The greatest drawback of this cultural exchange program is 'Gaining Weight'. According to the director of the au pair agency, in general, 90% of the au pairs have gained at least 10 pounds within the one year program. This phenomenon is basically due to the stress of staying in foreign land with American strangers, homesickness, too-carefree-lifestyle and the changes of diet. When they got back to their homeland, they will try whatever way to lose weight, most of the time, is in vain...
Gaining Weight, it's has been my nightmare since I was in elementary school. I was a really plump girl, er..not really that plump, but 'heavy' enough to be a character, which was constantly mocked by relatives and friends, espcially my relatives. In fact, they love me alot, but they just couldn't control themselves when they saw me being a 'fat girl'. No kidding, they threw a lot of CRUEL words on me. On the surface, I laughed and smiled. Though, deep inside my heart, I was deeply hurt, seriously. After reaching adolences, I was always aware of my own weight. You know...teenage girl, with a vulnerable and sensitive heart, it was a really HUGE issue. I wasn't that fat actually, I was like 53 or 54 KGs at the height of 162cm. Though, outlook was everything for me. As such, I determined to went on a strict diet.
I went through two major and extreme losing weight period. One was when I was 15, the other one was when I was in the first year of college. I ate one apple a day. That's it, for the entire week. I drank a lot of water to chase away the torture of hunger. I was (actually still, I am) persistent and obstinent, always. When I have made up my mind to do something, nothing and nobody can stop me from doing that. So, for the two dieting experiences, I succeed. I lost 5KGs within one week for both. Yeah, it's hard. But I made it. For the sake of beauty, girls will do ANYTHING.
My dearest mother is a perfectionist. She loves me with her entire heart so she couldn't endure others' talking about my figure. She was actually upset about it when I was younger and constantly reminded me to stop eating. Frankly speaking, I was hurt as I couldn't accept the fact that my own mother discriminated the fatness of her daughter. As such, I was kinda rebellion that time. Whenever she asked me to stop eating, I would throw my temper and tried to eat more. The result, I was fat like a PIG.
Anyway, like what I have mentioned at the third paragraph, I lost a lot of KGs, well, at least 5 kgs for each dieting session. Afterwards, I try my best to maintain my weight at a certain range, 48 to 50kg, nothing more than that, by skipping my dinner every single night. Ask my friends and previous roomates. They know my hunger strike history in details. :p
Ohya, back to the topic. Gaining weight. When I was in California, I was really skinny. Neither do I slept well nor eat well. I guess this was because of the treatment I got from my previous host family. Though, after moving to New York with Geri, my host mom right now. I have gained a lot of weight! I have more flexible working hours under a comfy roof. She cares about me and I am happy to be here. Plus, I am alwasy bored as my working hours is shorter. SO, what to do? EAT! In fact, the CORE factor is because I am staying very near to New Jersey right now. I see Protocol every weekend, when I see her, I am always happy, so what to do? EAT!
I dare not stand on the weight measuring machine. I am worry that I will be haunted by the EXTRA KGs or LBS. Anyhow, I can see the fatness from the mirror and through the clothing I wear. There's warning signals everywhere. But still, like what Protocol did, I still insisted that American dryers had to bear the full responsibility towards the 'shrinking'of ours clothe's sizes...
Until that painful day. My mom woke me up from my world of 'thin fantasy'...
After seeing the pictures posted in my online albums, regarding my trips, my life and the parties I have attended here, she made her remarks. Read our conversation as below:
MOM: "I have just seen your photoes. Oh My God, what happened to you? you look so fat since the day you moved to New York. What have you been eating? "
ME: *Embaressed* "Just those regular stuff, you know, nothing special."
MOM: "You eat cheese everyday? Butter? Chips? Milk? Pasta? You cannot eat them all the time, watch your weight.."
ME: "I know, Mom. I do gained 'some' weight. You know, just some...I don't really eat a lot of thing and I hate cheesy stuff. I will be fine, Mommy."
MOM: "Must be A LOT. I can see that your pants were tight when you wore them. You must be eating a lot. Stop eating that much. WHY YOU FAT UNTIL LIKE THAT?"
ME: *Hurt. 0_o... speechless..
Yes. that's my mom, who emphasizes heavily on her daughter's weight. hmmm..hahah. it's ok, she cares. :p but AM I REALLY THAT FAT? My dear friends, be my witness, am I really that fat? Why my mommy said something so mean?
:-( You guys gotta be my witness. For this, I have my photo taken this afternoon, listen, this afternoon, my latest, still warm and fresh. No photoshop, no illustrator, nothing. OPEN your eyes and see, am I really FAT until like that?
Gaining Weight, it's has been my nightmare since I was in elementary school. I was a really plump girl, er..not really that plump, but 'heavy' enough to be a character, which was constantly mocked by relatives and friends, espcially my relatives. In fact, they love me alot, but they just couldn't control themselves when they saw me being a 'fat girl'. No kidding, they threw a lot of CRUEL words on me. On the surface, I laughed and smiled. Though, deep inside my heart, I was deeply hurt, seriously. After reaching adolences, I was always aware of my own weight. You know...teenage girl, with a vulnerable and sensitive heart, it was a really HUGE issue. I wasn't that fat actually, I was like 53 or 54 KGs at the height of 162cm. Though, outlook was everything for me. As such, I determined to went on a strict diet.
