?

Vows. I wonder what they mean.

SeeYou

I am gone, again. Bye bye! But, I'll be back!!

吴哥窟

五月中旬去了一趟柬埔寨，目睹了世界古老的七大建筑奇观之一 ━ 吴哥窟。从没想过会有机会到此一游，机缘巧合之下来到这里，发觉身边的一物一景都美得不像话。随手一拍，忍不住捕下了近千张照片。当然，我不会把所有的图像放上来，随意的挑了很少的几张来和朋友分享、顺便记录这个非凡的心灵之旅。

十二世纪的建筑和文化自然奇特得不在话下。它的美，沧桑得有些诡异，真的让人有一点无法想象。至于那市中之人更是带给了我很多启发性的思想。对于我来说，这仿佛是一场生命探索的旅程。旧时代的人们崇尚神明，认为他们主宰了生命的一切，因而用尽了一生来奉献、膜拜。这些惊人的建筑和雕刻是最好的证明。精致万变的女神雕刻处处可见，但是，此行最大的收获是发现了原来幸运的人儿身边都有一位女神来守候保护他们━ 这位是我的幸运女神，你找到你的了吗？

最后在这里小小的介绍这间非一般的民宿，若要有一个不同于旅客的经验，就尝试让它来帮你当一回起步的自由旅者吧！你不会后悔的哦！

Sunset

Before checking-out from school completely, I would like to upload this post from my personal office, for the very last time. This is my last chance to sit here and type. I want to mark this moment down, place it as part of my memory in life. It is sad but this is the time to say goodbye.

I will depart with a big smile and thankful heart...Thank you for everything... Thank you.

老师

你有没有遇过那种让你一辈子都不会忘记的良师？

读了这么多年的书，我知道肯真正为学生献身的老师犹如凤毛麟角，但，我却很庆幸自己在求学生涯中还是很幸运地巧遇了一些真的对我人生很有启发的老师；对此，我仍旧抱着一颗感恩的心。特别是在投身于大专教育这一行后，我发现了各种不为人知的荒谬黑暗处后更了解到好的老师真的是可遇不可求。所以，如果你在人生的阶段中曾遇见那么一位有意思的长辈，我真的要说这位客官您可走运了！

我并不伟大，也不是什么会为学生出生入死的老师；很多时候还很懒惰，批改数百份考卷和作业时常常会很想大哭一场、然后再把课业撕掉。可是，我一直把自己想象成一个无助的学生，把角色调换来思考学生所需。我并不是说我比其他人厉害，只是我有限的人生经验教会了我将心比心、己所不欲，务施予人的道理。所有生物共处于一个地球、吸同样的氧气；这世上没有谁比谁优越的道理。

就像你们所说的：这真的是一个很沉重的再见。但是，很无奈，人生就是由很多不同的 “嗨，你好！”和 “拜拜” 组成的。在你们忙着谢谢我的当儿，我要感谢你们教会了我很多课业外的东西、造就了我美好的金宝回忆。

我以老师的身份要你们给我好好读书，考个上等文凭；更以益友的身份要你们多多保重。你们一定会有一个比我还要璀璨的未来。

First Time

First Punjabi suit in life, it was tailor-made and definitely not cheap but I really like it.

I may not look good in it but screw that! As long as I am happy with it, I guess that's enough!

Thanks Juejun for bringing me to this shop at Ipoh. :-)

贱兔拖鞋

这是我人生中的第一双卧房拖鞋，购买于二零零三年的三月或四月。实际的日期我忘了，只记得这是我第一次离家求学、入住校舍时妈妈给我买的。

我家总和贫穷摆脱不了关系，第一年的先修班不能借钱，我又坚持不上中六、不削国立大学，妈妈因此而头疼不已。她东奔西跑想破脑袋去筹我第一期的学费，我忘了她去向谁借钱了，不过在一番辛苦后她总算借到了第一学期的钱，当时真的有一种饥寒交迫的感觉。但是，不懂事的我竟还和朋友逛街，买了一些无聊的小玩意而惹怒了妈妈因此而被骂得狗血淋头。现在回想起来我真该死！

之后准备行李搬迁去吉隆坡，妈妈又花了一笔钱买了好多必需品，在百货公司里，走在她身后的我突然瞧见这双可爱但要价近三十零吉的卧房拖鞋顿时停下脚步看了一会儿。敏感的妈妈发现后就问我是不是喜欢想买，我摇了摇头直说太贵了。她二话不说取了贱兔走向柜台还钱。

