blame you for that, even if you dumped brother and I away. At least, things would be simpler and you can fight for your own will. The horrible marriage you have, has been haunting me so much...Sometimes, I feel so helpless and I couldn't even cry...

Mummy, I want you to be happy, please, for yourself, not anyone else.You deserve better. The fact is, he is my dad. He is a great failure but I am sure he loves me... Don't cut my heart with endless complaints and quarells. I beg you...

He told me that, ' You are capable, you are a superwoman, keep it up...' More of a sarcastic sentence rather than anything else...'

I wasn't able to talk to you as I was not in a cheerful mood and I was really having a lot to study and revise. I am not indicating something like you are inconsiderate or what as I myself are having tonnes of weak points that are disagreeable. However, your cynical implication made me sad, really really sad. Maybe I should say someting like 'Sorry' for everthing.

Nevertheless, when your special one is being sarcastic and ruthless...There should be an end, right?

Photoshop

Tasha is very proud of her 'professional' skill in 'Photoshop'.She tends to tell the whole world about it by forcing them to see her latest 'product' in her blog. hehehe. Actually, she is not the greatest 'Photoshop' expert, but she is really a good one! :p I have to give her my salutation. Wow, Tasha, you are really great and free. You got nothing better to do in your free time meh! :p hahah..She is willing to spend hours to master the software and sharpen up her skill.(*Myles is thinking of taking her hat off to Tasha for her hardwork, But then, she realises that she doesn't wear a hat on top! :P)

Seriously, the photoes constructed by Tasha via 'Photoshop' are truly amazing, that's the striking power of the software! Yeah! This reminds me of my own experience with the mentioned software and the 'unique' instructor who taught me to use it! hehe. He just got married, wow! Should we say something like 'congratulation'? :p hahah! He is a fantastic lecturer. I fell in love with 'Photoshop' due to his teaching.

At here I would like to show you all one of my the print advertisements that were completed by using the software for my 'multimedia tools for advertising' in Year 2. Of course, if compare to Tasha, mine is really stupid. But, that's the way of learning mah! We got to start at the very first step mah! WIhtout learning how to walk, it is impossible for us to fly, right? Tasha?! :P

My group decided to create our own 'Pet Hotel' advertising campaign that was name 'Chubby Tubby Mummy'. We browsed through thousands of pictures related to animals and then cut and paste them in a backgroud we created ourselves. Then, we got to mend the outlines, drew the shadows, adjusted the contrast colors, combined the small little creatures and many other silly jobs. For the assignments, we came out with 4 versions of the advertisements. Lampfly and I spent most of our hours that time in the 'Mac Lab'. We tried our best to master the basic tools and produced the best advertisements as these stupid little things carried great coursework marks in that semester. Finally, that's our outcome. If compare to Tasha's, ours are nothing. :) But, it is actually sweet to recollect the times Lampfly and I spent in the lab. :) Maybe it's time of separation, so I am a bit emotional. Each and every little thing I had with my friends is able to inspire me to write out something... They are my memories and memories are sweet, aren't they?

The saddest thing is, I am not able to produce the advertisement above right now. I forgot about the way of using those simple tools correctly...Nonetheless, the times I had with my friend would turn into an unforgettable piece of diamond that I will keep it eternally in my heart. :P

Hours of waiting!

I hate waiting for people. I wish I could leave now...the problem is, the one I am waiting for is not my friend. He is someone important, whom I have been counting on to pull up my 'performance' a bit, yes, just a bit...

I am sorry for accidentally offended him last night. I am here to say' Sorry'. Actually, it wasn't my fault totally, but I have to bear some responsibilities. Anyway, since he is angry with me I guess I have to apolozise for that... But, I have been waiting for hours, I should be staying home and study...Gosh! I am wasting my time here! What to do? That's the price I have to pay for offending someone Important accidentally! Anyhow, I am not the one who is to be blamed entirely!

The position he has is everything. I got to wait. I think he doesn't want to meet me. But, I will make sure I talk to him today, or else, my hours spending here would be wasted! Besides, I guess my effort spend in that stupid thing is the main. I don't want him to discredit me due to the misunderstanding we had yesterday!

God! Spare a little more time on me!

Full Stop.

Based on the explanation of www.dictionary.com, Full Stop is a "punctuation mark (.) placed at the end of a declarative sentence to indicate a full stop or after abbreviations" or "A period indicating the end of a sentence".

Besides that, I think a symbol like Full Stop, is able to act more than a common punctuation mark in different fractions of our life. We are graduating, maybe a 'Full Stop' can be used to mark the end of our friendships. Well, basically, in this case, I prefer a Comma(,) than a Full Stop(.). A true friendship shouldn't be influenced by those stupid unavoidable external factors like: discordance, separation, arguments and so on. Maybe, I am too ideal in that aspect but I think that's the way it should be. :p

In terms of some other relationships, sometimes, a Period can be a panecia for your problems...

There should be a 'Full Stop' when:

1. He calls you once in a blue moon.

2. He wouldn't care if you are down or blue.

3. There isn't any heart-to-heart talk between you two.

4. He thinks of something else when you need a big warm hug.

5. He tends to challenge your limit of dignity.

6. He just lets things over too easily.

7. There isn't a chance for you to share your happy or sad moments with him.

8. He is not updated with your current doings.

9. He put you aside when you are angry and deeply in hurt.

10. He blames you for something you have never committed.

11. He barely have time to accompany you for a good movie.

12. He doesn't know what is in your mind.

13. He lets off the opportunities to know you better.

14. He claimed that you are a hard nut to crack and refuse to understand your complicated heart.

15. He feels that you never miss him and never spend effort to find out 'WHY'.

16. When you are in the spirit to chat with him, his calling cards are always out of credit.

17. He wouldn't spare his time to cheer you up sincerely or dedicated himself for the activities you enjoy to do.

18. He always tells you that he has been 'sacrificing' his precious time for you and asked you to do something in return for his kindness.

19. When you feel that the relationship has been turning into some unpredictable lies.

20. When you couldn't remember the times you shed down tears and gave out smiles for him.

......

Is it a 'must' for ROMANCE to exist in a relationship, so that it will survive?

Well, not necessary. However, you must be devoted enough to develop a long-lasting relationship, without counting on 'HOW MUCH' you have been given and 'HOW MUCH' you want in return.

Hard, isn't it? yeah.. then perhaps, it's the time for you to pen a 'FULL STOP'...

Dear Chloe!

