This is a very sad day. The saddest I have since I been here in US. I cried, cried and cried.
I guess I am not compatible to the job. I can never take care of kids well, espcially American kids. I guess I have made a huge mistake for coming here. I think so... Is there a turning back? I don't know. Should I rematch?? I don't know, nothing I have done seem to be right. I hate that kind of feeling. I hate that...
There is no one I can rely on right now, only myself. I have been trying my best, doing A LOT of things which were impossible to me. But then again, maybe it's time to rethink my deicision. Ya, I know the previous au pair is good and she can do almost anything. Too bad, I am not her and I can NEVER be her. You guys shouldn't ignore my effort.
You can never be in my shoes even though you said you understand... The rejection, the frustration, the depression...
Gosh..Maybe it's time for a change.
9 comments:
- rachel -
do whatever you're happy with.
don't force yourself.
life's never been easy.
you're so far apart from family and friends.
everything needs to be settled by yourself.
be tough.
no salah of turning back.
but, be sure there's no any regret after turning back.
Human tends to compare everyone, everything. They will only see how good is the previous, but they wont see how good is the present. Once they lost the present one, they will tell the latter how good is the previous (the present who just gone).
Life is never be fair though. They dont see ur effort & ur strength. In other working environments are similiar. So brace up and accept the challege. There are not only u who are fighting for acknowledgement.
I am always on ur side. Remember, brace urself & take up the tough challenge. U will be even more mature after this..
friend,
jus take ur time to find out more abt the new env, the new family and also ur true self; before u go for any decision.
if u still found it is not wat u want,u r always welcome to be home:)
rachel, yong, lampfly,
thanks for your comments... i really dontknwo what to do sometimes.. the kids are totally out of control.. and everything they have done i have to bear the responisbility...they expect me to be their baby sitter, their teacher, their protector, their sister.. a good famiyl member and a good helper...that's soemtimes way too much.. and i really dont know... wish me good luck.. the roads seem to be really really tough now... *sigh.but i will be fine, really.thanks ALOT,, muaks
Stay cool, just be what you are and not push yourself too hard or over the limit. The more pressure you put yourself into, the lousier performance you give.
Good luck.
Chia,life is an adventure, not a worry.I understand ur feeling... yaa...sumtimes things don go ur way...but after all the tears were over... dun expect to see a rainbow after the rain...but still u have to think positively,thats sumthing that help u grow,to a better person. And if u want to pursue a dream, stumbling blocks must become stepping stones. I'm alwiz here to support u, anything pls call o MSN me ya.We the Msian who will alwiz stand by n back up each other ya! :P Take care.
hi sze jia.. u know who i am rite.. hmm.. i bet u know lor.. dunno ask yong la.. btw, abt alone in a strange place is doesnt matter, the matter is u trying to enjoy ur life there. try to make everything around u be fun and u will glad u r there.. try goin around n familiar tat place so u will not felt strange anymore.. try to meet more ppl there n making frens so u wont be lonely anymore.. btw,this is just my previous path to leave home and stay in a totally strange place.. hope this help. anyway.. good luck and all the best!!
myles: sorry girl for leaving my msg only now since i am away to genting these few days..dun get frustrated or stressed up..it's completely normal n its not that u can't handle it but perhaps mayb u never dealt much with children 24/7 so it will take some times...jus give yourself some time to learn n soon u will b able to find a way to handle them..not only the kids but everything...jus like studying, we got lots of course to take, to learn, to manage and perform.. jus do it one by one and dun stress yrself up...slowly it will come handy n familiar..take care my fren, anything let us know k...KAMBADEH!!!!
plus, mayb its d diff between culture.. their expectation might b diff..so try to be at ease more and i hope it helps...
tash, cloud,jason, linly,
thank you. *sigh. I dont know what to do.. but i will be fine. thanks for your concern. thanks a lot. wish you guys doing well. dont be like me. *sigh... not sure if i have the will to keep going or not... just trying.. thank you.
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