那一年，年纪不到十八岁的我在文良港念着大学先修班，初次离家再加上三百六十度的生活转变压得我透不过气；软弱无助的我终日郁郁寡欢，上完课后只要一回到宿舍关上房门我总会很没用的独自流泪。记忆中，滚烫的泪水连串滑落时我的脚上总是紧紧地被这双贱兔拖鞋包裹着；泪水汪汪的眼睛盯着白白胖胖的兔仔，心里挂念的是远在家乡的妈妈。

度过了极不快乐的一年，课程完毕后我带着贱兔拖鞋随着其他同学搬迁至繁忙的八打灵闹市正式升级为大学生。由于开始适应了游子生活，也有了一些比较合得来的朋友，接下来的三年过得还算不赖，但是我浓重的思家之情还是挥之不去。只要稍微一得闲我就会飞也似的奔向我最恨的富都车站乘搭快巴回家；哪怕只是少过四十八小时的周末我也照回不务。

是的，当时的我一直希望可以永远贴在妈妈身边，感觉那一份温暖无私的亲情，就是那么的简单。

在像流星一般闪过的大学生涯里我仍旧日日穿着我的贱兔拖鞋，并定时每两个月清洗一次、细细的呵护。毕业后我带着它回家，妈妈嚷着我把它丢了，我抵死不从，洗干净后好好的放入抽屉收藏起来。接着我突发奇想，启程远渡重洋的流放，拖鞋依旧乖乖的呆在原位两年。这期间，我和它分开了多于十万里路；心，漂流在太平洋。妈妈最需要我的时候，我浑然不知，那么差一点的就要愧疚终生。

两年后，我以败者的形态归来，休息一阵就收拾行李、携带着被忽略了两年的贱兔独自上首都工作，三个月内又只身北上，投入另一份行业。间中，贱兔拖鞋一直紧随着我。

屈指算来已经七年，我的贱兔拖鞋早已松弛变宽、无法紧紧包围我的双脚了。我还是无法狠下心来把它扔掉，妈妈重重的关怀我无法丢弃。在我很小很小的时候，妈妈喜欢和我一起做剪报。我们从‘南洋学生’里选择文章剪下、贴在厚厚的剪贴簿里。她会坐在我身旁对识字有限的我细细朗读文章，印象最深的是一篇叫“爸爸的草鞋” 的作文。作者在结尾终结：

“爸爸的草鞋是船，它承载了我们的喜悦与悲伤。”

现在想了一想，我倒想说：

“妈妈的贱兔拖鞋是家，无论身在何方，它都用爱将我包围。”

我已独立长大，不可能永远待在妈妈身边。假若我即将再远行，这一次我会把拖鞋带走，但把心留下。

我的心会守候我生命中最重要的人，不会再让历史重演。

The Road Not Taken

I learned about this poem back in high school's English literature class. For some unknown reasons, I was totally fascinated by it. I would like to dedicate this to my dear friend, Lampfly who is going to set off for another journey in life.

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

*No matter where you are, I always keep you in my prayer and sincerely wish you all the best..

捕梦网

近来一直被噩梦骚扰，很难才可以睡个好觉。梦境中反复见到很多不好的人和事，导致起床时昏昏沉沉的，心情极差。

恶梦是人类潜意识里的讯息，你的担忧与恐慌都会化成黑暗的录影片，在你夜晚睡着时于脑海里播放、尽情的用你最害怕的结果来折磨你；让你即害怕又疲惫。

素来，我都很喜欢各类民族的文化传说，印第安人血淋淋的被压迫历史至今仍紧紧的揪着我的五脏六腑；但是， 有关于捕梦网的 故事却不断的为我带来丝丝的浪漫味道。

我床前的捕梦网没法帮我夜夜捉住美梦，也没有保护我免受恶梦袭击，但是我还是习惯在临睡前看看它，总相信自己会一夜好梦、翌日心神舒畅。

捕梦网终究只是 一个 美丽的符号，心灵上的健全往往才是赶走夜魔的良方。

If only I could

Yeah, we can never turn back time. But sometimes, some people, some buildings, some memories just wouldn't stop bugging your mind...

