sadness

This is a very sad day. The saddest I have since I been here in US. I cried, cried and cried.

I guess I am not compatible to the job. I can never take care of kids well, espcially American kids. I guess I have made a huge mistake for coming here. I think so... Is there a turning back? I don't know. Should I rematch?? I don't know, nothing I have done seem to be right. I hate that kind of feeling. I hate that...

There is no one I can rely on right now, only myself. I have been trying my best, doing A LOT of things which were impossible to me. But then again, maybe it's time to rethink my deicision. Ya, I know the previous au pair is good and she can do almost anything. Too bad, I am not her and I can NEVER be her. You guys shouldn't ignore my effort.

You can never be in my shoes even though you said you understand... The rejection, the frustration, the depression...

Gosh..Maybe it's time for a change.

Ducks' Pond

I am living in a sub-urban area in California . As a result, there are a lot of parks, ponds, forests and some other greatest creation of mother nature here. I love the ducks' pond and I enjoy taking Jake, the huge retriever with me whenver I go there. It's actually a hiking area. I would love to share with you all the beautiful pictures of the ducks and waterfall. Well, according to my host mum, Pam, the ducks will be here every autumn, before the weather turning cold. :) The good thing about people in US, especially here is southern park of CA, is that they really treasure the environment. Nothing is polluted and it is nearly impossible for you to find any pieces of rubbish in any park, ponds or hiking area. All of the areas are well-prepserved. I love that! It's totally different from what we have in Malaysia.

I love those ducks. So I would love to share with you all the pictures. Enjoy.

New York City

:) Like what I have promised, here's some of the photes I took in New York City last week!! Enjoy!!!




WOW! Have a look of the four pictures above, then you will know the REAL meaning of CITY! Yeah! New York City. I bet all of you should pay a visit there, well, at least once in a life time!! :P



The 3 pictures above have shown the greatest theater in New York City. :) Aren't they amazing? I guess one Chinese Opera or drame was being played there. :)


I learnt about media conglomentation in Politic class last year and I heard about the very few media owner in US. I remember that MR Chong told us about the ESPN channel which has developed tremendously, to a stage where they have their own restaurants, pubs, channels, magazines retail shops and so on. I witnessed it myself. The 2 photoes above actually has shown a group of ESPN guys shooting some programme in the Time Square of New York City. I passed by the restaurants and pubs, too. :P But, I wasn;t able to snap those pictures. hehe. Enjoy these. :P

The Guy above was our tour guide when we, a a group of au pairs had our New York City trip on 4th October 2006. He's kinda cool, isn't he? :p

Close your eyes and imagine. The buildings used to be the symbol of New York City... But on that particular day in year 2001., everything dissapeared.. It's a sad story of US. The area has turned into a construction side right now...

Here's 4 cool firefighters we met in front of the previous twin towers areas. Many girls took photoes with them. I guess we had lighted up their night.:P

The picture above is actually a memoir of those fire fighters who sacrificed their lives to rescue the victims in 911 event...

The girl in the picture above is the greatest friend whom I have known during my Orientation in Connecticut. I was all alone as not many of the au pairs there willing to make friend with Asian girl. :P I guess I am lucky to know her, Christina, who's from Germany. :) Love ya!

Hey, Here's another Germany girl. Isn't she sweet? wow..I guess I shouldn't took picture with her. Sitting beside her, I am like an ugly duckilng. I hate that. :) Anyway, I love the way she talks and smiles. :) REALLY.

From Malaysia to New York

Wow, Yong! There you go. Here's a picture I took in flight. I was flying with Korean Air, flew across the different time zone and crashed into the entire new land. I expereince the instant transform from night to day. The picture below I took it when I flew through the pacific ocean...and passed by the continent of Chicago. I love the picture. I flew ubove the cloud...That are soft, white and look sweet. :)


This is a photo which was taken from my room in the hotel in Connecticut. It's a city which is about one hour away from New York City. :) It's a love morning and that was my first day in US. Cool, isn't it? Hwne you see the glimmer of sunlight shining through the clouds, it means that there are hope.. :P


The picture below is the picture which I took in the evening, somewhere aourn the hotel. I was going out to search for an adapter with one Germany girl. The houses and building in US is totally different from what we have in Malaysia. :) I love the structure here, :P


Arggg... There are so many pictures I want share with you guys... I have too many of them but this Mac is stupid!! I don't know whathappen to it but I couldn't upload any pictures anymore. Gosh! So sorry. You all will only be able to view the three as above. I will try to upload more next time.. I have sooo many of them, espcially those I took in New York City. Yeah!