Dear Chloe,

Wow, so fast ya. How the time flies. :P Friend, we are going to graduate. Are you going to say something like 'Hurray'? Well, for me, I am not sure. I am happy that there isn't a need for me to study like hell anymore, neither do I have to worry about the marks of assignments and thesis nor do I have to worry about having replacement classes or anything of that sort.. But one thing I am sure is that, I am going to miss you, I am going to miss my classmates, UTAR and everything...

Among our circle of friends, you are the only one who can read me like abook. We have been staying under one roof for years and we did have our precious time in KTAR. We had tonnes of movies together and we even had a lot of fun chatting and teasing others. Waw...we have a lot of memories... those moments we shared, would carve an everlasting mark in my heart. :)

Actually, I am sorry that I am a hard nut to crack. People find me unfriendly, proud, stubborn, persistent and sometimes cold. Yes, I don't know why, that;s my nature, pretty hard to get along. But I guess I am blessed as there is someone like you who would spare time to understand me. :) thanks, my pal. There are too many times you made me touched but I didn't say anything. Sometimes, some things are better to be placed inside the heart rather than sayign them out fakely, right? :P yeah! I just I am a still a sincere and easy-going friend, for you?? Hope so!

Hey, you got to brace up yourself to face the challenges outside, ok? Time and tides wait for no men. When you have enough talents to be a winner, never tend to think like a loser, ok? No matter how, I will support you whenever I am in the future, hopefullythe distance between us wouldn't be too far! :P You must try your best in everything ya, my friend. :) you could have meritorious achievement, if you allow yourself to have a try!

I don't know why, but I just feel warm whenever I thought of the tissues you passed to me when we had the movie- 'King Kong' together. haha. At the time, I cried too much and I had to cover my mouth so that I wouldn't let out some horrible sobbing sound that are going to interupt others. :P hahah.. I am really thankful for having a friend to hand me a piece of tissue when I am sad. :) Yes, a symbol of friendship, even a very simple gesture can be very meaningful and remarkable. :)

Regardless of what is awaiting us in the future. Remember, be happy and be positive. :)

Take care ya...

Have me as part of your memories, ok?

MUAKS!

Dear Protocol!

Dear Protocol,

Hi, My dear friend. We are going to separate and go our own ways for our future. Within one month, we are going to say goodbye to each other... It is really hard for me to say so. We have beenknowing each other for 4 years. Sometimes, I guess it is pretty hard for me to explain our friendship to others. I guess it is a kind of 'destiny' for us to be good friend.

I would like to thank you for everything. Thanks for giving me rides during the times of showery or buring hot seasons. Thanks for accompanying me to shop for things, watching boring independent movie like 'Mean Creak', listening to my troubles and stupid opinions.

You know what? I guess you are correct in some senses. It is really hard for us to get true friend nowadays. In the process of growing up, we tend to change or even forced to undergo a total transformation, both mentally and physically. Like what I said, try to turn back and look at your high school pals, how many of them have changed? Some of them turned into a total stranger, whom you couldn't remember you used to be their best friend. I am really glad that you offer me a chance to be your friend. :) No worries, my friend, you are not going to turn into a cow, bull, horses or anything like that in your next life to return my kindness.. hahaha.. I guess you will be my life partner in your next life (coz you said a couple would get together normally is because of owing each other debts mah!! :p ) Joke lah. Impossible, my dear Protocol. I have been trying to fulfil my part as a friend. You never owe me anything, 'That's what friends are for!" Always remember that...

No matter how the time changes, you got to remember that I just want you to be happy and free. As happy as a little girl who has no worries in mind and as free as a bird, which is able to fly high. Chase away your sadness, no need to torture yourself for something or someone that is TOTALLY and COMPLETELY not suitable for you but brought you a huge pail of tears. Next time, when you are crying, my friend, always remember that your tears are meant for yourself, not anyone else. You cry only because you feel like relieving your agony, that's all! And, the utmost important thing is that there will always be someone, like your dearest mother and a stupid friend like me to stand by you. Ya, I don't mind you giving me a misscall to ask me calling back. hehehe.. even though it is quite expensive :). hahha However, I think it should be a kind of honor for me to lend me your ears. YES, years later, after you got yourself a nice job and wonderful family, you wouldn't even remember my name! yeah! :P so, I guess I have to treasure it! :P

At the moment, from the bottom of my heart, sincerely, I want to wish you ALL the best. Protocol, I want you to smile and laugh like crazy, ya, I just want you to be happy, nonetheless, please bear in mind, when you are down or feeling blue, I many not be the one to hug you or solve your problems (soemtimes I just couldn't reach you! :p) but, I will definitely be the one to listen to you. You will NEVER be lonely, as long as I am still alive! yeah!

Protocol, get a good job and good husband ya! :P

Remember me forever!

MUAKSS!!

Brokeback Mountain

(photo taken from: http://www.wjzone.com)

Oh, I guess it is pretty late for me to talk about the Oscar movie like ‘Brokeback Mountain’. (Chloe and Tasha had their film reviews weeks ago and yet I am only ‘going’ to talk about it right now. :P)

Nope, it’s ok, as I am not here to make comments about the award-wining film. I love watching movies, especially when the contents are related to some controversial issues or the films are not covered with thick commercializing values. In this case, I love ‘Brokeback Mountain’. I love it from the bottom of my heart, not merely because of the hot characters in the picture or the debatable story line. The meaning captivates me, yes, the hidden agenda behind the film is a bravo message that touches my heart, even at the moment I am typing this post…

In one of the interviews from presses, Ang Lee noted that, "I am not making a homosexual movie. It is actually a film with a meaning for everyone. Everyone has one ‘Brokeback Mountain’ deep inside his or her heart. But, none of us really dare to climb up the mountain, explore the scenery and new experiences…until someday, when we are thinking of discovering the untouched mountain, we might miss out something…" (I translated his words based on my memory, so forgive me if I interpret it wrongly in some senses, sorry ya!)

Like what I have told Tasha, I couldn’t smile for few days after watching the movie as the story lingers in my mind. In the movie, Jack blamed Ennis for not trying to build a new life with him so both of them were left with Brokeback Mountain, the only space that was truly belonged to them.

Isn’t it true? If Ennis accepted the offer of Jack earlier, Jack might not be beaten to death. However, some of you might argued that the same thing will happen even they have their stay together because the society at that period of time did not allow the existence of homosexual. Aha, you must be like Ennis for having a thought like this. Ennis refused to try as the scene of a gay being killed brutally haunted him. Ennis’s father was the blood-curdling killer, who didn’t have guilt when taking his two sons to see the mutated corpse. Due to the passed experiences or the similar cases that took place around us, we tend to have shadows and taking a simple route in search of solutions – ‘ESCAPE’ like a coward.

