我知道很有可能我会被雷劈，但是我真的很恨我爸。
从小到大， 我就一直在幻想没有爸爸的日子会有多好。他一直以来就是一个毫无感激及廉耻心的人， 一直到现在还是一个大包袱；重来就没有为任何人做过什么却无赖的认定这个世界欠了他一切。
我妈是这世上最笨的人；她不懂得改变，不懂得为自己争取应得的基本幸福，像个白痴似的傻傻的从结婚那一天无条件奉献所有； 换来的却是无止境的索求及怨恨。
我真的觉得没有爸爸的世界会更美好。 他不值得被任何人尊敬﹑更不配被唤‘爸爸。
我的童年就因为他而灰暗暗；我对人性的失望也从他而起。
随着岁月的增长，我惊然发现他带给我的影响空前绝后的大，父母的确是造就孩子性格与思想的关键。
我恨我爸。如果你有一个好爸爸，我由衷的恭贺你，因为对于我来说这真的是遥不可及的事。 你必定是前世做尽了好事而修来的福，请珍惜。
Friday, September 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Relief
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Finally, I have done marking 200 copies of research proposals..
A student wrote the 20 pages proposal for once, the poor tutor have to read through the proposal line by line, correcting all of the errors and then repeated the same action for 199 times in the rest of the proposals.
I was rushing as I have a deadline to meet.
After five days of marking, continuously, I completed the task!
Even though, I felt like crying sometimes in the process of marking, but still, I stayed with it.
A student wrote the 20 pages proposal for once, the poor tutor have to read through the proposal line by line, correcting all of the errors and then repeated the same action for 199 times in the rest of the proposals.
I was rushing as I have a deadline to meet.
After five days of marking, continuously, I completed the task!
Even though, I felt like crying sometimes in the process of marking, but still, I stayed with it.
In the end...
The alleviation and sense of completion is fulfilling.
What A Relief!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Press Freedom
Here's our tutorial question for today. We are going to talk about media agenda setting theory. Let's read the article below:
Foreign hands in blockades
Foreigners caught on camera mingling with and instigating Penans at Long Nen and Long Bangan blockades
MIRI: It’s confirmed! Foreigners are behind many of the blockades set up by Penans in timber camps in the state.
It has long been suspected that many foreign environmentalists and socalled conservationists had been instigating and encouraging the natives to erect blockades and disrupt logging activities, though they had always denied their involvement.
But yesterday four foreigners, including two women, were seen among protesters manning blockades in Ulu Baram.
This contradicts claims by local non-governmental organisations (NGOs) that foreigners have never meddled in the internal affairs of the state.
The foreign nationals, believed to be an Australian, an Indian and two Dutch women, were seen at an access road at Long Bangan and Long Nen in Ulu Baram, orchestrating the protesters with signboards for pictures to be taken.
They were also seen mingling freely among the natives and giving out instructions.
The blockade at Long Nen erected about 6am was followed by another blockade about 2pm at Long Bangan, with the foreign nationals present at both places in an apparently coordinated arrangement and timing.
The wooden blockade structures were simple but the message was clear as the camps set up at the respective sites were manned by Penan men, women and children with the aim of disrupting logging and reforestation activities in the area.
Three major logging companies are operating in the area.
A logging camp manager yesterday lodged a report at the Long Lama police station about the activities of the four foreigners.
The report said they were seen together with the natives at the blockade sites. Marudi police chief DSP Jonathan Jalin, when contacted, said police were aware of a few foreigners at the blockade sites.
“They were also seen with the Penans in Long Lama and we are interested to find out who they are and what they are doing in the jungle with the Penans,” he said.
The protesters yesterday handed an unsigned written list of demands and notice to stop all lorries from passing through to a logging camp manager, to the foreigners and two journalists from The Borneo Post and See Hua Daily News who were at the scene. The group also handed out copies of a news clipping on about 3,000 Penans in Belaga facing starvation due to crop failure as claimed by Deputy Minister of Rural and Regional Development Datuk Joseph Entulu recently. ( article taken from Borneo Post )
Foreign hands in blockades
Foreigners caught on camera mingling with and instigating Penans at Long Nen and Long Bangan blockades
MIRI: It’s confirmed! Foreigners are behind many of the blockades set up by Penans in timber camps in the state.
It has long been suspected that many foreign environmentalists and socalled conservationists had been instigating and encouraging the natives to erect blockades and disrupt logging activities, though they had always denied their involvement.
But yesterday four foreigners, including two women, were seen among protesters manning blockades in Ulu Baram.
This contradicts claims by local non-governmental organisations (NGOs) that foreigners have never meddled in the internal affairs of the state.
The foreign nationals, believed to be an Australian, an Indian and two Dutch women, were seen at an access road at Long Bangan and Long Nen in Ulu Baram, orchestrating the protesters with signboards for pictures to be taken.
They were also seen mingling freely among the natives and giving out instructions.
The blockade at Long Nen erected about 6am was followed by another blockade about 2pm at Long Bangan, with the foreign nationals present at both places in an apparently coordinated arrangement and timing.
The wooden blockade structures were simple but the message was clear as the camps set up at the respective sites were manned by Penan men, women and children with the aim of disrupting logging and reforestation activities in the area.
Three major logging companies are operating in the area.
A logging camp manager yesterday lodged a report at the Long Lama police station about the activities of the four foreigners.
The report said they were seen together with the natives at the blockade sites. Marudi police chief DSP Jonathan Jalin, when contacted, said police were aware of a few foreigners at the blockade sites.
“They were also seen with the Penans in Long Lama and we are interested to find out who they are and what they are doing in the jungle with the Penans,” he said.
The protesters yesterday handed an unsigned written list of demands and notice to stop all lorries from passing through to a logging camp manager, to the foreigners and two journalists from The Borneo Post and See Hua Daily News who were at the scene. The group also handed out copies of a news clipping on about 3,000 Penans in Belaga facing starvation due to crop failure as claimed by Deputy Minister of Rural and Regional Development Datuk Joseph Entulu recently. ( article taken from Borneo Post )
Media are good at using framing technique to set the agenda. They never told us how to think, but what to think about by designing, editing and using the other angle of the message to tell the fantasy kind of story.
Who on earth is going to care about the minority and supressed group in the country?
Obviously, nobody.
Rareness
That's rare.
For some reasons, I have A LOT of students who are very hardworking. Their impetuous spirit, passion and enthusiasm in acquiring knowledge stroke me.
When I was being nice and offered to just cancel the coming classes since I have nothing else to share anymore. They still insisted that they want to have the last class with me next week. I emphasized for millions times that I won't have any 'tips' or 'insider information' about the final exam already, they still determined to attend my class next week. I am totally done with the revision and so far they haven't raise any question cause they won't begin their revision within these few days until the study week really kick off. Though, they still want me to hold the classes next week.
I really wonder why. I have absolutely nothing to teach anymore next week so I decided to give them a chance to get lazy or going back to their hometown earlier and if they have ANY questions during study week, they can e-mail me anytime and make appointment with me; though, they were very persistent in having the class, still.
What's wrong with them? I am really curious. Is it because they admire me too much so they couldn't bear to say goodbye to me? Am I really that charming? I apologise for my narcissism.
I really don't know what's wrong with kiddoes today anymore. I do not belong to their generation so I will never understand what's playing in their mind.