Next time. all the best ya! muak.

Autumn...

I have been longing to experience autumn in a beautiful foreign country. Now, this dream come true.. yes.. California is such an amazing place.. espcially the place I am currently staying in. It's a sub-urban area. The landscapes would simply capture your heart.. They are like the scenes in the movies. The road, the side way, the trees, the forest, the park, the ponds. There are bunches of wild rabbits hopping here and there around the park early in the morning. There are falling leaves in this romantic season. I witnessed the read leaves top of the tree. I am not sure if they are maple leaves, but they really resemble it. :)

These three pictures were taken when I walked Jake, the sweet dog to the park and pond this evening. I got nothing better to do so I walked around the area and I couldn't stop myself from taking those pictures. Of course, I have a lot of them but I chose the best three. Come on, it really takes time to resize them, plus I am using a MAC. Yes, Mac computer that we used in advertising class. It's not that user friendly. But I have to use it right now. :)

Autumn is always my favourite season. It's a season for you to miss those you love them dearly. Unfortunately, I am here in California. I missed the Mooncake Festival with my beloved ones. I saw the leaves falling and I suddenly thought of Kenjo. Before departing to US, she sent me a card and she told me that she would be glad if I could send her some leaves right here. I guess she's hoping to receive a red maple leaf. :) Iwill try to get one for you. But when it reach there, I am sure that they will turn into a dry brown leaf. The colour wouldn't be that great anymore. :) Well, you can see the pics here first. I am still trying to adjust my life to the typical US lifestyle. By the way, before getting my driving license here, I can do nothing. Ya, like a prisoner. Gosh...

I am wondering if you guys are fine there? Mama, Papa, Yong, Tash, Chloe, Lampfly, Protocol, Nelly, Kenjo, ChauYen.. Yes everyone that I know of. I miss everything in Malaysia,. In this season of fall, I miss you all. But like what I have said, I want to be strong, I want to be really really strong. I want to overcome all thsoe hardship and return to my homeland as a brand new whole person. I will be fine. It's just that, when I was walking the dog along the street, I stepped on those falling leaves... I was thinking, is Malaysia still pretty much the same? Is Mama doing fine? Is Yong getting better in Singapore? I juse want everything to be fine.. I just wish that the leaves would tell the wind to send them my care and love, when it blows and makes the leaves whirl...

Hi, I am in california!

I am here, in california. Ya, I reach here safe and sound.

Wow, I flew for more than 22 hours to reach New York, with a connecting flight in between at Korea. I experience a lot of things throughout the journey and also the orientation in New York. I just wish that I can store each and every single word I have heard in the 'lectures' in my mind, so that I will be able to use it whenever I need it when I have to take the full responsibility to take care of the three lovely boys.

:P By the way, I have visited several hotspots in New York.. I want to upload the pictures for you all to see it but nto right now..I am using the MAC and frankly speaking I am nto really good at it. I will try to do that days ago, when I have got used to it. I saw the twin towers, which turned in to a construction side right now, a lot of tall buildings. That's really cool. That's what a City suppose to look like. Besides, I took some pictures up in the sky when in flight... Wow, those clouds beneath me, truly resemble soft and sweet candy that I would love to have a bite.

After the four days of useful orientation in the hotel situated in stamford CT, I was in the plane again, flew for about 8 hours to reach LA, California. So basically, I spent a lot of time flying here and there.. and I have to say that, I hate to be in flights, it sucks.. Luckily I was rejected for the job of flight attendant.