Without guts, we won’t be able to climb the mountain, as we are worrying if we will fall, we will get hurt and whether we will die. Many people have no balls to fight for one self, taking the easy way to remain at the current statues quo, which seems to be the safest and tolerable within a conventional social context. Since the result is unpredictable and filled with uncertainties, Ennis could have doubled up his stake, staying with Jack like couples, true couples, under a ‘real’ roof that are meant for them. Even if they were still going to die, at least, well, at least they would have the memories, of leading the life like normal passionate lovers openly. Maybe it would be a better ending than smelling at the deceased’s shirt and shedding down tears hopelessly.

My friend, Lampfly cannot accept the story. For an extremist like her, homosexual is something sinful and disgusting. She claimed to be disturbed by the love story of two guys in Brokeback Mountain. :p hahha, it’s ok, some people just couldn’t take spicy food. That’s fine.

Chloe and Tasha love the movie, as much as I do (?? Maybe!! :P), I suppose. I loved the story very much and I was wondering if I am having a Brokeback Mountain in my heart, like what I asked Chloe after watching the film,

“Maybe I have one Brokeback Mountain in my heart, like Jack and Ennis, so I could feel a certain connection that touched my heart completely…”

She startled and then laughed like crazy. Obviously, no answer from her…

Haha, no worries, my friends, I am definitely not a lesbian. I love ogling at hot guys more than anything else. :p hehe… I am perfectly normal. Nevertheless, I guess I have something in my heart, which makes me inclusively into the story of the two cowboys…

Jack told Ennis at their last meeting in the mountain, "you know what? Sometimes I miss you so much and I cannot stand on it…”

That’s a famous quote in the movie. I guess I know his feeling when the words uttered from his mouth. His affection and emotion displayed are nothing more than helplessness and despair. He was trying to float on the sea, but he failed and drowned…

I understand his sentiment; completely… it’s like catching vapor with your palms. You knew it and you could feel it but others don’t and they wouldn’t agree or believe that you have caught something. Finally, you started to doubt yourself, due to their judgments and suspicions…

Brokeback Mountain- It speaks to my heart…

Lost

How is it feels like when you are losing something? I had that kind of experience before. When I was just a kid, I lost my favourite white teddy bear. I misplaced it somewhere when I last played it with my cousins.

At the moment I couldn't get it and held her in my arms, I was anxious, nervous and in turmoil. I ransacked the entire areas within my home; pestering my mum by asking her where was my bear, over and over again, until she yelled at me loudly and threatening to spank me. To me, the bear was my precious baby, when I lost it, I felt like my entire heart became empty. I couldn't cry, I lost myself in my own mind. Deep inside my heart, I could hear my myself crying badly for my little baby. I was in agony and went silent for days. Anyway, I looked calm, just found it hard to have an ease of mind in whatever I was doing.

Finally, weeks after weeks, I covered the sadness in my heart as there was nothing I could do. I had my smiles back. However, I stopped touching my other toys since then, refusing to talk or discuss anything regarding the teddy bears with my small friends or cousins.

One particular day, when my mother was cleaning up her room, she found my bear. He lied under the closet, quietly, displaying no emotion when I got him in my warm embrace. At the moment I touched him in my finger toes, I burst into tears. I cried and cried and cried, until my mum had to coax me with candies.

Sometimes, when you are totally hopeless about something, couldn't even see a glimmer of light, which means that your heart is having its dead end. Nonetheless, rememeber that some miracle might happen. When you are having that kind of surprise out of the blue, I guarantee you, you will be filling with emotions, You couldn't speak properly and your heart would split into two, rising into the sky with their invisible wings.

Your worries all gone in once. Relieving, you would feel like you are getting lighter, as the big stone that was pressing your psyche is wearing off.

Yes, the tears would drop as there isn't any distressful emotion, which you intend to hide.

You are emotionally and spiritually revived or regenerated.

Great, isn't it?!

Aging!

One sunny day, Chloe and I had lunch at the worst eatery in Section 14. The weather was burning hot; the sun was radiating warmth, which killed majority of the humans at the hawker center, mentally, I mean. :p The evil sun light forbade others to stand still and I couldn’t help but imagined myself soaking in a big pool of ice cubes…

After ordering her fried ‘Kuey Tiaw’, silently, Chloe sat in front of me. None of us had the ‘spirit’ in chatting. We were badly ‘burnt’ by the miserably hot weather. We were thinking of scrambling for the food with our big mouths and then shoot off.

Suddenly, Chloe stared at her right side firmly. At first, I ignored it; I thought she was ogling at a group of hot guys. However, after one minute, she was still looking fixedly at the same direction. Naturally, I found it weird and moved my eyesight to her right.

Nope, there weren’t any striking man with well-build muscles. “Could it be several sexy chicks who dressed to kill?” (This thought definitely plays in your mind right now because both beautiful and sexually attractive males and females would attract attentions! :*P) But, hell, no! It was a group of middle-aged working ladies who had their bites during the lunch hours at that messy eatery.

Scratching my head, I asked, “ Hey, what are you looking at? What’s so special about them?”

Chloe, "Chia, I am scared. Within ten years times, we are going to look like them. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to wear thick make-up to hide my wrinkles, neither do I going to wear those flowery long skirts nor carrying ‘auntie-like’ handbag! What to do, what to do?” Chloe stated, with her vacant eyes, searching for some consolations from my pale face…

Having another glance at those ladies, I was panicked. I imagined myself dressing up like them, wearing thick make-up, which turned my face into that type of zombie’s complexion, but still, there are cracks all over the corner of my eyes, lips and forehead due to the spreading of unfixable wrinkles … Hell, I don’t want that to happen to me, I will never dress up like an auntie, NEVER EVER! Sadly, the truth is even if we wear like a teenager, we are still getting older. This is a fact, we are getting older, day after day, years after years…

Remember the time when you were only 15 or 16? Who cares about aging? We had plenty of youthful years for us to waste, we were so naïve and proud of our age and felt like we could grab everything with our smooth and soft palms…but, now, I am 21 years old and I start to worry about Newton’s theory of gravity, so much, until the grudges toward apples getting deeper and deeper. Aren’t you afraid of it? My friend Protocol does.

Two years ago, once, Protocol gave me a ride to school. She was listening to mix.fm in that ideal morning. The song being played at that time was Avil Lavigne’s-‘Complicated’.

Protocol asked, “ Eh, what song is that har? It sounds nice, who is the singer?”

I replied, “ Avil Lavigne. She is the hottest female rock star at this moment in America. She is only 16, even younger than us!”

Out of the blue, Protocol turned completely insane. With her hands holding the steering, her eyes opened wide, glancing me with her stark bewildered gaze, which is filled with bloody red veins and helplessness. She yelled her entire heart out into the air.

