It's like a Drama

There's one Chinese saying goes,' Life's a movie.' Well, I never believe in that until I flew to US to start my new journey in life.

Living as an au pair, Yes.. It's never easy. It's a typical homemaker's life, and at the meantime, you have to take care of your own depression and emotions while undergoing the process of culture shock and lifestyle adaption. I am doing prefectly ok right now, after months of staying and dealing with typical Americans. In fact, besides having crazy children and having a somewhat more open-minded thinking, they are just like any other citizens in this world. In short, just humans.

My working hours now is long but pretty flexible. If compare to some other au pairs, my workload is still heavy as I am staying with a single host mum, though, I am willing to do anything for her due to her kindness and loving nature. She's always grateful and she appreciates what I have done for her and the kids. That's enough. As long as you are nice to me, I am willing to do anything for you.

It's not really a long time I left the West Coast, however, I feel like it has been ages. I don't know why. I guess it's because I had a really hard time there. Protocol was the only one who's really clear about my situation in CA. She said that my previous host family are inhumane and they are worst than beast. I don't know. They are basically kind people and can be nice sometimes, but maybe not to me. I guess they hate me too much.

According to Protocol, I was abused and treated like a slave. I am not sure if that's true. But, I sort of like being haunted. Almost every single night, those cruel words would linger in my mind.

"We thought that you are gorgeous, lovely, smart and intelligent. But the things that you have done proved that you have no brain in your head..."

"You are acting like a teenager and you are not responsible at all. You have no brain, Chia!"

"We don't care about you and your driving test. My boys' christmas party is more important than anything else..."

"I really don't know what happened to your fucking mind!"

"You have no good values to me..."

"I want you to clean the bathroom today. I want you to do it right now..."

"There's one piece of block under the table in the living room. It has been there for weeks and nobody's there to pick it up. Why don't you go and do that?"

"If you don't have the initiative to start any conversation with me, I won't do that either. If you say hi, I will reply. If not, I won't say anything to you..."

"As a person, not an au pair, you are just freaking nice..."

"You only think about yourself, not ours kids..."

"I don't care if you like it or not, I just want you to come to my boys' room every night and say good night to them..."

"We are the BEST host parents in this world. If you want to rematch, I am sure that you will never be able to find another host family who's as good as we are."

After living with this new family. I started to feel like my previous one is sorta like evil. Don't you think so?

My current host mum told her neighbours, relatives and friends that I am sweet, helpful and kind. She said that I am way too patient and always sweet to her and her children... That's a total opposite kind of comments. I have no problems in communicating with my current host mum, too. That's bizzare, isn't it?

Anyway, I learnt a lot. The abusing part is one, the matching process which I had gone through is even worse. I was like being ripped apart. I was like a piece of worthless junk, being insulted and thrown from one place to another.

Anyhow, I am fine and I am thankful for everything, still. I went through a dramatic transform within the short three months and I started to know more about life. Life's unpredictable. Be thankful and learn to appreciate. We have to live up our life to the fullest, everything happened for a reason, just try your best and learn to accept the facts. Stop worrying too much and go partying! :P hehe.

We don't really have to make a plan for ourselves but we must have a direction. Follow the direction and you will gain more inspiration. Trust me, it's going to lead you somewhere.

I don't kow why I would come out with this post. Maybe it's because my new counsellor os coming for a Two-weeks visit tonight and it sorta like reminds me of my first Two-weeks visit in California, with my first host parents and my awesome counsellor, Judy.

Just a random post. You don't have to read it.

Cheers for our life.

My Valentine

If there were no words no way to speak

I would still hear you

If there were no tears no way to feel inside

I still feel for youAnd even if the sun refused to shine

Even if romance ran out of rhyme

You'd still have my heart until the end of time

You're all I need my love, My Valentine.

All of my life I have waited for all you give to me

You opened my eyes and showed me how to love unselfishly

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before

In my dreams I couldn't love you more

I will give you my heart until the end of time

You're all I need my love my Valentine

And even if the sun refused to shine

Even if romance ran out of rhyme

You'd still have my heart until the end of time

Cause all I need is you My Valentine

You're all I need my love, My Valentine.

THANKS, Protocol. You're my valentine. MUAKS.

Let's build our cubby hole in California, ok? Yes, just the two of us. Love you.

Happy Valentine.

Mirror

When you look at the mirror, what do you see?

Your own face, your eyes, your other features, your hair?

When I look at the mirror, I see my own soul, searching for the purpose in life. Now, I have seen a glimmer of hope, a direction in life. I guess I have to brace up to take up the challenge again. Though, I have to give up something, to enter the brand new chapter.

I want to get rid of my vacant eyes. I want to have a pair of eyes that radiate with youthful spirit, hope and joy.

1,2,3. Ready? Go! New chapter of life!

Winter in New York

Finally, for the very first time, I had my winter in a foreign country. Even though the global warming issue had caused the temperature to increase and the winter has no longer that cold, though, for a Malaysian girl like me, it's still FREAKING cold!

That morning, after finish preparing the lunch boxes and the breakfast, I managed to take the photoes. It's like a scene in dream...Gosh! Big snow. Snow flakes came falling from sky. the ground, the tree and everything on earth were covered with layer of white snow. You guys got to see the pictures. There you go!

Since it's freezing cold outside, people are wearing thick sweaters, winter coats, hats and gloves. I guess the poodles should wear something to keep them warm, too. So that they wont catch cold.

Aha. Nono... Raffles and Maggie, you guys should wear something!

Here we go! A blue sweater for Raffle and a red one for Maggie! They have their turtle necks! :p cutie pies! That's the winter in Long Island, New York! Freezing cold but it's fun! :)

Last Cluster Meeting in CA

I had my last cluster meeting in Pasadena, Los Angeles with a bunch of Au pair and my counsellor last January. We had the jewellery workshop and it was the first time I made myself a set of jewellery that include: necklace, earings and bangels. It was fun. It was a meaningful day for me as my dearest counsellor, Judy gave Rose and I a farewell party in Starbuck after the workshop. She baked us a cake, and wrote our name on it. I love her. I really do. Thanks you millions, Judy, I can never thank you enough, never ever.

Let's see the photoes.
That's the set of jewellery I made. I spent hours in doing that. Are they pretty? Well, it's ok. Maybe you will find them ugly but my friends love them. I think that they look very 'African', :P but Lisi said that they look very 'Egyptian'. :P haha. Anyway, hardwork, treasure them.
My stunning friend from Thailand, Too. Bye, Too, love you.
A cake for Rose and me. Bye, Judy and friends.
Au pairs, GREAT counsellor and the flag of Brazil?!

That's the utmost wonderful cluster meeting I ever Had. Thanks Judy, for everything.