All I know is that - I still have a lot of classes to hold next week, the classes, which I have nothing left to teach. My original plan of taking a little break and start marking the piles of assignment gone.
However, I am thankful that I have students who are actually born with certain amount of initiative; that's the only element that keeps me going in teaching career.
For some reasons, I have A LOT of students who are very hardworking. Their impetuous spirit, passion and enthusiasm in acquiring knowledge stroke me.
When I was being nice and offered to just cancel the coming classes since I have nothing else to share anymore. They still insisted that they want to have the last class with me next week. I emphasized for millions times that I won't have any 'tips' or 'insider information' about the final exam already, they still determined to attend my class next week. I am totally done with the revision and so far they haven't raise any question cause they won't begin their revision within these few days until the study week really kick off. Though, they still want me to hold the classes next week.
I really wonder why. I have absolutely nothing to teach anymore next week so I decided to give them a chance to get lazy or going back to their hometown earlier and if they have ANY questions during study week, they can e-mail me anytime and make appointment with me; though, they were very persistent in having the class, still.
What's wrong with them? I am really curious. Is it because they admire me too much so they couldn't bear to say goodbye to me? Am I really that charming? I apologise for my narcissism.
I really don't know what's wrong with kiddoes today anymore. I do not belong to their generation so I will never understand what's playing in their mind.
All I know is that - I still have a lot of classes to hold next week, the classes, which I have nothing left to teach. My original plan of taking a little break and start marking the piles of assignment gone.
However, I am thankful that I have students who are actually born with certain amount of initiative; that's the only element that keeps me going in teaching career.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
生活
这是一个一直下雨的周末。雨水滴答滴答的响着，我觉得这种声音真的很悦耳。
近几个星期，我过得有些自闭，朋友们的邀约，我一律拒绝；静静的自己一个人抱着一叠叠的学生作业埋头苦改，更要为最后的几个星期做准备。大家一样是教书的，他们却可在周末大玩特玩， 我呢却永远有做不完的事情，薪金又是最低的。没办法，谁叫我不多读一点书。学历低的人永远都是要多做很多事情的。也好啦，就从中学习、提升自己，当做为未来的一种准备。不知不觉，我就这样慢慢被日常工作蹭得麻木了。
很多次，我都在愕然间觉得自己在快速的老去。虽然在学校里很多人都一致认为我是个学生； 尽管我在换上牛仔裤后去食堂买午餐时老板娘总是唤我‘girl girl’，我的心真的不断在迅速衰老。我像个老人般每天很早就起床， 在天很黑的时候开始嚼着面包、喝着咖啡。 随之就是梳洗打扮上班去。然后上课、工作、回家。每天都一样，静静实实的过着属于自己的日子。
很久才可以回一次家，这似乎并没有对我造成什么困扰。我平静的在这个小乡村过日子。向来无肉不欢的我倒也可以吃了几个月的净素，并乐在其中。 有时候想一下，我真的变了很多。似乎成长完毕，无欲无求、正式迈向老年。
回头看看踩过的旅程，突然觉得生命是一个大圈圈，很多时候我们奋力跑向终点，忽略了其实终点和起点都是相接的。人总需要经过一个大圈来理解这个道理。
鱼与熊掌不能兼得。很老的一句话却带出了最实在的道理。要得到这，必定得牺牲那。自然界的定义讲究公平。
人生真的还是简简单单的好。平凡是福。
近几个星期，我过得有些自闭，朋友们的邀约，我一律拒绝；静静的自己一个人抱着一叠叠的学生作业埋头苦改，更要为最后的几个星期做准备。大家一样是教书的，他们却可在周末大玩特玩， 我呢却永远有做不完的事情，薪金又是最低的。没办法，谁叫我不多读一点书。学历低的人永远都是要多做很多事情的。也好啦，就从中学习、提升自己，当做为未来的一种准备。不知不觉，我就这样慢慢被日常工作蹭得麻木了。
很多次，我都在愕然间觉得自己在快速的老去。虽然在学校里很多人都一致认为我是个学生； 尽管我在换上牛仔裤后去食堂买午餐时老板娘总是唤我‘girl girl’，我的心真的不断在迅速衰老。我像个老人般每天很早就起床， 在天很黑的时候开始嚼着面包、喝着咖啡。 随之就是梳洗打扮上班去。然后上课、工作、回家。每天都一样，静静实实的过着属于自己的日子。
很久才可以回一次家，这似乎并没有对我造成什么困扰。我平静的在这个小乡村过日子。向来无肉不欢的我倒也可以吃了几个月的净素，并乐在其中。 有时候想一下，我真的变了很多。似乎成长完毕，无欲无求、正式迈向老年。
回头看看踩过的旅程，突然觉得生命是一个大圈圈，很多时候我们奋力跑向终点，忽略了其实终点和起点都是相接的。人总需要经过一个大圈来理解这个道理。
鱼与熊掌不能兼得。很老的一句话却带出了最实在的道理。要得到这，必定得牺牲那。自然界的定义讲究公平。
人生真的还是简简单单的好。平凡是福。
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Professional help needed
Please tell me the ways to cope with my frustrastion. I mean, the efficient way. What you do when you are really angry until you feel like you couldn't take it no more?
I have fire burning inside me. What's wrong with the so-called university students today? What's wrong with our family structure and education system today? How parents raise their kids today?
Sheesh.
As quoted from my friends, "Let them be, ignore it." But how to ignore it when I am the one who is dealing with their attitudes and marking their tests papers and assignments?"
I need anger management classes before I burst out and kill somebody accidentally.
No wonder, many teachers die of cancer.
I have fire burning inside me. What's wrong with the so-called university students today? What's wrong with our family structure and education system today? How parents raise their kids today?
Sheesh.
As quoted from my friends, "Let them be, ignore it." But how to ignore it when I am the one who is dealing with their attitudes and marking their tests papers and assignments?"
I need anger management classes before I burst out and kill somebody accidentally.
No wonder, many teachers die of cancer.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Ignorance
It's been a while since I last bitched about anything. I didn't have anything to grumble about since I enjoy what I am doing right now at the moment. However, the encounters I have at this semester really put me into a lot of hair-pulling situations; no wonder, I am becoming balder and balder. Sometimes,the spoiled brats' attitudes can really drive you to the edge.
Let's introduce this group of 'stuff', 'Useless Trashes'. Why name them useless trash? This is because some of the junk or trashes still can be recycled but this bunch of trash are just trash, they are all smelly and rotten and completely useless. Their existence causes major pollution to the society. We have a lot of those in school, I had that kind of experience with this type of trash since I was studying in college, right now I am working under the same setting, so naturally have more experience with it. This bunch of useless trash couldn't speak their mother tongue because they grew up in a family which used another language at home or simply just pretended that they couldn't speak it, as they thought that it was way too embarrassing for them to converse in mother tongue. They were convinced that by speaking another language, their image will get upgraded.
Well, there is nothing wrong for somebody to not able to converse in mother tongue, who cares what language you speak anyways? The problem here is, this group of people are very proud of it; to a stage where they just stick together in one group, mocking at other students who couldn't speak well, refusing to work with other students or accept their opinions, insisted to just mix within their groups;thinking that they are superior than others cause they couldn't speak their mother tongue but a mouthful of 'Manglish'.