“Chia, what are we supposed to do? Once upon a time, everyone was older than us, now what I have been hearing is that this girl and that girl is younger than us, HOW, HOW! HOW!”

I was frightened. I was worried that if she was going to pull out the entire steering as she was grabbing it with her whole inner strength. My life was in her hands. Luckily, she was comforted by my sweet and white lies.

“Nope, you are still young and pretty. Be obedient har! Nothing actually, this Lavigne girl is younger than us, but it’s all about the age. You know lah, those Caucasians all look much older than their real ages. We are still younger. No worries. Now, be good girl, drive gingerly ya…”

Finally, I was able to coax her and calmed her down with my angelic sweet words and smiles. That incident took place two years ago, when we were only 19 but aging had been our greatest enemy since then… in fact, I have constructed a picture in my mind of what I am going to look like in the coming ten, twenty or even thirty years. I would like to share it with you all:

What is your feeling after looking at the above pictures? The first is my own picture, which I took months ago whereas the rest I collected them from members.cruzio.com, http://www.mgwis.com/, and http://www.sorrellmcintyre.com/. Those aging pictures might not really resemble my outlook but these are the samples of my steps in aging. Scary, isn’t it? Yes, before constructing the photos, I thought I will go berserk after getting the entire image but I didn’t, fortunately.

I admitted that I was down after putting myself into that big picture of aging process. None of the humans in this world will be willing to have ugly old face, loose and dry skins, wrinkles, white and thin hair, damaged body figure and weak cognitive abilities. Nonetheless, who could stop themselves from that? We can never escape from the curse of losing our youth, so, let’s face it naturally.

Let’s make it this way, without the aging process, we wouldn’t gain experiences and wouldn’t have a wide and varied world views and we will never realize the joy of young age… hahah…sort of like comforting one self, I guess this is the only way to ease my pain. :p Hey, you! Don’t laugh at me. Are you getting more and more reluctant in admitting that you are turning one year older before the exact day of your birthday? Even if it is 11.59 pm, you would still regard yourself not getting any year older. At last, the clock’s ticks bring you to another brand new day; you fall into another age range. Finally, you are frustrated, grieving and shrieking curses to the heaven! :p I know you have been doing that, admit it lah!! :p

The Hardest Thing

The hardest thing in this world is to communicate with another mankind.

Don't you think so?

Here, I am not talking about those amiabilities or random conversations with those, whom we barely know. I am refering to those who are close to you, like your friends, your family members, your greatest pals... I used to hate people who are hypocritical, I detest the way they interact with others, I was sicked of their fake kindness and smiles...However, if you really consider it from another aspect, isn't it a better way to maintain a general type of relationship with others? Sometimes, keeping a distance is the panecea for every relationships problems...

When you really care about a particular person, you tend to take him or her words seriously, the problem here is that the particular mankind would dissapoint you in someway. This is not a kind of generalization. The chances are there, nobody can run away from it.

Meanwhile, if you really care about a person, deep inside your heart, his or her simple gestures, responses, attitude can mean a lot to you. That's owing to my own experience, maybe it is due to my sensitivity, but I really take things very seriously, only if the particular person I am interacting with is special to me. That's why, I could even get hurt through those non-verbal communication. Nonetheless, I will never show it! No worries for that. I won't do something that will spolit my image. :P

One of my pals once noted that,

"You always treat others nicely. Sometimes far beyond the way it should be. It is not really good because others would turn to rely on you for everything and they wouldn't cherish it! Ya, take things for granted! And, the utmost stupid thing is that you never expect anything from your friends when you are deep down in troubles..."

"In the contrast, you bear high-expectation for your own performances in almost every aspects! Come on, I know that you are truly a perfectionist and individualist, but not everything in life can be perfect... Don't care about others and don't take things too seriously. Sometimes, you have to live up your life for yourself, rather than others..."

My dear pal, thanks for your advice. In the circle of relationship, be it within couple or friends, I have not much expectations...Even if it is a one-way street, I resigned my life to lot. By the way, I am not treating everyone equally good, I guess there is someone, who is really unique but I tend to screw up the relationship and keeping our hearts, further away, like falling apart in two different planets. I don't mean it...But, sometimes, I think this is due to the frames we set on each other. We tend to 'frame' each other in an intended way so once we accidentally step out from the lines, we bear grudges toward each others. There are too many times, we keep the problems in the dark, pretending that there isn't anything 'serious'. This leads to the growing of thorns, which prick my heart, sometimes...

My dear pal, things are easier to be said than done. My life doesn't belong to me. It is not mine. I owe my mother damn a lot of 'debts', which I could never ever return in my entire life... perhaps, I will be freed, after getting this degree. I would strive something for myself, pursue my very own dream...

Yeah.. as free as a bee or bird? Well, whatever!

No matter how, life is still going on. Let's cheers for tomorrow.

Valentine's Wishes...

Kisses

Kisses has been called—

The Balm of Love…
Two lips meet, you’re in heaven above
They’re Cupid’s Seal…
As lovers make a deal
The Feet of Parting…
A payment in full of loving
The Homage of The Lips…
For lovers who never weeps
Lover’s Chief Sign…
Between you and me
Love’s Language…
That leads to marriage
The Seal of Bliss…
Which we will always cherish…

(Written by: Unknown)

Yeah! Another poem from ‘Poetry Page’, my aunt didn’t jot down the author’s name so I couldn’t attribute the source. I am sure that he or she is a Malaysian. Hey, unknown, ‘lend’ me your verse for a while, ya. I want to dedicate it to my friends and those whom I barely know but still spare their time to have a look at my blog whenever they are free!

Guys and gals, Happy Valentine’s Day!

May you all have an astonishing merriment and gain tonnes of sweet kisses from your beloved ones! :p

EnJoY!!!

Two Timer

How Can I Tell Her
(Lobo)

She knows when I'm lonesome, she cries when I'm sad.
She's up in the good times, she's down in the bad.
And whenever I'm discouraged, she knows just what to do.
But girl, she doesn't know about you.

I can tell her troubles, she makes them all seem right.
I can make up excuses, not to hold her at night.
We can talk of tomorrow, I'll tell her things I want to do.
But girl, how can I tell her about you?

How can I tell her about you?Girl, please tell me what to do.
Everything seems right, whenever I'm with you.
So girl, won't you tell me, how to tell her about you.

How can I tell her I don't miss her, whenever I'm away?
How can I say it's you I think of, every single night and day?
And when is it easy, telling someone we're through?
Ah girl, help me tell her about you.

