Monday, December 29, 2008

向昨天说再见



第一次听到这首歌的时候我只有十岁?实际年龄记不得了,只知道当时只略知一些英文单字的我就在那一瞬间被曲子浓郁的惆怅音乐深深吸引。还是个孩子的我就到处去向大人们打听,但是却徒劳无功。最后终于在报章上得知那其实是旧曲翻唱。当时红及一时的黑人组合- “从男孩到男人”以他们不凡、惊人的嗓子把最真实的情感注入了歌中,酿成了一曲绝世奇迹。

经过了无数次的字典翻查,我终于对歌词有了更深一层的了解。顿时惊觉美词艳曲在结合了浑厚完美的歌喉之后真的是足以‘杀死人’。于是,我对这首歌的痴迷程度即可达到疯狂境界。贫穷的我省吃俭用了好几个月才负担得起十八零吉的卡带。然后我就如获至宝的每天至少重复听十次,直到琅琅上口为止。也许那种浪漫少年情怀真的就只属于那个情绪化的年代吧?若干年后的我竟在不经意间把这首难得金曲给抛在记忆中的某处。珍贵的卡带在多次的搬迁后不知所踪,强烈的纯真情操随之遗失。

多年后我路经‘塔楼记录库’不经意的撞见 “从男孩到男人” 的精选专辑。如今的他们早已不如往昔,专辑自然也便宜了许多。不知为什么,就在那之后的一分钟,我拿了光碟就去柜台付钱。

接下来的四十五分钟,我飞驰于从圣塔安娜至河边九十号高速公路上,听着这首熟悉的歌曲。 再一次真真切切地被感动了。

就像歌中所提到的一样,要向昨天和过去说再见真的好难。一切的经历﹑眼泪﹑欢笑与震撼仿佛发生在昨天,可是在想要去捕捉时却又觉得很遥远。所以,我潇洒的挥了挥手,把感觉放在心里。记忆真的是一辈子的,没有任何人可以夺走它;这一切就像那首歌一样,在很多年后的今天我再次深深爱上。也因为这样,我觉得也许有那么一天我可以再拥有新的一页回忆,保有同样的人﹑事﹑物,让故事延续下去。

我只是想推荐这一首好歌,仅此而已。

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Just Random

What do you think about foreign workers? I mean like those from Indonesia, Vietnam,India, Nepal, Philippine, Bangladesh, Cambodia and some other developing countries. Normally, they will be taking those blue-collared jobs which the local citizens refuse to. In fact, they are categorized as the lowest class in the society. Day after day, they are judged and stereotyped and discriminated. I talked with my friends about this group of people before and the words like 'Dangerous', 'Dirty', 'Smelly','Slutty' were heavily used.

Well, I used to agree with them as some of the generalizations can be true. Some of them do contributed to the increasing crime rate in the country. However, one thing for sure- not ALL of them are like that. In fact, just refer to the common cases of maid-abuse and some other forms of exploitations by the agents and employers. Seriously, if they have better choice, no one would want to leave their homelands and work as cleaners, maids or even worse- prostituted themselves at 5 bucks at a land which is totally strange for them. In my opinion, I think that the pressure and judgement of the 'other higher classes' around forced them to stick together closely with one another. As such, they always appear in group or gang. It is an obvious sign of insecurity.

No, I am not joining the bandwagon to voice about the maid-abuse issue. Actually, it's my present encounter with them drives me to jot down something about this special group of people. Just like any other huge company, mine also hired a lot of foreigners to do the cleaning job. Since we all share the same pantry and working area, I always have chance to observe them closely when I have nothing better to do.

All of them are from different countries but they all share a few significant traits.

1. They walk across people fast with eyes staring on the floor. I am always amazed that they were able to avoid hitting the pillars, shelves and things around them.

2. If they accidentally having eye-contact with other employees who are not doing domestic work, some kind of uneasiness will rise from their eyes. Quickly, they will look away and continue staring down.

3. When they see others coming from the front, no matter how much stuff they were carrying, they would automatically moved to the side and allowed others to walk past first.

4. During lunch hour, they would avoid sharing the same table with the rest of the people. Normally, when they had no choice, they chose to sit at a corner and tried to hide their entire head into the lunch box while eating.

5. They always looked sorry and apologised first when they thought they were blocking others' way but in fact is the other way round.

6. They never greet anybody or make any noise when non-cleaners are around.

Their inferiority is apparent. I don't know why but it kills me in someways.

I really want to say 'Hi' to them sometimes but I am not sure how would they feel and react about it. I feel sad seeing them swallowing the food from their lunch box, which is normally some curry soup over the plain rice. A lot of questions played in my mind--"Do they miss a home-cooked meals from home?"; "How often they call home?"; "When could they go home?"; "What do they feel about working here?"; "How do they think about the themselves and the other members in the society?"