Useless trashes do not listen in class, at all because they thought they are better than average students. They will do their assignments according to their own ways because they think that theirs format is better than what being shown by the lecturers, they are like the utmost unique species in this world who will be able to excel in life, just because they are able to utter more 'Manglish' than regular students out there. The biggest issue here is-- they thought too highly of themselves, they were not that capable or talented besides able to speak just a little bit better than other students because they got used to the language since they were little. Other than that, they were nothing more than a piece of dysfunctional crap. They skipped the classes or when they do attend, they will try whatever way to make sure that they will be late for at least half an hour. They listened to I-pod, sending texts over cell phone for two hours or talked with their friends happily at the back, disturbing the progress of whole class.
So, what the hell? If you really think that you are THAT smart, then just freaking skip the classes, why bother to attend then talk and do shits behind? These are obviously some of the childish rebellion acts of teens. Come on, you all are not that YOUNG anymore. What's yours purpose in life? Are you all really that NAIVE by thinking that speak just a little bit better than the rest of the students will bring you victory in life? Jesus Christ!
Besides, they handed in really crappy assignments, thought they were able to cover all those flaws by using their so-called beautifully written piece. Unfortunately, it is impossible for you to get high marks when you didn't even fulfil the basic requirements. Stop dreaming!
The useless trashes all share a great similarity-- All of them were born with those kind of super annoying faces, which make you think that it is really hard for anybody to love them in their entire life. Glancing at those ignorant and not-so-pleasant looking face, I am able to picture the faces of those who raise them.
Please don't get me wrong, I have nothing against those people who not able to speak, read or write their mother tongue; matter of fact, I have plenty of nice friends who do not speak their mother tongues, I have nothing against these people, just like what I have mentioned earlier. I am just having problems with those people who are ignorant, dumb, narcissism, self-obsessed and not understand the meaning of 'being respectful'. Coincidentally, many of them with the mentioned characteristics appear to be the ones who were not able or refused to communicate in mother tongue because they thought it was a really shameful thing. I am sorry for the stereotype over here, I know that not all of you are like that; sadly, most of the non- mother tongue speakers I met fulfilled most of the bad qualities above.
Please, if you want to be cocky and cool and outstanding, kindly make sure that you actually have the ability or conditions(at least a little bit) to do so, at least, ditch your 'Manglish' because if that's the only language you speak but you still suck at it, that will be the most pathetic thing in this world.
Get the hell out of my class! Stop trashing around, I don't need you all.
Let's introduce this group of 'stuff', 'Useless Trashes'. Why name them useless trash? This is because some of the junk or trashes still can be recycled but this bunch of trash are just trash, they are all smelly and rotten and completely useless. Their existence causes major pollution to the society. We have a lot of those in school, I had that kind of experience with this type of trash since I was studying in college, right now I am working under the same setting, so naturally have more experience with it. This bunch of useless trash couldn't speak their mother tongue because they grew up in a family which used another language at home or simply just pretended that they couldn't speak it, as they thought that it was way too embarrassing for them to converse in mother tongue. They were convinced that by speaking another language, their image will get upgraded.
Well, there is nothing wrong for somebody to not able to converse in mother tongue, who cares what language you speak anyways? The problem here is, this group of people are very proud of it; to a stage where they just stick together in one group, mocking at other students who couldn't speak well, refusing to work with other students or accept their opinions, insisted to just mix within their groups;thinking that they are superior than others cause they couldn't speak their mother tongue but a mouthful of 'Manglish'.
Useless trashes do not listen in class, at all because they thought they are better than average students. They will do their assignments according to their own ways because they think that theirs format is better than what being shown by the lecturers, they are like the utmost unique species in this world who will be able to excel in life, just because they are able to utter more 'Manglish' than regular students out there. The biggest issue here is-- they thought too highly of themselves, they were not that capable or talented besides able to speak just a little bit better than other students because they got used to the language since they were little. Other than that, they were nothing more than a piece of dysfunctional crap. They skipped the classes or when they do attend, they will try whatever way to make sure that they will be late for at least half an hour. They listened to I-pod, sending texts over cell phone for two hours or talked with their friends happily at the back, disturbing the progress of whole class.
So, what the hell? If you really think that you are THAT smart, then just freaking skip the classes, why bother to attend then talk and do shits behind? These are obviously some of the childish rebellion acts of teens. Come on, you all are not that YOUNG anymore. What's yours purpose in life? Are you all really that NAIVE by thinking that speak just a little bit better than the rest of the students will bring you victory in life? Jesus Christ!
Besides, they handed in really crappy assignments, thought they were able to cover all those flaws by using their so-called beautifully written piece. Unfortunately, it is impossible for you to get high marks when you didn't even fulfil the basic requirements. Stop dreaming!
The useless trashes all share a great similarity-- All of them were born with those kind of super annoying faces, which make you think that it is really hard for anybody to love them in their entire life. Glancing at those ignorant and not-so-pleasant looking face, I am able to picture the faces of those who raise them.
Please don't get me wrong, I have nothing against those people who not able to speak, read or write their mother tongue; matter of fact, I have plenty of nice friends who do not speak their mother tongues, I have nothing against these people, just like what I have mentioned earlier. I am just having problems with those people who are ignorant, dumb, narcissism, self-obsessed and not understand the meaning of 'being respectful'. Coincidentally, many of them with the mentioned characteristics appear to be the ones who were not able or refused to communicate in mother tongue because they thought it was a really shameful thing. I am sorry for the stereotype over here, I know that not all of you are like that; sadly, most of the non- mother tongue speakers I met fulfilled most of the bad qualities above.
Please, if you want to be cocky and cool and outstanding, kindly make sure that you actually have the ability or conditions(at least a little bit) to do so, at least, ditch your 'Manglish' because if that's the only language you speak but you still suck at it, that will be the most pathetic thing in this world.
Get the hell out of my class! Stop trashing around, I don't need you all.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
The Legend
He has Gone.
No, I am not writing this piece to mourn about his death.
Unlike those dramatic people who decided to worship the 'King of Pop' right after his death, I am not an "overnight Jacko fan"; matter of fact, I do not even belong to the Michael Jackson Era. When I was old enough develop the preference towards music, he was already popular for being an extreme plastic surgery addict who seemed to have weird preference towards children. He was depicted badly in the newspaper and my parents' comments about him were fairly consistent --"pervert, psycho".
Though, for some reasons, my elder brother loved him a lot and had his music played in the radio from time to time. He owned many of his early cassettes and used to tell me how awesome the King was in doing the world renowned moon walk. I was too young to understand what he was uttering about and misinterpreted it as 'somebody who walked on moon, like astronaut." However, the music of the song, "Black or White' kept lingering in my mind after first listening to it, I was only eight. Of course, I was too young to understand the lyric and what not. My perception about Michael Jackson at that moment remained as : "an astronaut who sings well, but was regarded as a freak by my parents."
Many years later, I turned into a troubled teenager. One day, I saw his 'The Earth Song' MV from TV. It stroke me. The video and the lyric were just purely fascinating. I hated the world that time as I thought that nothing in this world seem to be fair and I bore grudge towards all of the human species. So, the song just clicked easily. After that, I tried to borrow his songs in whatever forms from different sources, and also checked all of the songs' lyrics online (I am thankful for the invention of Internet!). Finally, I was able to understand the meanings behind those songs;he was trying to vent all the frustrations and injustice by his powerful voice. That was definitely hard and he was the first one who have done it so well.