How can I tell her about you?Girl, please tell me what to do.
Everything seems right, whenever I'm with you.
So girl, won't you tell me, how to tell her about you...

At the very first time I listened to this song, I was touched, deeply touched...

I couldn't help but enchanted by the lyrics. Those simple words, conveying too much about the inner conflict a person would bear after falling in love with someone else besides him or her lover. Maybe I am the only one who would feel it this way but I really couldn't brace up myself to hate the guy in the lyrics. Lobo reveals the sorrow and agony of being a two timer...

This reminds me of my previous conversation with Chloe...It was just a random chat session but Chloe told me that actually we couldn't hold our fingers at the third party or the two timers whenever a particular realtionship goes wrong.

She noted that," Let's forget about those who love foolling around or enjoy changing their partners after knowing a more attractive one. We are now talking about a guy or a woman who truly commited in a serious realtionship with his or her lover. At the moments they love you, they really do. However, if the couples are not fated to be together, definitely they would meet soemone else. There's is no right and wrong in love... If the emotion of love is gone, that's the end of a relationship... It is really unwise to point our fingers at the other party. As a matter of fact, he or she is actually the one who suffers the most due to gulit and regrets..."

Frankly speaking, I was really surprised when I heard her sentences. It is actually something we got to ponder, isn't it? The statement above may not sound convincing to certain people who are not that open-minded enough, but you can never deny certain facts and truths hidden inside. Just try to consider it from a wider perspective...

You will gain something from Lobo's 'How can I tell her'... espcially when you listen to it... The sweetness of the voice and the 'grief' of the melody certainly would touch your nerve, with the condition that you are not an extremist in love...

cheers.

:*>

The Poem

I’m thinking…

I’m thinking of you right now…
Wondering when and why and how.
The wind will bring the rain
The sun will harvest the rice grain
And fate will bring us back again.

I’m thinking of you as one person
Who makes my heart so painful
My life so lonesome…
By solely passing words of love, joy and hope
But never meaning them
Thus bringing to my heart
Only hate, agony and despair…

I’m thinking of moments you touched my lips
Those moments…I cried myself to sleep.
Why must you be so out of hand?
I’m thinking and thinking…
Will this doubt of mine come to an end?
Will the hope of seeing you again
Lost forever like the innumerable sand?

(Writer: Florence Ng)

Obviously, I am not the writer of the above poem. Come on, I am not a very poetic person, even though I do enjoy reading some of them. :P By the way, don’t ask me who is that Florence girl (maybe not that appropriate to address her as a ‘girl’ right now: p). I don’t know her at all. In fact, the poem is one of my aunt’s collections when she was in her teenage years!

Yes, it is a kind of ‘historical’ verse as my aunt cut them from newspapers or magazines and pasted them in a thick book when she was in her 16 or 17. Yes, it all took place in 1970’s; while she was in her youthful golden age…The old book is decorated with beautiful pictures and a teenage girl’s naïve but romantic remarks… How times flies… she is approaching her 45 years old at the coming year. The pages in the book have turned into yellow colour papers; they are not excluded from the process of aging and growing, too. Though, when my aunt passed me her precious book which entitled ‘Poetry Page’ since she knew that I love verse-reading about eight years ago, I realised that she actually handed her priceless reminiscences to me. Perhaps, I was a teenager, seeing me growing reminding her of her young and insouciance moments…

I am sure that everyone has gone through an enormous transformation both mentally and physically during their teenage years. Many people regard adolescence as a difficult painful phase. This can be proven through the movie I watched two days ago, ‘Mean Creek’ ( it’s an independent movie, I guess that very few people on this earth would spare their time and money to watch this category of film :*# ) The story centred at six teenagers who are rebellion, and in anger due to their uncertainties at that moment in life. As for me, adolescence is kinda interesting even though I appeared as a misanthrope mankind. The craziest idea I had when I was 14 was to shave my hair entirely! I don’t know why but I just wanted to do it so my best pal and I went to a barber, making the decision to shave our hair together. Sadly, my friend suddenly pulled back her promise in the process of waiting for our turns. I was angry but I realised that I couldn’t be the only bald head in my school so I backed off, too. At last, we cut our hair short, leaving only two to three inches of them on our scalps. We got to gel and style them everyday, making sure that every single hair stood up ‘neatly’ and ‘coolly’ on our head! :P

In fact, the poem above focuses at the turmoil of being betrayed or dumped by a lover. It is not really unique but I really feel that it suits the thinking and feeling of a teenager. Which girl doesn’t dream in their teens? All of us were longing for a prince charming and indulging in the illusion of being loved and being abandoned at the same time, every minute, every hour and everyday. That’s why; poem like ‘I’m Thinking’ could touch our hearts easily. It was extremely appealing to a sensitive emotion and fragile heart of a teenage girl. The story of ‘Romeo and Juliet’, ‘Cinderella’ and other idiotic ever after stories could ‘kill’ us easily, when we were so young and innocent. That’s the reason for Chloe to had a serious crush on Leonardo Dicaprio after watching ‘Titanic’ in year 1998. :*$ frankly speaking, I was even worse. I carried ‘torches’ upon all sorts of boy bands like: ‘BSB’, ‘Human Nature’, ‘Boyzone’, ‘Take That’, ‘N’sync’, ‘Five’, ‘Handson’, ‘O’ Town’, ‘911’, ‘MLTR’, ‘Moffats’ and many more. The list would go on and on because I would ‘fall in love’ very easily after watching somebody appear as my ‘dream guy’ on screen. (Hey, don’t laugh at me; I know you had that type of stupid action before, too! Yeah!) I would even shed down tears after listening to some songs, which seemed to be too ‘touching’ and ‘true’ to me.( I guess I was totally and completely hopeless! :P)

After all, whenever you recapture the passing years; you would be surprised at how much you have grown. Some sorts of dreams must be buried in your memory as they only belong to the particular period of time. Keep them at a secret corner of your mind, and unlock them once in blue moon. The remembrances would come sudden and swirled, each coloured with its own season…that will be a time, for you to look back your golden years in your life and think of them from a distance as a whole…

That’s the reason for my aunt to keep those poems, which remains as an awesome key to youthful age. She gave me her dreams, I learned to dream, until I realised that a dream is a relic of my chimera, which you could only capture in a fog.

Chinese New Year = ?

Today is Sunday (29th January 2006), yes, it's the first day for Chinese New Year celebration... most of my friends were pretty excited about this festival...According to them, it's a day for the family members to gather together, having great time, eating wholesome dishes... doing stuff like that. I guess they are having close ties with the relatives, that's why they enjoy having the celebration, but kind of like getting more and more 'hateful' toward this festival.