I stopped at Korea for 2 hours when I was on m way to New York last Monday. I got quite a lot of experience in the connecting flight, too. I wish to share but not right now, I gotta tidy up my room. My clothes are still in the huge suitcases.

I am only going to meet the kids this afternoon. I am really nervous. What shall I say to them.. the parents are really nice people. I had no expextations before reachinf but now it's like having more and more surprises. I wish that I will be fine with the kids. Let's pray so..

The retriever, Jake, is snoring beside me now. He is such a cute dog. I love him at the very fist moment i met him at the doorstep. He greeted my by licking and smelling my hand. I love kind animals and humans. :)

I think I really need a lot of luck now.. Pray for me, my all friends. :) seeya.

ciao.

Truly A New Chapter in Life

I will start my journey to KLIA three hours later. Ya, my passport is ready, my Visa is ready, my luggages are ready, my e-ticket's here, all things are ready, besides my heart. I think...

I am here to say goodbye to my friends. ByeBye my beloved friends...

Bye Tasha, Chauyen, Chloe, Kenjo, Nelly, ChunYet, Khaishin, Kathy... Well, just everyone I know of... Byebye.. I will miss you all.. take care and see you all soon. MUAKS.

Bye my beloved 'BaoBao', 'BeiBei', brother Teck, Mama, Papa and my dearest guiding angel...

I will miss you all...Time flies.. I WILL BE BACK.

I have my new chapter in life, truly a brand new chapter... Wish me good luck!

Dear Mama

I know that you are sad. I know that you have been secretly shedding tears ever since you knew my depature date. I know that I am your dearest daughter whom you care with your heart since the day I was born. I know you couldn't bear to see me taking any risk. I know you always want me to be safe and close to you. I know all these... Mummy.
I am sorry for the agony I brought. I have been feeling bad, really really bad, too. I am always emotional and I couldn't imagine myself saying goodbye to you at the airport, leaving you and papa with brother for one year at home, without my concern and care. Though, Mama... It's time for your little girl to grow up, I have to encounter hardship, difficulties and predicaments to grow strong and achieve total independence. I have to spread my wings so that they would get used to the uncertainties in life and learn the way of fighting with them. I MUST be strong so that I can protect you, pampering you under my wings, sheltering you from wind, cold and storm when you are powerless to do so.

Just one year Mama. I thank you for your permission.

I love you and I will be back after one year, providing you with best things in life: love, care, protection, and the greatest companionship.

Hobby

Besides indulging in reading, watching a lot of CSI DVD these days, the things that I love to do during my leisure time is colouring. Yes, colouring. Using colour pencils and fill in the lovely pictures with my favoutire colour, creating a mass of cooour world!!

Hehe, you might be thinking, Coloring!! OH... Kids' doings. Nono. That's not true. There is a huge knowledege behind this art, it's not merely about filling in the colours. This hobby actually relates to the sensitivity towards the matching of colours and they skill you have in filling them layer by layer into the white spcace. I can spend whole day doing nothing besides colouring those cute colouring album.

them by using the camera, and the result isn't that good due to the lighting and resolution problem. Anyway, Just some samples.. Wanna see more... hehe. come and visit me, I will show you all of my great products of art!! :P

I love the mouse. :P hehe as I have been rearing hamsters even since I was 16 years old!
Again, a mouse riding on a duck! It's the best of them four... Too bad, you all can't see it for real.. It's really nice.
This one isn't that good. But I love the donkey.

This monkey on plane picture hasn't complete. I will do it after coming back form US. hehe, :P

22nd's Presents

Besides the angel's gift, I received three lovely presents from my dearest friends and cousin. LAMPFLY sent me a pair of socks and a sweet little handmade card. She wrote in the little space: Warm socks with warm wishes, may you have memorable experience in the foreign land..."

KENJO posted me a card. The rectangle white and blue card in the photo above. she wrote quite a lot of words inside, i won't stated here. Just wanna tell her that, "Thank you so much. I love your card and it's a surprise to me! :) Your words gave me strength, really. I love your card. It's a kind of blessing I have before leaving. :)

My cousin bought me the table lamp, it's really pretty. I love it so much. Seashells on boat, symbolizing everything plain sailing. :) I will be fine under her sweet wishes. Thank you. My cousin's dad, who is my uncle gave me a HUGE red packet. It's really HUGE and I still think that I don't deserve that. MUAKS! Thanks uncle, I love you so much! Let's go for a trip after I come back here to Malaysia, ok?

The photo above is the picture when the light's on. The lamp exudes yellow light, radiating warmth that kindle up the room. It light up my day. I will make it.... really, believe me... I will become a better individual after the trip. See you guys!!!

BIG hugs and THANK you, for yours kindness and support!!

Angel's Presents

Mother woke me up from sleep early this morning, before heading to work. I was having a sweet dream as the weather this morning is cold and humid. She patted my shoulder and said, " AN angel asked me to pass you these gifts on your birthday morning, see it later ya..."

Then, She left me with the angel's gifts and left the house. I was really sleepy and couldn't really response to her. Until a moment ago, when I woke up from my sleep, feeling refreshing and suddenly spotted the small present and a red packet besides my pillow.

I opened both of them and realised that they are Lexcron card reader, 8 GB memory card and a certain amount of US dollars... That's the utmost expensive present, which I have ever received in my entire 22 years of life. I am not merely talking about the price; it's actualy the heart...

How can you be so thoughtful, my angel?

I want to tell you that I love you so much and I don't need those expensive fancy stuff, you are the best present I have in life.

"Du bist ein engel, ich liebe dich echt..."

Thank you. We will see each other very soon after one year. Thank you and send you thousands kisses... MUAKS...

Biography of PreCious

My two hamsters, which are named 'PreCious'. They have their two names in one as in

Chinese language, 'Precious'=宝贝. So, one of my them is '宝宝'，whereas another was named as '贝贝'. I know, I know. It's lame. But, they are truly my precious babies.

In fact, the two little furry balls were born someday in September last year. They were my little present from Protocol for my brithday last year. Protocal brought me these two little girls, all the way from her ex-roomate's friend's friend's house in KL to Genting Highland for me as I was having a holiday there after my semester examination. What I was trying to say was, Don't play play...These two little balls had been on cable car before. They travelled all the way, crossed the moutains and survived through the freezing cold weather just to reach their lovely owner, ME! hehe. I bet they never regret about it, right? my chubby babies.

Well, they have been mine for one year. I guess they have something to share with you guys. Theirs experience with thier greatest mummy. :P Let's see what's they have said.

We are BaoBao and BeiBei. I am Baobao, the one who's at the right in the photo and BeiBei was the greedy hamster that fighted for candy with me at the left. We love to eat anyting's sweet and our owner loves feeding us candy. But, we always have to fight with one another and bite as much as possible because our mummy never allow us to eat too much of that.

BaoBao here! I am not some hamsters, that you can trifle with. I bite! Don't catch my photo, I don't like it right now. Keep the machine or else I will attack!






I am BeiBei. Sometimes, instead of running the wheel, I prefer to pee in it. I love doing that but my mummy hates that. She would pinch me whenever I do that. OPPPsss.. My mum's coming. Don't take my photo! It's evidence...

Besides playing, sleeping and eating, both of us got nothing much to do. So, I invented one game. It's called hamster's hide and seek. I will squeeze my body between the bar and the wheel. Mummy can't get me sometimes and would get frustrated! That's fun!

That day, I was placed on mummy's brother bed. They were playing PS2 and ignored my existance. I was so sad so I hid myself inside of the ringfile on the bed. I was waiting for my mummy to get anxious and realised about my missing!




See, when I feel like going out for a walk, I will allow you to hold me in your palm. Don't ever try that without my permission! I am BaoBao and I bite!

I want my mummy's hugs... Where are you?

BeiBei is really a nuisance! She loves pestering me whenever I am thirsty and having a drink. I will tell Mummy about it. Don't ever do that again.