His problem with plastic surgery aroused my curiosity. I obsessed with analyzing people's behaviors for a period of time so he became the subject I constantly googled at. Then, I got to know his background, his sad childhood and abusive parent. There is always a reason behind. Parents always are the one who has full power to shape the kids.
Perhaps, he never really loved by anybody. Perhaps, he never get to know his real identity, perhaps, he belonged to the stage but he got lost in it.
Obviously, he was a victim of his talent. Probably his soul is happy right now as after the exposure of his scandals, this is the only time the millions 'fans' climbing out from every corner of the planet, mourning about his death with media covering all of his achievements and good deeds.
How about the family who fights for money, property and children custody?
Well, it's a regret, I guess. An icon who owned the world;his life was like the shooting star.
'Man In the Mirror', 'The Earth Song', 'Black or White', 'They don't Care about Us' and 'Bad' are my top five favourite.
Unlike those dramatic people who decided to worship the 'King of Pop' right after his death, I am not an "overnight Jacko fan"; matter of fact, I do not even belong to the Michael Jackson Era. When I was old enough develop the preference towards music, he was already popular for being an extreme plastic surgery addict who seemed to have weird preference towards children. He was depicted badly in the newspaper and my parents' comments about him were fairly consistent --"pervert, psycho".
Though, for some reasons, my elder brother loved him a lot and had his music played in the radio from time to time. He owned many of his early cassettes and used to tell me how awesome the King was in doing the world renowned moon walk. I was too young to understand what he was uttering about and misinterpreted it as 'somebody who walked on moon, like astronaut." However, the music of the song, "Black or White' kept lingering in my mind after first listening to it, I was only eight. Of course, I was too young to understand the lyric and what not. My perception about Michael Jackson at that moment remained as : "an astronaut who sings well, but was regarded as a freak by my parents."
Many years later, I turned into a troubled teenager. One day, I saw his 'The Earth Song' MV from TV. It stroke me. The video and the lyric were just purely fascinating. I hated the world that time as I thought that nothing in this world seem to be fair and I bore grudge towards all of the human species. So, the song just clicked easily. After that, I tried to borrow his songs in whatever forms from different sources, and also checked all of the songs' lyrics online (I am thankful for the invention of Internet!). Finally, I was able to understand the meanings behind those songs;he was trying to vent all the frustrations and injustice by his powerful voice. That was definitely hard and he was the first one who have done it so well.
His problem with plastic surgery aroused my curiosity. I obsessed with analyzing people's behaviors for a period of time so he became the subject I constantly googled at. Then, I got to know his background, his sad childhood and abusive parent. There is always a reason behind. Parents always are the one who has full power to shape the kids.
Perhaps, he never really loved by anybody. Perhaps, he never get to know his real identity, perhaps, he belonged to the stage but he got lost in it.
Obviously, he was a victim of his talent. Probably his soul is happy right now as after the exposure of his scandals, this is the only time the millions 'fans' climbing out from every corner of the planet, mourning about his death with media covering all of his achievements and good deeds.
How about the family who fights for money, property and children custody?
Well, it's a regret, I guess. An icon who owned the world;his life was like the shooting star.
'Man In the Mirror', 'The Earth Song', 'Black or White', 'They don't Care about Us' and 'Bad' are my top five favourite.
Go listen. They are the best! By the way, I scratched my car's back at the day he passed. This is just random, I don't know why I am bringing it up here.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Good Quote for the day
The animals of the world exist for their own reasons. They were not made for humans any
more than black people were made for whites,or women for men.
~Alice Walker, "The Color of Purple"
Sinful. Sinful. Humans are evil.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
槟城
好久都没有那种提起相机到处捕捉镜头的闲情逸致了。不知道为什么, 很长的一段时间, 即使身处异地、置身于人间美景, 我也可以不为所动; 处之泰然的放弃收集珍贵回忆的一切机会。
就在五月一日劳动节的那个周末,我竟意想不到的重拾了到处捕猎美景的兴趣。住在槟城的好友盛情邀请我到她家一同共度假期。我想了一想,与其在金宝独自一个人孤苦伶仃, 倒不如去探望一位多年不见的特别朋友。安排好了交通，我就兴奋的在劳动节前夕向槟城出发，开始了我的探友叙旧之旅程。
距离上一次的拜访已有十五年之久，因此对于槟城的记忆并不清晰。这次有机会旧地重游，我还真的是获益不浅叻！模糊的回忆里记载着槟城是座历史悠久、繁荣蓬勃的大城市，殊不知浓浓的英国殖民地气息还是在槟岛里处处可闻。很多街道上的路牌都还是以英文命名；古老的英式建筑更是遍布满城。
更妙的是这里以华人居多，各色各样的民族文化更是显而易见。很多古色古香的高龄中式老屋都被视为文化遗产，列为历史古迹。中西极端的交流促成了一种强烈特色。尽入眼帘的百年景观还真的有点让我惊讶！心中不禁好奇着一百年前的这里什么人曾经入住过，他们遗留下了什么样的故事。
废话少说，照片自有解释。
就在五月一日劳动节的那个周末,我竟意想不到的重拾了到处捕猎美景的兴趣。住在槟城的好友盛情邀请我到她家一同共度假期。我想了一想,与其在金宝独自一个人孤苦伶仃, 倒不如去探望一位多年不见的特别朋友。安排好了交通，我就兴奋的在劳动节前夕向槟城出发，开始了我的探友叙旧之旅程。
距离上一次的拜访已有十五年之久，因此对于槟城的记忆并不清晰。这次有机会旧地重游，我还真的是获益不浅叻！模糊的回忆里记载着槟城是座历史悠久、繁荣蓬勃的大城市，殊不知浓浓的英国殖民地气息还是在槟岛里处处可闻。很多街道上的路牌都还是以英文命名；古老的英式建筑更是遍布满城。
更妙的是这里以华人居多，各色各样的民族文化更是显而易见。很多古色古香的高龄中式老屋都被视为文化遗产，列为历史古迹。中西极端的交流促成了一种强烈特色。尽入眼帘的百年景观还真的有点让我惊讶！心中不禁好奇着一百年前的这里什么人曾经入住过，他们遗留下了什么样的故事。
废话少说，照片自有解释。
极乐寺，攀登宝塔、香汗淋漓。
睡佛，虔诚膜拜﹑点一盏合家灯。
风水屋，中华精髓；老旧教堂，歌颂天主；娘惹纪念馆，文化交接。
鲜花、娇艳；海湾、祥和。
槟城美食多，鱼腥味逼人的‘拉沙’叫我不敢恭维。‘沙士’味的红豆冰却令我赞不绝口。六块钱的昂贵炒粿条带不出一点槟岛招牌气息。令人最感动的是和老友相聚的时刻。谢谢你喔，芊芹！成年老酒的芬芳永远令人回味无穷。
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Somewhere over the rainbow
No matter how time changes, he will always be the only one contestant, who is able to impress me that much. The thrill still rises from my heart after listening to his version of the song for more than 100 times.
It is plain beautiful.
I am touched.
It is plain beautiful.
I am touched.