I don't know why. But I couldn't feel it. The new year is not here. Pathetic, isn't it? Nothing special about Chinese New Year, nothing fun. Right now, just right behind me, a group of people are playing poker...yes, gambling...woo... Chinese people love to gamble. It has been a kind of culture for this ethic group since the twilight of the history. But, is that a good practice? I am wondering??!!

Besides, not many relatives gather at my grandpa's house today. Some of them are late, perhaps, or don't feel like coming due to their personal reasons? This maybe due to the discordances or doubts they carry toward each other. Those who are rich may not be that willing to mix with those who are poor, I suppose... some of them do not speak with one another...it's kinda embaressing to face someone whom you had grudges with, right? That's why, few of them are here...

In fact, as the time goes by, many things in our life is changing. Remeber when you were young? Well, whenever I recall back my childhood years, I could feel the extreme opposite sensation. I used to be a kid who was looking forward to the new year celebration... I wasn't looking for the red packet, clothing or what, just a sweet candy could cheer me up...the moments I shared with my cousins were truly amazing...but, they all remain as memories. All of us are growing, so do my cousins. All of us are either studying or working at different locations, there's seem like a big gap between us. Whenever I try to shorten the distance, I find it hard, really. *sigh* that's not only merely my problem.. I think times can change everything... including relationships. it's ok. Urbanization had caused 'evolution' in every aspects.

Anyway, the only thing I am happy with is the one week holiday. How good would that be if it is merely a holiday, without any festival or celebration. Maybe you will think that I am a freak... I guess I am, who on this earth would spend time online at the first day of the new year celebration...Yes, a lonely freak like me.. :P hahaha... it's ok... maybe my friends are going to visit me... maybe...I am not sure. Their visits might be able to make some difference.. :P hahah.. anyway, I didn't see any difference last year after their visits !! :<

*sigh*. I am bored. I hate Chinese New Year...

Chinese New Year = Boredom, stupid relatives and fake faces...

:*$

Freak and Weirdo

In fact, at first, I was thinking of writing something about my good friends or my family members. But, my experience with some people today drives me to produce this post, which is basically a descriptive piece about humans, but NOT ordinary human beings. One relevant thing I would like to emphasize here is that, there are tonnes of WEIRDO or FREAKS around us if you all ever observe the surrounding gingerly.

Ok, the ball is with me right now so let me start with some weirdoes I have been meeting within my own social circle. Have you all ever notice that there are always a few people around you who love to act like they are very close with you? There seem like some unique ties existing between both of you as he or she would judge you in everything you do and label you as some sort of character with certain type of personalities. The weirdo would even tell others about your characteristics openly as if she can read you like a book. Though, the fact is- “she knew nothing about you and the “so-called” facts about you that made by this person are all produced by her own imagination hailed from her “juicy” mind. Yes, all bullshit…

Hey, Chloe, don’t get misunderstood. Neither do I talking about you nor referring to your post about ‘Darlene’. The post about ‘Darlene’ flattered me but at least 90% of the content is reliable and true. Hehe :8 You got most of facts right, through your years of living with me, ya? :p haha… I am writing about someone else. You would not deny that this type of person does exist in this world, right?

Let’s forget about the weirdo above cause I have more here. :p Did anyone of you hear about ‘stalking girl’ story? Not a girl who is stalked by stranger but a girl who likes to ‘stalk’ on others’ activity. She might not be close to you but the way she interacts with you always pressure you. Once you started to chat with her on certain issue or even just casual amiable chat, she would ask you every single little detail seriously and firmly, yes, just like the way a journalist interview a prominent who has just committed crimes. She would try her best to know everything about you, especially your academic performance, and then she will spread around to others as if doing so can grant her a CGPA of 4.0. What’s the point of doing so? Only God will know.

Other than that, there was one friend of mine who was really queer. She was quite a nice girl at the first time I approached her. She was kind enough to help me in many things while lending me ears for all my complaints and homesickness grudges. Later, after knowing her deeper, I realise that there was something very wrong about her. She was emotional and would suddenly give me cold shoulder. Besides, she had a lot of arguments with her roommate in hostel. The manager of hostel management depicted her as ‘Trouble Maker’ who used to lodge tonnes of complaints regarding her roommate and floor mates. She would yell from her windows if the residents downstairs making noise and would sit on the ground of train or LRT when the seats were not available. The utmost horrible thing was she pasted a lot of ‘horrible’ pictures cut from newspapers against her room’s wall. My other friends who had been to her room claimed that those pictures were ugly, however, to me there were not merely ‘ugly’ but scary. I had that kind of feeling when I accidentally spotted one picture of a yellow twisted face. That’s creepy. Since then, I stayed away from her. I guess she didn’t need me at all, too. Her world was too narrow and only able to fit herself in. I am sure that her personalities were developed due to her complex family background. Parents have immense influence upon the way children think and act, isn’t it?

Anyhow, a weirdo wouldn’t really harm you, but a freak does. I met one bloody psychotic taxi driver when I was having my internship with a local press last year. He was a middle-aged man from PJ. None of you can really imagine what happened inside the taxi. I was safe but the driver freaked me out by telling me all sort of nasty nonsense. He said I have the most charming smile which he ever seen in his entire life and he bore a special feeling toward me. He claimed that there weren’t any distance between us after spending the minutes with me inside the dreadful car. The worst thing was he said he was thinking of marrying me and it has a high possibility for me to be his wife because my relationship with my boyfriend is not stable…EWKKK yes, he said all kinds of rubbish that was spine-chilling. The only thing I had in my mind was ‘raped, killed and sliced’!! Luckily, I was safe…I won’t elaborate on that eerie experience but would like to quote his very last sentence before I got off his stupid taxi.

He said, “Miss, if there is ever a chance for me to meet you again in the future, I will never let you off…” :*#

A truly sickening freak, isn’t it? Freak can kill. Better be careful!!

As a matter of fact, majority of the freaks and weirdo can be found in cyberspace, it’s a hotspot for abnormal humans to gather together. Yes, I am speaking from my own experience. Many people who love chatting with strangers online are freaks who are completely running out of their minds. Er.. Actually, I shouldn’t say so; I am a great ‘chatter’ myself, or perhaps ‘addicted chatter’ as defined by Chloe. Nevertheless, I swear that I am not a psychotic, maybe a bit ‘out of track’, but I am perfectly normal, ok? haha..I don’t know why but I really find it an amazing experience to chat with people from all walks of life, from different part of the world… I have to admit that I met with some fantastic people who are really wonderful, whom I will never ever get to know in real life. Nonetheless, meanwhile, I had encounters with freaks, too.