Some people might think that I care too much about some unnecessary stuff. Maybe I am, though trust me, I can understand how it feels like in someway. I worked ALL kinds of job before. I worked as babysitter, maid, cashier, waitress, went selling books door-to-door and even cleaned some bathroom and toilets before for living. Life is hard and sometimes you just have to do everything to survive.

My grandparents used to have one disturbed Indonesian maid who mixed her urine into the drinking water jar and also some others who stole. Meanwhile, I had relatives who slapped and insulted her domestic helper besides pouring boiling water on her after she found out that her husband had been sleeping with the younger maid.

I guess, in general, nobody would like to be belittled or live right next to prejudice. But, we stay in a cold world, ruthless persecutions and generalizations are everywhere. Like what my Long Island host mom used to say, "Then toooOOooo bad, life is never fair.." Somehow, I think that everybody has their own destiny. Who knows, maybe after years of working, their families will be able to lead a better life.

Believe it or not, most of the time, the reason for us to be strong and fearless is our 'family'. It is the strongest support you could ever gain from this planet.

So, love yourself and love everybody. It's ok to be treated mean but never be mean to anybody. Treat others the way you want to be treated. I believe in 'karma'. Life is definitely going to take you to a place where you belong.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Gibberish

Have anyone of you notice that time runs faster than the Japanese 'Shinkanse' after college? Again, Christmas and Chinese New Year is around the corner. I thought I just had my Christmas in year 2008? JEEZ, it's the end. Year 2009 is coming. I was just in grief having my 24 years old birthday celebration; now, the ticking of the clock is alarming me about the approaching of 25 next year, following by 26, 27, 28, 29 and then 30?! LORD! I have to stop thinking about that else I will go crazy.

I realise that I have the tendency to act 'young' and 'cute' comparing to the passing three years. I started to cut my hair shorter with plenty of layers besides keeping bangs. Picking clothes that are 'baby doll' like is something that I would do, too if I think the attire suits me in someway. Meanwhile, wearing some make-up seems to be a necessary thing to do nowadays. Majority of my skincare products carry the anti-aging and wrinkle-fighting functions. Things get more complicated right now as I used to only need to put on moisturising cream. *sigh* Women definitely have a life-long declaration of war to the things, which are closely related to their outward appearance. We go insane losing weight, burn hole in pocket for grooming and even kill to grab on the tail of youthful age. I swear, in my next life, I want to be a man!

Anyways, as cliche as it sounds, my life is really a roller coaster. There are too many extremes. It can be painful, but seriously, I love it. I am sorry mom, it is impossible for me to live up to your expectation of a good daughter, who is obedient. I am not wild but I just don't like being trapped in a conventional society, following some kinds of rules that I think I am not supposed to. The changes in life make me grow in a steady way and I am really glad that I have a 8 months old niece now. Oh, no, the niece thing and the whole previous paragraph has no direct relationship, I guess I am just missing her right now since she is definitely a freaking adorable baby.

I was on a jet plane not too long again and then I moved away. Now, I will have to move again pretty soon. Gosh, this life journey thing is never going to give me a break. But I think I like it in someways. It's exciting, isn't it? Again, a new place with new experience! yeah!

Currently, I am a working class at this Japanese company. Most of the time, I can't differentiate myself from a cleaning lady. White people who came to the store will ASSUME I were a retard and started to spell out each and every word they were saying. 0_o. Well, I guess I will ask if I don't understand. It can be frustrating sometimes but I like my job since it is really an easy-money to earn. the toughest part might be the Japanese style of management system, which include countless times of briefing a day. Though, I can live with it as long as I could have a peek at the books I like once in a while at the corner.

I am not gay but I pro-homosexual. I always think that they are cool. So, I have been reading this Apple's gay blog for quite a while. I like the way the writer conveys his thoughts into words and also admire his truthfulness towards his real feelings. Undeniably, he has a very very wonderful command of language that is rare to be found from other bloggers. However, his recent post about Malaysia Vs Singapore and also Johorean Vs KL people pissed me off. I am not defensive, it's just that I can't tolerate ignorant people to talk about something they don't even know and ended up using ONLY A LOT of generalizations! Come on, if you really want to write something you have no any shit thoughts about, go do some research instead of just using your instinct or friends' opinions. It is just pathetic and ridiculous! I was going to drop a line at his post days ago but then I knew it is going to be more than one lines so I didn't do it. GOD! I am really busy with work nowadays! I don't even have time to show my hostility! Hmm, I think I still love gay people and I still admire gay's Apple writing. But, I still hate the post. Anyways, nobody cares. So, I shut up!

I am not sure about what I have said in this post and also what the purpose was. I think it is just another random update, where there was no connections among paragraphs. I guess besides the aging part, I am happy with my life right now. I am excited about the next coming change!

Hurray!