Friday, May 15, 2009
决裂
从来没有想过一位至情的家人竟然可以这么无情。
就为了一个停车位，他竟然对我大喊大叫，还动手打我。假若妈妈没有动手阻止，我可能已经倒地了吧？自小到大，原来我无论如何的尊敬和崇拜及对你好，你完全没有察觉。你残酷的以怨恨回报。我毅然的发觉所谓的亲情真的是假的。我真的怀疑，世界上还有任何真的东西吗？
手腕上的血痕隐隐灼痛，但是这一切比不上心头的撕痛。棰心泣血这句话我常用，但这却是第一次真真切切的了解到那种感觉。现在，我开始讨厌这句成语，真的很讨厌。
我想起了小时候我们在花园里一起捉蚯蚓的时刻，还有你骑着脚车载我到处兜风的时候。我们一起嘻嘻大笑，在夕阳西下的时候一同回家。那一切都是真的，但这一刻的我却无法相信。 可能很多我们的回忆都是我在绝望痛苦中自己捏造出来的吧。
我们的情已尽。我还天真的以为亲情是唯一无条件永恒的。我真的太幼稚了。
我彻底绝望。原来，一直以来，我都是孤单的一个人。
就为了一个停车位，他竟然对我大喊大叫，还动手打我。假若妈妈没有动手阻止，我可能已经倒地了吧？自小到大，原来我无论如何的尊敬和崇拜及对你好，你完全没有察觉。你残酷的以怨恨回报。我毅然的发觉所谓的亲情真的是假的。我真的怀疑，世界上还有任何真的东西吗？
手腕上的血痕隐隐灼痛，但是这一切比不上心头的撕痛。棰心泣血这句话我常用，但这却是第一次真真切切的了解到那种感觉。现在，我开始讨厌这句成语，真的很讨厌。
我想起了小时候我们在花园里一起捉蚯蚓的时刻，还有你骑着脚车载我到处兜风的时候。我们一起嘻嘻大笑，在夕阳西下的时候一同回家。那一切都是真的，但这一刻的我却无法相信。 可能很多我们的回忆都是我在绝望痛苦中自己捏造出来的吧。
我们的情已尽。我还天真的以为亲情是唯一无条件永恒的。我真的太幼稚了。
我彻底绝望。原来，一直以来，我都是孤单的一个人。
Saturday, May 09, 2009
My kiddoes
Remember those times when you and your classmates requesting to shoot a class photo with the lecturer or tutor at the end of the school semester?
I never thought that I will be the 'lead character' in a class, standing in the center;appearing as the focus of the whole picture.
I never thought that I will be the 'lead character' in a class, standing in the center;appearing as the focus of the whole picture.
So, a semester ended, in the twinkling of an eye.
Gosh! I couldn't believe it. Without any relevant experience, I stood in front of the students, teaching them about something that I wasn't so sure of. Surprisingly, I made it and most of the kids 'seemed' to be able to appreciate my guidance. (Well, on the surface, only God knows what they had been talking about behind my back, hehe, I was a student not too long ago, I know how they are!)
Anyways, it wasn't a bad semester, the journey yielded a harvest of wonderful memories. It was the greatest sense of satisfaction so far! :)
Monday, May 04, 2009
Mother's Day
Recently, my friends have been talking about celebration for this coming Mother's Day. As usual, I will be away from home during this special occasion; I won't be able to join the bandwagon in getting bird nest for mother or dine out with my whole family at a restaurant. Sheesh, what a shame! Anyways, like what Lampfly said,
"I think this kind of occasion is not really relevant. The utmost important thing is to be nice to your mother every single day, then only it's real."
I guess at the moment, I will need to believe that statement in order to ease my heart! However, her words made sense, I guess.
Being a mother is the toughest job in this whole universe, we have to be grateful and thankful toward the selfless person who brought us into this world and devoted herself entirely in raising us up. Talking about motherhood, suddenly I remember that I had some sort of similar experience in that area. I was a 'mother' of five!
"I think this kind of occasion is not really relevant. The utmost important thing is to be nice to your mother every single day, then only it's real."
I guess at the moment, I will need to believe that statement in order to ease my heart! However, her words made sense, I guess.
Being a mother is the toughest job in this whole universe, we have to be grateful and thankful toward the selfless person who brought us into this world and devoted herself entirely in raising us up. Talking about motherhood, suddenly I remember that I had some sort of similar experience in that area. I was a 'mother' of five!
Memory came sudden and swirled, once in a blue moon, the passed moments would pop out in your mind, reminding you about the days you thought you have forgotten. My previous counselor told me that aupair will just be one of the passers-by for those children, it is hard for them to remember anything about the aupair after a while; however, the kids will remain in the aupairs' heart forever owing to the care and real love provided by the caretaker.
When you are so used to 'give', that's the time for the real love to grow inside your heart.
Recapturing back those times, it could be really hard. Nonetheless, be it the goods or bads, fortunate or unfortunate, I am able to just laugh about it right now as I got to know more about life through the role of a 'mother'.
That kind of precious experience won't be able to repeat and seriously I don't want to have it repeated, too! It is just nice to have it once.
Anyways, Happy Mother's Day to all wonderful mothers in this world! :)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The Haunting
I stay at the so-called dorm/hostel near the school I work with as it is fully furnished and easy for me to get to my office everyday. Even though I am surrounded by students and paying more than the market price over here, I still like it here as it is safe and convenient if you compare to other places.
After residing here for several months, I realize that something just does not seem to be right.
Please have a look at the picture below:
After residing here for several months, I realize that something just does not seem to be right.
Please have a look at the picture below:
This is the building right behind my room. I took the picture from my room's window. The building is empty as none of the students occupy the rooms for some reasons. In fact, the building looks no different from mine; however I have witnessed some abnormal phenomenon for quite a few times.
The empty rooms, normally the left one on top and also the right one at the first floor would have their lights turned on at night for no reasons. It doesn't happen everyday but just once in a while, generally on weekend when everybody here have gone back to hometown for family time.
No, nobody is staying there and I do not think that the people from the management office or security guards would go there in the middle of the night to just 'enlighten' the rooms.
It was a Saturday late night when I fist discovering that, I was curious at first, wanting to find out if anybody had moved in but obviously, there was no sign of new tenants since the windows were still locked. It was spooky. I pulled the curtains and continue marking the paper while the heart was pumping fast.
Then, my mind ran wild. I started imagining about 'something else' that might be staying there then.
As expected, I had a sleepless night. Though luckily, so far nothing scary took place (*touch wood/*knock on the wood).
Generally, the lights would go off 'automatically' before morning. I braced up myself to make a 'close' observation' through the window two weeks ago. The lights went on from 11 something at night.I turned in around 3am, the lights were still on. There was no noise, no shadow, nothing, just pure silence with lights.
Sometimes, I think I am superstitious and overly imaginative. I should not think too much and I have never killed or inflicted death on anybody. There should be nothing I shall worry about.
Many unexplained complications hail from the heart.