There were some online users who would throw me weird question and weird statements like: “How would you fight in a competition of wrestling?” “We are enemies, so we should fight with each other in a war.” “I want to marry you, are you thinking of becoming my wife?” during the very first chatting session. :*$ hahaha.. Remarkable isn’t it? All sorts of stupid and unimaginable conversations, not many normal mankinds in this world, right?

I wouldn’t further evaluate on it as the list would go on and go…the conclusion I have to make here is- there is a huge amount of people, who would do all sorts of unexplainable thing that either scare you or irritate you. On the other hand, I realise that majority of the human beings have that type of ‘bizarre’ genes inside their body and I find myself queer too…Opppss..I shall not categorizing or claiming who and who are odd, right? I might be the greatest freak in each and every others’ mind!!?? :p

The Party, Organizer and Vodka

I had a party with my friends in ‘Sea Park’ last week. Basically, I was invited as a guest in the first place but things turned out to be ‘a bit’ different from the nature of a guest. It was an appealing and hilarious experience. Before sharing this anecdote with you all, I have to introduce my pal, who invited me to the party.

She named herself ‘Protocol’ few months ago. Scratching your head now? Ya, me too. According to the explanation of the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, ‘Protocol’ carries the meaning of ‘original draft of an agreement between States’ or ‘etiquette as practised on diplomatic occasion’. Don’t ask me why, I am still wondering the main reason for her to name herself this way. What on earth that drives a short girl like her to name herself Protocol? Is it because of the car she drives? Her tanned skin? Or her astonishing body figure? It’s okay. We can put her weird ‘English name’ aside first. :p Ok, Protocol organized a home party. She invited me to HER party as there were not many people involved and she and her housemates needed a person to help them in preparing.

After that, we shopped for the materials in Tesco, which situated in Damansara. All of a sudden, the conversation as below took place:

“Hey, chia, do you know the way to prepare ‘Mah La Guo’ (spicy flavoured steamboat that is famous in Taiwan) or not? None of us know the way of making the soup. We only have a bottle of spicy sauce that was brought from Taiwan. That’s not enough. We must add in something else to make the taste great. Do you know? Can you help?”

My reply was a bit uncertain as I was surprised that none of them know the way to make the soup but yet planning to make it as the core dish. I said, ‘I can ‘try’ to help as my mum is selling all type Malay’s and Indian’s cooking materials for the dishes like: ‘curry’, ‘rendang’, ‘masak kicap’, ‘masak merah’, ‘masak lemak’... but I am not sure if the taste will be great”.

They answered, “ Cincailah, better than nothing. You add in anything you want. It’s ok. We are sure that the taste won’t go too wrong.”

Immediately, I could feel the stress. :P haha. Meanwhile, Protocol was thinking of what to buy for drinks. Then, I suggested alcohol since they were going to have some poker games after eating. (Gambling always comes with Alcohol isn’t it? Though, I was just being cheeky). But, Protocol took it seriously and claimed it to be a great idea. Her only worry was that not all her housemates are able to take pure alcohol.

“Then we mix cocktail lah. What’s so hard about it?” Without any hesitation, I straight away replied her that way, as if I am a professional in cocktail-making. In fact, I only watched others mixed them, before but I myself had never tried before.

Being an alcohol lover and fantastic drinker, Protocol was really in high spirits to hear about it. She gave me the task of preparing the cocktail even after I confessed to her that I had never mixed them myself.

“Cincailah, you just add in whatever you like, I am sure the taste wouldn’t be too queer.” Again, she had her full confidence on me. :&

Next, the story continued in Protocol’s house. Once we reach there, we were busy preparing the vegetables, meats, prawns, eggs and the soup for steamboat. However, at that moment, Protocol told me that, “Chia, I am tired, can I rest for a while upstairs?”

Being a loving and considerate friend, definitely I would allow her to rest. Sadly, she awoke after three hours. Yes, when all the materials are cut, sliced and placed on plates and the living room was overwhelmed by the scent of chilli.

Within the three hours, Protocol’s housemate and I was busying doing all sorts of homemakers’ job in the kitchen. Some more, we did not have enough knives, plates, forks, bowls and stuff like that. Wow! We could feel the pain in our necks. Luckily, after smelling like an oily skunk due to the sweats and oil, I was able to boil the soup successfully with other materials. It was an experiment, but didn’t go wrong. :P after having a good sleep, Protocol approached me with her innocent eyes. She said she was remorseful for her mistake and would do the rest of the job- ‘Take the dishes out and place them on the table’. Hahaha. She looks cute when she is feeling guilty. :p

Lastly, it was the cocktail. Yeah! We bought a bottle Vodka from Tesco, which was 700ml and cost us RM24.99. It consisted of 37% alcohol. Based on the statement of Protocol, it was a brilliant choice because the price was cheap and the percentage of alcohol was high. Hahah.. Obviously, she is very ‘Asoh’.

As I opened the bottle cap, the fragrance occupied my five senses. I was enchanted. I added in almost all of the vodka with some cocktail fruits, mango and lemon juices, until Protocol stopped me. She said it wouldn’t be a wise idea to pour all the wine as the percentage of alcohol is high So, I was left with about 100 ml of Vodka. What should I do? Certainly have a taste of it since the scent was so irresistible. The problem was, after taking the first sip, I couldn’t stop it. Yes, I stored the rest of them in my stomach. :P

Later, when everyone was busying scrambling for the spicy steamboat, I was busying drinking the cocktail as the taste was too wonderful for me. I do not really like steamboat. Maybe things will be different if we are having wintry weather in Malaysia. Anyway, I never find it a great idea to eat hot-water-cooked vegetables or meats under that type of warm temperature. That’s why; my heart was captured by the icy cold cocktail.

The result I gained: Red face +Red eyes +Red skin= Red MoNsTeR. I wasn’t drunk but the skins all over my body was red in colour especially those covered parts as they are the fairest fractions. They are well-protected from sunlight but definitely not wine. :P Besides, I couldn’t sleep for the entire night. I felt myself animated. My body was hot. The alcohol excited my nerves. (Don’t think the other way round, ok?). Whenever I closed my eyes, I felt myself spinning and there were something caught between my throat and stomach. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. At last, I drank water, lots of water and forced myself to puke. :& after vomiting for three times, I felt better. Finally, I could have a nice sleep at 5am.

I would like to apologise to Chloe as I accidentally woke her up with my awful puking sound in the middle of the night. Sorry, I couldn’t help it. :p I learnt an important lesson- ‘never finished up the Vodka all by yourself and stay away from Protocol when she is thinking of ‘organizing’ a party’. :p hehehhe.. Amusing, isn’t it? I was supposed to be a guest, but then ended up carrying the task to take care of the major duty of the party and even demonstrated the way of preparing the soup and cocktail. Haha…in fact, I knew nothing about it. J The party was tiring, but it was fun. A first time experience of being an organizer, fortunately, I had a whale of time with those lovely friends, even though some of them were strangers to me.