I went through two major and extreme losing weight period. One was when I was 15, the other one was when I was in the first year of college. I ate one apple a day. That's it, for the entire week. I drank a lot of water to chase away the torture of hunger. I was (actually still, I am) persistent and obstinent, always. When I have made up my mind to do something, nothing and nobody can stop me from doing that. So, for the two dieting experiences, I succeed. I lost 5KGs within one week for both. Yeah, it's hard. But I made it. For the sake of beauty, girls will do ANYTHING.
My dearest mother is a perfectionist. She loves me with her entire heart so she couldn't endure others' talking about my figure. She was actually upset about it when I was younger and constantly reminded me to stop eating. Frankly speaking, I was hurt as I couldn't accept the fact that my own mother discriminated the fatness of her daughter. As such, I was kinda rebellion that time. Whenever she asked me to stop eating, I would throw my temper and tried to eat more. The result, I was fat like a PIG.
Anyway, like what I have mentioned at the third paragraph, I lost a lot of KGs, well, at least 5 kgs for each dieting session. Afterwards, I try my best to maintain my weight at a certain range, 48 to 50kg, nothing more than that, by skipping my dinner every single night. Ask my friends and previous roomates. They know my hunger strike history in details. :p
Ohya, back to the topic. Gaining weight. When I was in California, I was really skinny. Neither do I slept well nor eat well. I guess this was because of the treatment I got from my previous host family. Though, after moving to New York with Geri, my host mom right now. I have gained a lot of weight! I have more flexible working hours under a comfy roof. She cares about me and I am happy to be here. Plus, I am alwasy bored as my working hours is shorter. SO, what to do? EAT! In fact, the CORE factor is because I am staying very near to New Jersey right now. I see Protocol every weekend, when I see her, I am always happy, so what to do? EAT!
I dare not stand on the weight measuring machine. I am worry that I will be haunted by the EXTRA KGs or LBS. Anyhow, I can see the fatness from the mirror and through the clothing I wear. There's warning signals everywhere. But still, like what Protocol did, I still insisted that American dryers had to bear the full responsibility towards the 'shrinking'of ours clothe's sizes...
Until that painful day. My mom woke me up from my world of 'thin fantasy'...
After seeing the pictures posted in my online albums, regarding my trips, my life and the parties I have attended here, she made her remarks. Read our conversation as below:
MOM: "I have just seen your photoes. Oh My God, what happened to you? you look so fat since the day you moved to New York. What have you been eating? "
ME: *Embaressed* "Just those regular stuff, you know, nothing special."
MOM: "You eat cheese everyday? Butter? Chips? Milk? Pasta? You cannot eat them all the time, watch your weight.."
ME: "I know, Mom. I do gained 'some' weight. You know, just some...I don't really eat a lot of thing and I hate cheesy stuff. I will be fine, Mommy."
MOM: "Must be A LOT. I can see that your pants were tight when you wore them. You must be eating a lot. Stop eating that much. WHY YOU FAT UNTIL LIKE THAT?"
ME: *Hurt. 0_o... speechless..
Yes. that's my mom, who emphasizes heavily on her daughter's weight. hmmm..hahah. it's ok, she cares. :p but AM I REALLY THAT FAT? My dear friends, be my witness, am I really that fat? Why my mommy said something so mean?
:-( You guys gotta be my witness. For this, I have my photo taken this afternoon, listen, this afternoon, my latest, still warm and fresh. No photoshop, no illustrator, nothing. OPEN your eyes and see, am I really FAT until like that?
GOSH.. Hmmm.. I can't see it myself. Bloody photo. I AM REALLY FREAKING FAT. Bad picture, bad camera!
Nevermind. I don't want to hear yours answers. I am dieting right now. We will see. I am very firm on my decision this time. you guys will SEE.
:-$
2 comments:
Oh my gosh!! y your mom said something like that?? Hahaha... My mom will never say that... She will at 1st, but then when I sound really sad and ask her again to RECONFIRM, she will console me and say "no la.. not really la..." hahahaha.. But your mom... erm.. too canggih oredi la! haha! TRUST ME, you are NOT fat! ok? I told my host mom that you say I will SURELY be FAT after this trip. She said you are funny! haha! and I wore my swimming suit this morning and my host mom said I am not fat at all! anyway, gotta reduce my weight too. Both of us keep it up ya! (but don't you do it too extreme, not good) miss ya, muaks!
ZOE,
aha. fat mah then have to admit loh. no choice. u know? family pressure. i can never gain weight. it's the culture of my family. hahahah. anyway, have agood trip in carribean. miss you here. seeu soon, ok? muaks muask! WE REALLY have to speed up the application thing liao.. muak muaks.loveu
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