Friday, April 24, 2009
想当年
今早悠闲的准备上班时, 一位失去联络了五六年的朋友竟奇迹般的捎来了一些亲切的问候语。我有些惊讶； 受宠若惊之感不禁油然而生。
在短短的几分钟客套话之后，一段断了线的友谊在瞬间得到了重生的机会。我们聊着彼此的近况， 不约而同的为对方的生活感到高兴。谈话间也不可避免的触及了昔日的同伴们， 因而获知了不少令人意外的消息。时间过得好快，岁月真的不饶人。大家在毕业各分东西失去联络后的变动真的很大。不过，值得庆幸的是多数的人都还过得不错；唯独当日年少轻狂的赤子之心已荡然无存。但是，一同拥有的疯狂回忆总有些会记录在泛黄青春期的某处吧？很多时候我们只需要花些心思打开记忆的按钮，抛在脑后的往事就会一幕幕浮现。
这位‘奇迹朋友’我至七岁那年便认识了。我们入读同一间小学之后升上同一间中学，都被分配在同一班。高中毕业之后也选读同一间大学﹑更住在宿舍里的同一层楼。认识了这么多年，和她感情最好的时候却是在初中。 那时傻傻的她会很早到学校，呆呆的我就会特地早去上学，然后和她坐在食堂里天南地北的乱谈一番；她也会特意从学校顶着大太阳步行到我家，让我帮她胡乱设计发型。当时的我们拼了老命的要耍酷而滥用发胶和吹风筒。不过，说真的，有时候效果是不错啦！
当时的我们还热衷于创意设计鞋带，我们会利用课余或上课的时间交换心得，分享我们看到或意外研发的‘最酷’鞋带绑法。我们也会和另一些同样轻狂的友人一起讲别人的闲话﹑像傻婆一样的乱笑﹑气哭老师﹑逃课﹑挑嬉书呆子男生及参与很多‘阿莲’少女会做的事情。不过，我们可不是什么都不会的‘飞女’叻！我们这群人可都是精英班数一数二的人才哟！叛逆的心应该每一个少年人们都有吧。更何况我们并没有杀人放火， 成绩还是好好的，老师们才拿我们没法子嘞！
感情既然这么好为什么会失去联络呢？
说实话，我并不清楚。可能这就是人性吧！
记忆中，我们从来都没有什么冲突。小小的不悦与争执自然难免但若要到积恨而远离彼此的地步绝对没有。仔细的想了想，彼此的隔阂是从大学开始，那个时候大家都有了新朋友， 开始了不同的生活圈子。距离因此而来。大家应该都在猜忌，觉得人人都变，变得不在乎旧朋友了，不再需要对方了。就这样，把手一放， 珍贵的友情掉了。
然而，我们当时并不觉得可惜因为年轻的我们总认为没了这个朋友没关系，我还有一大群新朋友叻！至到有一天，人生开始有了历练，自己的心里才会发觉友情真的是酒，好酒越久越醇。要拥有二十个嘻嘻哈哈的朋友很容易，不过要找个了解你并拥有共同回忆的人真的比登天还难。
朋友告诉我她和往日的同伴那天还驱车去我中学时代住的旧家，想要找我叙旧， 不过找不着因为我早在几年前搬了。我听了真的吓了一跳，我真的重没想过在经过重重误会﹑重伤和多年后的今天还有人会记得我。内心难免有些感动。
她说她很想念我妈妈所煮的糖水和点心，我嘴角顿时往上扬。
心里觉得暖暖的。
人最需要的是学会放开一切的怨恨。就记得那些美好的部分不就够了吗？
这是我和我朋友的故事，与你共勉之。
在短短的几分钟客套话之后，一段断了线的友谊在瞬间得到了重生的机会。我们聊着彼此的近况， 不约而同的为对方的生活感到高兴。谈话间也不可避免的触及了昔日的同伴们， 因而获知了不少令人意外的消息。时间过得好快，岁月真的不饶人。大家在毕业各分东西失去联络后的变动真的很大。不过，值得庆幸的是多数的人都还过得不错；唯独当日年少轻狂的赤子之心已荡然无存。但是，一同拥有的疯狂回忆总有些会记录在泛黄青春期的某处吧？很多时候我们只需要花些心思打开记忆的按钮，抛在脑后的往事就会一幕幕浮现。
这位‘奇迹朋友’我至七岁那年便认识了。我们入读同一间小学之后升上同一间中学，都被分配在同一班。高中毕业之后也选读同一间大学﹑更住在宿舍里的同一层楼。认识了这么多年，和她感情最好的时候却是在初中。 那时傻傻的她会很早到学校，呆呆的我就会特地早去上学，然后和她坐在食堂里天南地北的乱谈一番；她也会特意从学校顶着大太阳步行到我家，让我帮她胡乱设计发型。当时的我们拼了老命的要耍酷而滥用发胶和吹风筒。不过，说真的，有时候效果是不错啦！
当时的我们还热衷于创意设计鞋带，我们会利用课余或上课的时间交换心得，分享我们看到或意外研发的‘最酷’鞋带绑法。我们也会和另一些同样轻狂的友人一起讲别人的闲话﹑像傻婆一样的乱笑﹑气哭老师﹑逃课﹑挑嬉书呆子男生及参与很多‘阿莲’少女会做的事情。不过，我们可不是什么都不会的‘飞女’叻！我们这群人可都是精英班数一数二的人才哟！叛逆的心应该每一个少年人们都有吧。更何况我们并没有杀人放火， 成绩还是好好的，老师们才拿我们没法子嘞！
感情既然这么好为什么会失去联络呢？
说实话，我并不清楚。可能这就是人性吧！
记忆中，我们从来都没有什么冲突。小小的不悦与争执自然难免但若要到积恨而远离彼此的地步绝对没有。仔细的想了想，彼此的隔阂是从大学开始，那个时候大家都有了新朋友， 开始了不同的生活圈子。距离因此而来。大家应该都在猜忌，觉得人人都变，变得不在乎旧朋友了，不再需要对方了。就这样，把手一放， 珍贵的友情掉了。
然而，我们当时并不觉得可惜因为年轻的我们总认为没了这个朋友没关系，我还有一大群新朋友叻！至到有一天，人生开始有了历练，自己的心里才会发觉友情真的是酒，好酒越久越醇。要拥有二十个嘻嘻哈哈的朋友很容易，不过要找个了解你并拥有共同回忆的人真的比登天还难。
朋友告诉我她和往日的同伴那天还驱车去我中学时代住的旧家，想要找我叙旧， 不过找不着因为我早在几年前搬了。我听了真的吓了一跳，我真的重没想过在经过重重误会﹑重伤和多年后的今天还有人会记得我。内心难免有些感动。
她说她很想念我妈妈所煮的糖水和点心，我嘴角顿时往上扬。
心里觉得暖暖的。
人最需要的是学会放开一切的怨恨。就记得那些美好的部分不就够了吗？
这是我和我朋友的故事，与你共勉之。
Saturday, April 04, 2009
这个夜晚
这个夜晚有点痛。若你问我有多痛？ 我无法去衡量。只知道自己呆呆的坐在地上， 傻了似的看着湿湿的瓷砖。
眼泪流了好几个小时，从眼角一直到脖子，没有间断过。感觉上好像很难过，不过无法哭出任何声音。
四周又很不巧静静地，真是另一个容易让人感到惆怅的时刻。
那天刚看完由江角真纪子所主演的《爱情革命》，觉得女主角在剧中所说的一席话特别有意思。她道：
“每个女人的鞋柜里总有一双不合脚的鞋。这双鞋往往非常美观但是在逼自己穿上时却非常不舒服﹑脚趾和脚更总被磨破而疼痛不已。 但是，女人却绝对不舍将它丢弃，天真的相信在多穿几次就会合脚，结果双脚白白受罪了好长的一段时间。最终，固执的女人还是会把鞋子留下，因为深信并等待着那虚幻的‘总有一天’。”
人真的很喜欢自欺欺人。
没人比我更了解我自己。我只要把悲伤流露出来，睡个好觉， 明天依然是美好的。
眼泪流了好几个小时，从眼角一直到脖子，没有间断过。感觉上好像很难过，不过无法哭出任何声音。
四周又很不巧静静地，真是另一个容易让人感到惆怅的时刻。
那天刚看完由江角真纪子所主演的《爱情革命》，觉得女主角在剧中所说的一席话特别有意思。她道：
“每个女人的鞋柜里总有一双不合脚的鞋。这双鞋往往非常美观但是在逼自己穿上时却非常不舒服﹑脚趾和脚更总被磨破而疼痛不已。 但是，女人却绝对不舍将它丢弃，天真的相信在多穿几次就会合脚，结果双脚白白受罪了好长的一段时间。最终，固执的女人还是会把鞋子留下，因为深信并等待着那虚幻的‘总有一天’。”
人真的很喜欢自欺欺人。
没人比我更了解我自己。我只要把悲伤流露出来，睡个好觉， 明天依然是美好的。
Monday, March 30, 2009
Five Years
Recently, several people shot me with the same question--" So, what do you see yourself in five years?"