What I would like to emphasize here is that, I wasn’t drunk, ok? I was conscious enough to write an e-mail to my friend when holding a glass of cocktail with my left hand. :*$ Can you see it? Mr. Stanhope? I WASN’T drunk. Moreover, the utmost relevant fact is --The party was a decent social gathering for decent people like us. It was a jamboree for friendship-building and relaxation, nothing wild or fishy. Please bear in your mind! :p

Hurray! A great party! Everyone was satisfied with the steamboat and cocktail. I received tonnes of compliments. One of the housemates even claimed that the guy who is going to marry me in the future will be the most fortunate man in this world! J

YaY! Thinking of a party? Maybe I can aid you in organizing! *wink. :p For vodka, cheers!!

WoW (3)

3. Carl

Here’s the greatest tutor when I was having my high school days! He taught me Bahasa Malaysia (Malay Language) and I had to attend his class in tuition centre 3 hours per week. Carl was the most well-known BM tutor at that period of time and he wouldn’t simply accept any students without knowing their ability in that language. He used to assure his student that all of us could score an A if we follow what he asked us to do.

Like what I have mentioned before, I love languages, including BM. I aimed to achieve an A1 in the coming SPM examination so I followed all his words and advises. I underwent a ‘devil’ type of training and worshipped him like a God because he was really the best tutor for me at that period of time. His knowledge and skill in essay writing was really marvellous! Finally, after all those hard work, I scored an A1 in BM. I was rejoicing. The first thing I did after taking my result was to call my tutors and thank them deeply. But, for Carl, I would like to thank him personally by showing him my result.

So, the next day, I went to the tuition centre to meet him. It was a hot day and I sweated a lot. My body was sticky but I was really happy thinking of showing my most respectable tutor my result. He was having a class in the tuition centre; I did not want to interrupt him so I waited outside the class for 45 minutes without air-con and fan under the hot temperature just to get him during the short class’s break.

Lastly, I got him with me for about 5 minutes. He remembered me and I proudly show him my result slip while telling him that I scored an A1 in BM.

“Sir, thank you very much. You help me to score an A1 in BM. I am really lucky to have you as my tutor. Thank you soooo much!”

He replied, “Nope, it’s all your hard work. I teach you and you are willing to strive hard for yourself. So how many A’s do you get in SPM? 8, 9 or 10?”

I was shocked. Awkwardly, I told him that I was only able to score 5 As and planning to apply and study in a private college. His response was somewhat irritating as he turned into a cold face after knowing that I was only a 5As achiever.

“Why applying private college? Why not local universities? You can try to apply UTM. UTM will accept 5As achievers, if not then study form six. It is always better to study in local universities!”

I said, “But I am interested in mass communication rather than anything else. I was a science student so I wouldn’t be able to change my major if I were to further my education in local universities.”

His last sentence and action were devastating. He said, “Oh I see.” After that, he just walked away, without even saying a goodbye or looking at me twice.

The story isn’t good because it ended with me walking alone on the street, with my mind that had his last few words replaying, over and over again. I was really too naïve to imagine that he will be overjoyed for a student who scored A1 in his subject and then went back to thank him personally.

After all, he granted me a chance to see through human nature. Ya, it was my fault; I wasn’t a 10 or 11 As scholars, what for thanking him? However, I am still grateful for having him as my tutor. Without him, I guess I won’t be able to get an A1 so easily. There is something that I have wanted to yell at him since years ago:

“Sir, I am not the best achiever, neither do I entering local university nor taking STPM. But, I am doing perfectly fine in my current private university and I will be getting a bachelor degree very soon, at the age of 21!” :P

WoW (2)

2. Betty

She had a great influence on me during my elementary level. Betty was my form teacher when I was in my standard 4, 5 and 6. I am not sure if I should say I like her but she is definitely an influential educator that enables me to grow.

I have a fancy for writing and languages since I was just a kid. Unfortunately, I was in the top class during my primary level. For your information, my primary school is the most prominent school in my little hometown. There have been representatives for all sorts of competitions outside the school and most of the students do well by gaining victory. Yes, I am trying to tell you all that I was one of those representatives, but seriously, nothing glamour.

As a matter of fact, I had been sent for all types of competition in writing, languages, calligraphy and even drawing. I have to admit that I did well most of the time by bringing back trophies but there were times I failed. Certainly, Betty wasn’t happy about it, she specially arranged other representatives and me in a group and asked some other teacher to teach us on Chinese literature, calligraphy and even essay writing during the schooling hours. So, obviously, we couldn’t have the same schedule as what others did that time. I was under a lot of stress because I had been chosen to represent quite a few competitions at the same time while having the obligation to maintain my academic performance. It was really hard. I used to do my homework and those extra exercises plus my tuition’s homework until 1 or 2 am. It was really unhealthy for a kid who was growing both mentally and physically. My mum was kinda worried. She accompanied me to do my stuff until I completed them all and even did some of them for me when I had to memorize Chinese literature while preparing final exams.

Frankly speaking, I lived in the hell! At last, I couldn’t take it anymore and broke down in front of my mum. She had tears in her eyes while telling me to quit participating in several competitions. What I did was I purposely screwed up my calligraphy class by writing them badly. Besides, I also stopped handing in my ‘extra’ exercises by giving the excuses that I couldn’t do them well and I wanted to quit some contests. As a result, Betty was furious. She scolded me badly and punished me with her cane until it scraped the skin of my palm (I am not exaggerating! It was quite common for teachers to slap or caned students harshly in my school that time).

Meanwhile, Betty also picked on my hand writing. She said I had a terrible handwriting and it could be a ‘disease’ that could spread. As such, for other students’ sake, she got to ‘quarantined’ me from others. Sound unbelievable? Better believe it. Betty changed the seats by transferring my best friend who sat beside me that time. I was traumatized over that incident. It was the first time for me to realise the sense of being boycotted. I was lonely and helpless. As a school kid who were vulnerable and innocent, it is turmoil! However, the only lucky thing was the quitting of those contests turned out to be a success and Betty didn’t really pick on me again after the seat-changing thing.

Some of you might think that she is really a prick! I do not find myself liking her as I still couldn’t understand what made her to act so ruthlessly toward an obedient and over-pressured kid? Anyway, I want to tell you all about her because she actually aided me to develop my talent which I wouldn’t aware without her guidance, but, ya, in a relentless way. :-)