If only I could turn back time, I would have one more 'Chicken Teriyaki Bowl' at my favourite Japanese restaurant. This will remain as a dream forever, the restaurant was sold to some Koreans since few years back.

Shigon Tairo, you are the best sushi master and boss ever, whom I will remember for life. Thank you, and I miss you, I really do.

Insane Trivia

Trivial incidents that occurred during tutorial classes recently.

*********************************************
#1

One minute before the presentation of her communication research proposal...

Student A: Miss, I want to inform you that I didn't include the section of 'Literature Review' into the proposal.

Me: Why? Are you planning to just explain it verbally during your oral presentation?

Student A: No, I don't know what is 'Literature Review' and I don't know how to do this, so i didn't include that part.

Me: Do you know that that section occupies 10 marks in total? If you don't include that, I will need to mark you '0' at that section. Why you didn't ask if you don't know since the beginning of the class like week 1? This is week 7 already! You just realised that you don't understand 'Literature Review' few minutes before your presentation? When you start writing your research proposal? This morning?!

Student A: No, not this morning. I started yesterday night...

Me: Have you ever attended my class? I have been teaching you all about this since week 1. I circulated the samples, outlines and important handouts. You witnessed your friends' presentations and heard my comments at all?

Student A: (silent*Looking at me idiotically)

Me: So, how can I help you? What you expect from me? I can't give you any mark if you don't provide this part. You are going to fail in this assignment for sure. Do you want a second chance?

Student A: (silent*Looking like a total retard)

Me: Ok, I will give you one more day for your assignment then. If you are able to submit another complete copy tomorrow morning, before 10.30am, I will mark you solely base on the new one, pretending that I never receive this assignment today.

Student A: (expression changed dramatically) HuuuHHHhhhhhhhhh.... Miss, that means I have to work on it today and then submit it by tomorrow morning?! Too rush!

Me: ... Anyways, if I don't receive anything new from you tomorrow morning, I will mark you according to this proposal and you are going to fail.

****************************************
#2

After two oral presentations, I was confirming with the students about the number of presenters and the total number of assignments that I was supposed to receive. Then, suddenly...

Student B: Miss, in fact, I am supposed to present today but I didn't know it until the beginning of today's class so I cannot present or submit anything today.

Me: What?! Why?! What happened?!

Student B: I don't know. My friend never told me about that so I didn't know about that until just now.

Me: This is week 7 already! The sequence and date for presentation was fixed since week 1. Everybody received a copy of the name list at week 2 and now you are telling me that you know nothing about it at week 7, right on the day you are supposed to submit your assignment and do your presentation?!

Student B: I really don't know, my friend never told me. I attended all of your classes...

Me: So it's not your fault for not knowing things that are going on in class, your friends will have to bear the responsibility for not informing you about your own due date for assignment?

Student B: ... Can I present next week?

Me: If you want a second chance, I can only allow you to present at other course's tutorial class as there's a schedule that must be followed. So, next Monday, 8am at this venue, if you were late or don't show up, I will fail you right away.

Student B: Ok...

*********************************************
#3

Three hours before my next research method class, I was getting the documents ready in my office. Two students were knocking at my door...

Me: Yes, may I help you?

Student C&D: We are coming to see if Miss has time to check our proposal for us, we are not sure about the points that we have included.

Me: Sure. (*start checking, commenting and guiding them in writing their proposals)

Student C&D: So we only have Introduction and research questions right now, the rest of the three chapters we are not sure what to include, can you please give us some guidance?

Me: Sure. (Explaining to them what are the important areas and points that they will have to include and elaborate). You all will have a lot to work on then, when will be your presentation? I hope not this week because you all will need a lot of time to write the following chapters and also make the relevant amendments.

Student C&D: Actually, we will present at Miss' next class, after three hours.

Me: What?! Then how are both of you going to do this? Skip your next class and just simply insert some irrelevant points inside? Why do thing last minute?!

Student C&D: We are going to skip the next lecture for other subject and try to work on this proposal. We have just came back from East Malaysia from Chinese New Year holiday yesterday so was too tired to do assignment yesterday.

Me: (WTF) Good luck and see you all in class then.

********************************************
#4

I was sitting in the office, scratching my head hard, thinking about the mid-term test questions at week 9. My cell phone rang, I received a text message --

"Miss, are you free to talk now? I want to tell you that I cannot finish my assignment on time and I think I won't be able to submit the proposal and do the presentation later in class."