The Question seems to be simple but actually it is not easy to answer. It concerns about your future plan and what you would like to achieve in five years. Obviously, everybody think that I am OLD enough to have a decent plan for myself, in terms of direction in life and also career development. I wasn't able to give the answer right on the spot, my mind raced in search for correct answer, wondering about the BIG accomplishments I ought to have after turning 30.
However, the people who questioned have their goals set in their mind already. As such, they are able to list down whatever they want to achieve in five years while I was doing the thinking.
My colleague, Nen, is a very pretty lady. She is 27 years old at the moment and is busying planning to get married with someone special before turning 30. She said that she is yearning for a settled life, having own family and stable career. As such, her vision in 5 years will be getting married, having a happy family with some children and then maybe furthering study in PHD so that can have a greater promotion at work. However, right now she doesn't have a suitable life partner yet, so she is working hard to get one. Though, I don't think she will need to worry about anything because her cute face can simple attract guys to got in line, waiting patiently for the chance to date her. But, the problem remains since it is really hard to get the RIGHT one nowadays.
My silly housemate, Josephine , who is also 27 years old, happens to be the luckiest woman in this world. She is married to a husband who treats her as if she was the utmost precious diamond in this whole universe. Having a fulfilling and wonderful marriage, she noted that in five years, she would like to obtain her PHD title so that people will address her Dr. Kuah. Besides, her ultimate dream is to open a big private kindergarten where she will be the principal, handling the management and business but not teaching. She would hire a lot of young teachers to do it so that she can earn a lot of money in a very relax manner. Meanwhile, she can start planning having her own babies as it will be easier for her to just place the kids she has at her kindergarten after raising them to a certain age. She can be hilarious sometimes but she is a undoubtedly a very persistent fighter. In this case, I think her vision should not be too hard to achieve.
Dr. Yeoh, the great assistant professor claimed that he would want to become a real Professor in five years, earning more than 10K salary every month and enjoying life at a nice foreign land like New Zealand. Well, seriously, for someone as experienced as him, the so-called plan is just a piece of cake. His salary is very close to 10K right now. In addition, he has a lot of experience teaching overseas. His qualification is good enough to be accepted anywhere in this world. So, again, for him, this is something that will definitely happen in the coming future. He will certainly achieve his plan in five years.
How about me?
I think at my age, which is not that youthful anymore, I should have some 'mature' plans in life, too. So, after thinking for a while, I think I have a list of things that I would like to accomplish in five years so that I can be whom I want to be afterwards.
I would like to first, obtain a master degree from a good university so that I can officially being promoted to lecturer. Secondly, I would like to clear all the debts I have, I owed a huge sum of money to government, friend and also family members. Thirdly, I want to sponsor my parents to trips, at least once a year besides able to give them some pocket money every month. Forth, I want to settle down, too, get married and have my own family but no kids yet! Fifth, I would like to pursue my PHD after my master degree. Sixth, I want to realise my 'flying' dream-- fly high in the sky. Yeah, travel at least once a year to foreign place, let's start from Japan!
I think, my plans are a bit not realistic. Anyways, somebody told me that we have to always set the goals high so that when we couldn't achieve the vision completely, at least the result we have won't fall too far away from the goals we set at first.
So, let's start from the first step, furthering my master study! I have been planning and working on it! Wish me luck.
How about you? What do you see yourself in five years?
Whatever you have wished for, I believe that you can do it, just trust yourself and look up the self-fulfilling prophecy theory! Yeah!
The Question seems to be simple but actually it is not easy to answer. It concerns about your future plan and what you would like to achieve in five years. Obviously, everybody think that I am OLD enough to have a decent plan for myself, in terms of direction in life and also career development. I wasn't able to give the answer right on the spot, my mind raced in search for correct answer, wondering about the BIG accomplishments I ought to have after turning 30.
However, the people who questioned have their goals set in their mind already. As such, they are able to list down whatever they want to achieve in five years while I was doing the thinking.
My colleague, Nen, is a very pretty lady. She is 27 years old at the moment and is busying planning to get married with someone special before turning 30. She said that she is yearning for a settled life, having own family and stable career. As such, her vision in 5 years will be getting married, having a happy family with some children and then maybe furthering study in PHD so that can have a greater promotion at work. However, right now she doesn't have a suitable life partner yet, so she is working hard to get one. Though, I don't think she will need to worry about anything because her cute face can simple attract guys to got in line, waiting patiently for the chance to date her. But, the problem remains since it is really hard to get the RIGHT one nowadays.
My silly housemate, Josephine , who is also 27 years old, happens to be the luckiest woman in this world. She is married to a husband who treats her as if she was the utmost precious diamond in this whole universe. Having a fulfilling and wonderful marriage, she noted that in five years, she would like to obtain her PHD title so that people will address her Dr. Kuah. Besides, her ultimate dream is to open a big private kindergarten where she will be the principal, handling the management and business but not teaching. She would hire a lot of young teachers to do it so that she can earn a lot of money in a very relax manner. Meanwhile, she can start planning having her own babies as it will be easier for her to just place the kids she has at her kindergarten after raising them to a certain age. She can be hilarious sometimes but she is a undoubtedly a very persistent fighter. In this case, I think her vision should not be too hard to achieve.
Dr. Yeoh, the great assistant professor claimed that he would want to become a real Professor in five years, earning more than 10K salary every month and enjoying life at a nice foreign land like New Zealand. Well, seriously, for someone as experienced as him, the so-called plan is just a piece of cake. His salary is very close to 10K right now. In addition, he has a lot of experience teaching overseas. His qualification is good enough to be accepted anywhere in this world. So, again, for him, this is something that will definitely happen in the coming future. He will certainly achieve his plan in five years.
How about me?
I think at my age, which is not that youthful anymore, I should have some 'mature' plans in life, too. So, after thinking for a while, I think I have a list of things that I would like to accomplish in five years so that I can be whom I want to be afterwards.