What do you want from us? We have no more sunflower seeds. And those sweetcorns and carrocts all fnish eaten by BeiBei. I am straving! I want some cake and pudding! Mummy!

This is the punishment for eating up my food. Luckily I kept some in my pockets! Anyway, still, I gotta teach you a lesson! Don't snatch my food!




Hey, isn't it nice? No fighting, no biting, no snatching. We are gentle and polite girls with manners. You eat your seed and I have my corn. :p I love you and you love me. Mummy's eating ice-cream, we gotta behave and act cute so that we could have a spoonful of it!





We are in Mummy's palm. We are not going to bite. We love our Mummy and we licked her skin sometimes. Our Mummy is the best! Mom, When can we get our cheesecake after saying all those good things about you?

I am not sure if I will still be able to hold them, kiss them, smell them, feel them and take care of them after my one year stay in the foreign land. Just, want to write something about my two lovely girls. I have you two in my heart, n omatter how. My mother will take care of you two ehn I am away, Ya, Granny. hehe. Be obedient.

If Mummy can never see you two again, I will see yours photoes everyday, ya, everyday, in my heart, in my book and in my mind... stay healthy and safe. It's a promise, ok? MUAKS

Wenzi

Sometimes, we just don’t aware that there is indeed someone around us, who would lend us her warm and sincere hands when we are in a bed of thorns.

There’s a saying goes, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’. In fact, there is a greater meaning behind the idiom. I can’t describe it in words. You have to feel it, experience it, in order to have a better understanding.

I rang Wenzi that day, all of a sudden to seek for her help. (* Wenzi was the sweetest girl in my class when I was in UTAR. She has dimples and a pair of big deep eyes that exude subtle charm when you look into them. hehe. There's a proof in the photo on left. I guess my huge and distorted pig face had spolit the beauty of the photo. But, please, look at the tiny face behind me, she's truly a beauty, isn't she?)

Me: “Hey, I am very sorry for disturbing you but I really need your help this time!”

Wenzi: “Oh, Chia. I’m so happy to receive your call. How’s your life? Is there anything I can do for you?”

Me: “I have an appointment with the US embassy for my Visa interview next Tuesday. The time’s pack and I couldn’t get myself a room to stay for two days right now…."(I haven't finish my sentence but she cut into my words by saying->)

Wenzi: “Then come and stay with me. Just tell me when are you going to arrive and I can meet you somewhere. No problem and no big deal.”

Me: …. “Thank you. You saved my life.”

Wenzi: Hehe. No that serious.

That was a very brief conversation we had over the phone. She talked to me with her usual cheerful tone and I could feel her sincere and welcoming heart even through the devices.

I slept with her for two days and she even gave me her house keys so that I wouldn’t have to horse around the KL area early in the morning after my visa appointment. Her action actually caused her troubles but she seemed to care nothing about it.

She didn’t really serve me as a guest as we are friends and have known each other for years. She gave me her full trust and had dinners with me for the two days. In fact, she was busy owing to her newfound dream job. Her daily schedule is tight but she spared her time to dine with me and chatted with me throughout the nights.

At the night before I went back for home, we chatted for hours while laying ourselves down on her comfy bed. We were worn off due to our tiring activities in day but still continued talking and talking. We talked about our days in UTAR, our old friends, our future…Well, just everything and anything.

At last, when I started to get goofy due to the tiredness, she pushed me a little bit on my right arm and said, “you wanna sleep? Hey, let’s talk some more, you are leaving very soon and this is our last night to talk like this. Don’t sleep. Talk."

That’s sweet, isn’t it? :-) I remember I gave out a wink, a very sweet wink for her in the dark and then tried my best to chat with her, until both of us fell into a state of unconsciousness. : P

Wenzi, thank you and thank you. I don’t know what to say here. Thanks for your forgiveness and consideration toward my ‘无事不登三堡殿’. Thanks for everything. How about this? After I complete my fulfilling year (Let’s pray so!) in the state, I will buy you a big present.

Muaks. <3 It’s really nice to have you as friend. You are charming, 'inside and outside' :P. All the best and I will miss you dearly. That's a promise.