Immediately, my heart sank. I was pissed. No reply being sent for that ridiculous message. After one hour, *knock*knock.

Me: Yes, what can I do for you.

Student E: (*looking embaressed) Miss, I sent you a text message a moment ago, have you received it?

Me: Guess so. So what you want to tell me?

Student E: I haven't complete my assignment, I cannot submit it by today and I won't be able to present later in class.

Me: Why?

Student E: Because I do things at very last minute. To be honest, I started writing the proposal only yesterday night and there are a lot of parts and information that I don't get. I cannot do it.

Me: Why you only do it last minute? Your friends do not have this problem, they handed in their assignment before the due date. What's your problem? You been busy with something else lately?

Student E: No, I am not really busy, nothing much going on in my life. My friends are not as lazy as me. I don't know what happens to me this semester, I don't have the mood to study and I cannot focus at all, this is entirely my fault and I can blame nobody. I am a procrastinator and I have to bear the consequence.

Me: Ok, so what you want me to do?

Student E: I wonder if you will allow me to present next week in class? I don't mind if you deduct 50% of my marks because this is my fault. I am just asking for a chance to submit my assignment.

Me: hmmm. Ok, how about that? This coming Thursday I have another research method class. If your time table allowed and you can make it on time, I will allow you to present. I won't make things hard for you by deducting 50% percent of the mark, I don't think you will have a lot of marks for me to minus after all. It sounds fair for you?

Student E: (*hesitates)Yeah, but it doesn't sounds fair for you, Miss.

Me: You are a student, still, so I give you another opportunity. If you are working right now, probably you will get fired. I just want you to not repeating this type of mistake later in life.

Student E: Thanks, Miss...

********************************************************

Around 4 years of gap in age, but gigantic difference in terms of attitude. Generation gap?! What's the roots of the problem? Parents? Friends? School? Society? Media?

Totally insane!

Though, I kind of like student E in someways, at least he admitted his mistake and showed his regrets. He had the guts to take the responsibility and bear the ramification of his action.

There are hopes, maybe!

二零一零年

姗姗来迟的二零一零年第一篇博文：

一张全家福， 恭贺各界新年快乐、万事如意~！

虎年行大运！

Bad Joke

Out of the blue, I miss this somebody. Even though he has serious rage issues but when his emotion is stable, he can be really sweet and loving. He once told me a kindergarten level joke, which was really retarded. However for some reasons, at that moment, I laughed until my entire heart jumping out of my mouth.

He asked me, "What peanut butter says to a bag of hazel nuts?"

Me, "What? 0_o. Don't know."

He replied," You are all NUTS!!"

Me,"(hysterical laughing for 2 minutes)."

He can be a real sweetheart sometimes, using his tardo's way.

Hey you! Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year...

Dreamland Avatar

Avatar, it was a beautiful incident in that magical afternoon. Three hours in the theater, my eyes were badly burnt as a result from the unconscious abnormal cut down of blinking. Those were the moments in life where you did not feel like letting any 0.1 seconds to slide out of your vision, as each of the tiny little time-scale carried incredibly breathtaking pictures that you will never want to miss.

18th December 2009.

I thought Avatar was just another typical Hollywood movie with the excessive use of special effects and commercialized idiotic "fighting aliens" kind of cliche story line to attract the marginalized member of the society. Though, part of my heart still kept the hopes up as Avatar was written and directed by the gifted movie master, James Cameron. He created the "Terminator" and "Titanic" legend, which is irreplaceable in all humans' history.

After the three spectacular hours, I shall say that the self-proclaimed 'King of the World' made it again; he utilized the advancement of 3D technology to invent an enthralling fantasy planet for the viewers world wide, sending them off to a captivating journey that we secretly hope would last forever.

The plot remains simple- A group of ruthless and greedy people craved for the pricey mineral that could only be found at the planet outer space,'Pandora'. However, there was this aggressive native alien species, Omaticayan that occupied the area. Scientists successfully cloned the 'Avatar' of themselves, mixing with humans and the native DNA so that they could link to the 'Avatar' and breathe at the planet of 'Pandora'. They tried to gain the trust of the natives for different reasons. Scientist, Grace wanted to study the ecosystem of the mysterious planet whereas the representative of the Resources Development Administration, Parker and the colonel, Miles tried to determine the strategy to deal with the locals so that they would move and allow the humans to snatch their mineral. