Monday, February 09, 2009

Wonder

In order to prepare my first research method class for tomorrow, I flipped through my previous lecturer notes 5 years ago. Fortunately, I decided to keep some of the related notes of certain subjects which I thought to be precious, else I won't be able to use them as reference right now.

So, reading through my notes, I was like on a time machine, travelling back to the old days in lecture halls. I still remember,the lecturer of the subject. She was a very special religion freak who had done her study overseas for a very long period of time. Anyways, I did not have a good time during the classes she conducted because I never like math related subjects in my entire life, whereas research method is basically about using formulas to analyze data gained from different kind of researches.

However, luckily, the mathematics and formula involved in the subjects were not too complicated. I did not do well at the mid term test but was able to catch up later and then excelled at final exam. Actually, I owe a big 'Thank You' to my pal, Lampfly who was willing to guide me when I approached her for the problems. She left her handwriting in my notebook, correcting my mistakes while reminding me to not repeat them.

Besides, I found a copy of her mid-term test paper from my folder. She was kind enough to allow me making a copy of her 'intellectual property' as a reference to the relevant answers.

Looking at her tidy handwriting, I felt a sense of familiarity.

How time flies. Not too long ago, I was the one who sat in the hall, busy copying notes and listening to the professor. Now, it's my turn to teach the college kids in research method? Seriously, I couldn't believe it myself.

I miss my old friend. Sincerely, I wish that everything goes well with her.

As for me, I wonder if I am able to take the job. Sheesh.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Raise A Chicken from Egg

I was doing some random browsing online and then out of the blue I came across the picture at the left from http://www.lonelism.blogspot.com/. The picture was kind of cute and the 'caption' wan my chuckles so I would like to have it appear in my blog; as a memory, record or something.

That was good because I feel incredibly weak right now. At least, the little funny man under gloomy cloud has eased my heart in some way.

I know that I will feel better by tomorrow but at the moment, somewhere in my heart just does not feel right, I need somebody to be here with me right now.

Perhaps, this is another symptom of anxiety for moving again. Normally, I would hide it, only those who are really close to my heart will be aware of that. Seriously, I am thankful for whatever I have right now; I am blessed with a lot of exciting stuff in life. However, I am definitely stressed out by various 'enormous' transformations in life within this two years. I kept flying, moving, changing, adapting in completely foreign atmosphere. The cycle went on and on for A LOT of times; they are 'numerous' and 'frequent' enough to drive somebody to a nerve-wrecking point. Needless to say, I have been always pretty much on my own.

I have guts, I am independent and I am tough in someways. Though, I really hate the feeling of dealing all the problems by myself ALL THE TIME. I remember there was this evening, I went berserk sobbing, yelling and crying to somebody, questioning about his position and the basic dedication he was supposed to contribute. That was a scary one. I never yelled and cried and cursed so much in my entire life before. Plus, I was driving when doing that, so almost met into car crash and died on the road at some random unknown rural area.

Yeah, it can be spooky when I go crazy. But, it won't happen so much in life.

I think I am just tired sometimes. Believe it or not, I just want my life to be simple. The real happiness can only be found through simplicity.

I am still helpless. Though, I feel like I can deal with tomorrow better now.

Good night.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

白日梦

近日生活稍微悠闲的我抽空看了一片买了许久的电影光碟——《手札情緣》 英文又名‘The Notebook ’ 。 开始时我只想要打发一个无聊的午后, 对这部片子压根没抱任何寄望。我以为这只是另一出高唱天长地久,海枯石烂的普通无聊爱情悲剧。 当初之所以会花钱买下也只是因为它被归类于‘清盘销售’的角落, 价格不可置信的便宜。
十五岁之前,我相信永恒,信奉爱情,崇尚浪漫不切实际的电影情节。在疑惑的青春期过后,我开始知道戏剧和现实的差别,逐渐对那种天真得一蹋糊涂的爱情片近而远之。抱持着这种先入为主心态的我却在电影开始的第一秒钟被深深吸引。

这是一部改编自著名浪漫作家-尼可拉斯.史派克的同名之作。《手札情緣》 的故事其实并不突出,中心围绕着穷小子爱上富豪千金被禁止的恋爱;在无奈被逼分离之下又怎么排除万难与七年后破镜重圆。尽管剧中主角的缠绵镜头拍得如梦如幻,惊天地并泣鬼神,那样的剧情还真的是千篇一律叻!但是,它的越人之处就在于开场时那位不断重复朗读相同的爱情故事给失忆老妇聆听的年老男主角。

身患失智症的妇人忘了自己亲爱的子女和一同破除万难才得以在一起的丈夫,医生断定她绝对没办法复原。痴情的丈夫却绝不放弃,坚持搬迁至相同的疗养院,每天读着他们的爱情故事给妻子听。他所期待的是在朗读一百次相同的小说给爱妻听之后,偶尔她会有清醒的两至三分钟来认回丈夫。之后的第四分钟就会把至爱推开,视同陌路,精神崩溃。

深爱妻子的老人最不能忍受的就是在一分钟温暖的拥抱后就被大力推开, 终于在那么一天,他心碎了,看着医务人员安抚着歇斯底里的爱人,他扶坐于床沿,放身大哭。那一刻的绝望真的是刻骨铭心。

随后,老人独自的翻阅那本他每天朗读的笔记簿,原来他的爱妻在得知自己患上病后就尽快持笔记录下与丈夫的爱情故事,吩咐他在自己忘掉一切后要每天朗读给她听。在本子的第一页,她写下了如此一席话:

“只要你读给我听,我就会回到你身边。”

读到这里,你可能会很不屑的发出一声冷笑,说道:“还不是那种浪漫爱情戏?还花了半天说你不喜欢叻!不要假假啦!”

我是真的觉得在某些方面这出戏真的有些特出,也或许是纯粹被感动吧。我还是要申明, 我真的很讨厌那种现代娇情虚假的电影!

在《手札情緣》结束后,我的脑海浮现了另一出我自认为凄美的爱情电视剧-- 《解连环》 这是一出很久以前新视所开拍的短篇电视连续剧。

其中演员并不特别好,演技也属一般。但是,我在几个月前又旧剧重看还是非常喜爱。我想我应该是迷恋于那种前世今生的虚幻情节吧! 剧中男女主角投胎转世三生,各在不同阶段化成拥有不同际遇的不同人物,却誓要和同一个人相爱到底。 然而,他们的命运如何自有天安排,结果怎么样?就是那老套的一句:“天意呀!”


也许不论在如何理智、成熟的女性心底总是有一些天真烂漫的幻想。尽管自己在怎么鄙视商业化的虚假爱情电影的当儿,总会有那么几出是能够触动你的心悬﹑赚你几把眼泪的。

女人,你真是一个梦想家。

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Newcomer

Sometimes, you just couldn't help but wonder about the magical impact of some random 'newcomer' in a family.
Thanks baby, you have changed ours life, you never know how grateful I felt towards you...

Love you. MUAKS.