I would like to first, obtain a master degree from a good university so that I can officially being promoted to lecturer. Secondly, I would like to clear all the debts I have, I owed a huge sum of money to government, friend and also family members. Thirdly, I want to sponsor my parents to trips, at least once a year besides able to give them some pocket money every month. Forth, I want to settle down, too, get married and have my own family but no kids yet! Fifth, I would like to pursue my PHD after my master degree. Sixth, I want to realise my 'flying' dream-- fly high in the sky. Yeah, travel at least once a year to foreign place, let's start from Japan!
I think, my plans are a bit not realistic. Anyways, somebody told me that we have to always set the goals high so that when we couldn't achieve the vision completely, at least the result we have won't fall too far away from the goals we set at first.
So, let's start from the first step, furthering my master study! I have been planning and working on it! Wish me luck.
How about you? What do you see yourself in five years?
Whatever you have wished for, I believe that you can do it, just trust yourself and look up the self-fulfilling prophecy theory! Yeah!
Friday, March 27, 2009
一封信
给一位特别的朋友：
我知道你不可能会上来我的“布洛格”读这封信。你应该不知道我有这样的一个‘自我’空间。但是，我还是很想把心中的一些话写下。不为什么，也许只想记下这特别的一天。
谢谢你对我的绝对信任与依赖；虽然我压根儿帮不上任何忙，却万分的乐意借你我聆听的耳朵。我并没有资格给予任何肯定对的答案因为事事都没有绝对，我们都处在一个灰色地带， 所谓的对跟错只有我们自己可以定论。
今天听到了你有所决定，我真的很为你高兴。虽然很有可能你在通知我的下一秒就开始再次犹豫﹑举棋不定，可是，无论如何，我还是要献上最真的祝福。这可是你在向我倾诉了一段日子后第一次有了一个明确决定，所以这算是一种进步吧？
人都要经历很多才能有所成长，而你在异国奋战的这几个岁月里肯定能明显的发现自己心态上的改变吧。我虽然认识你有一段时间了，但真正和你的心有点靠近却在不久前。很好笑叻！也许是那充满人体极限挑战的艰难夏季给了我们友谊升华的一个机会吧。不过，我们真正的心灵交会却是在我回流后所得到的意外收获。你让我应証了真情无界限的道理，谢谢你喔！
无论如何，在你做下慎重决定的这一天，我在我狂妄的个人空间为你记下了这一页。梦想一定要去追求，但不要坚持用同一种方式。很多时候，盲目追寻的当儿我们却忘了就在弹指间的幸福。
我帮你立下一个新目标—‘二零零九年的你一定要在做下决定后获得重生，体验真正的快乐’。
相信我，这真的不会很难。加油。
一位奇怪的朋友，
诗笳 敬上
我知道你不可能会上来我的“布洛格”读这封信。你应该不知道我有这样的一个‘自我’空间。但是，我还是很想把心中的一些话写下。不为什么，也许只想记下这特别的一天。
谢谢你对我的绝对信任与依赖；虽然我压根儿帮不上任何忙，却万分的乐意借你我聆听的耳朵。我并没有资格给予任何肯定对的答案因为事事都没有绝对，我们都处在一个灰色地带， 所谓的对跟错只有我们自己可以定论。
今天听到了你有所决定，我真的很为你高兴。虽然很有可能你在通知我的下一秒就开始再次犹豫﹑举棋不定，可是，无论如何，我还是要献上最真的祝福。这可是你在向我倾诉了一段日子后第一次有了一个明确决定，所以这算是一种进步吧？
人都要经历很多才能有所成长，而你在异国奋战的这几个岁月里肯定能明显的发现自己心态上的改变吧。我虽然认识你有一段时间了，但真正和你的心有点靠近却在不久前。很好笑叻！也许是那充满人体极限挑战的艰难夏季给了我们友谊升华的一个机会吧。不过，我们真正的心灵交会却是在我回流后所得到的意外收获。你让我应証了真情无界限的道理，谢谢你喔！
无论如何，在你做下慎重决定的这一天，我在我狂妄的个人空间为你记下了这一页。梦想一定要去追求，但不要坚持用同一种方式。很多时候，盲目追寻的当儿我们却忘了就在弹指间的幸福。
我帮你立下一个新目标—‘二零零九年的你一定要在做下决定后获得重生，体验真正的快乐’。
相信我，这真的不会很难。加油。
一位奇怪的朋友，
诗笳 敬上
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
keep flying
The best thing about staying at a deserted area which is super far away from home is, you can save a lot of money because you won't be able to travel back to home as usual as others. You save a lot from gas.
So, at your spare time, especially during the weekend, you tend to just hop in car and drive around the town that has nothing to offer. It is hard for you to spend money when you can't even find a theater or any other decent shops around the area. As such, I think I am richer than those who will just simply pass by ten big shopping malls on their way back from work.
You are so freaking free on the weekend, to a stage where you start developing 'weekend phobia' because you will be the only soul in the whole house, left with nothing to do and nobody to talk with, besides grazing on notes, preparing the coming classes and getting pissed at some old maid who is clinically proven to be a psychopath.
Then, you started to question yourself about the decision you made about accepting the job and moving here.
Though, recapturing the moments I have in class and also some lovely students that I have, I realised that it was a right decision. I love teaching, I love the attention people have on me when I speak in front of the class. No, I am not an attention whore, I just love the feeling of sharing my knowledge in front of the kiddoes who are interested in learning.
I am thankful for accepting the offer because in someways, it helps me to obtain the direction in life. I like to teach and I really enjoying sharing experience. This is a Good sign since I am approaching the age of 25, it's time for me to have a clear vision in life while bearing the plan to settle down.
However, the other part of mine still remains as a bird without legs, yearning for the chance to fly high around the sky, having no destinations and no where to stop.
Though, legless bird will end up dying young, out of exhaustion and starvation. It does not sound like a pleasant outcome.
But, there are times I couldn't help but wonder, isn't it a wonderful way to end your life after witnessing all of the greatness in this universe?
So, at your spare time, especially during the weekend, you tend to just hop in car and drive around the town that has nothing to offer. It is hard for you to spend money when you can't even find a theater or any other decent shops around the area. As such, I think I am richer than those who will just simply pass by ten big shopping malls on their way back from work.
You are so freaking free on the weekend, to a stage where you start developing 'weekend phobia' because you will be the only soul in the whole house, left with nothing to do and nobody to talk with, besides grazing on notes, preparing the coming classes and getting pissed at some old maid who is clinically proven to be a psychopath.
Then, you started to question yourself about the decision you made about accepting the job and moving here.
Though, recapturing the moments I have in class and also some lovely students that I have, I realised that it was a right decision. I love teaching, I love the attention people have on me when I speak in front of the class. No, I am not an attention whore, I just love the feeling of sharing my knowledge in front of the kiddoes who are interested in learning.
I am thankful for accepting the offer because in someways, it helps me to obtain the direction in life. I like to teach and I really enjoying sharing experience. This is a Good sign since I am approaching the age of 25, it's time for me to have a clear vision in life while bearing the plan to settle down.
However, the other part of mine still remains as a bird without legs, yearning for the chance to fly high around the sky, having no destinations and no where to stop.
Though, legless bird will end up dying young, out of exhaustion and starvation. It does not sound like a pleasant outcome.
But, there are times I couldn't help but wonder, isn't it a wonderful way to end your life after witnessing all of the greatness in this universe?
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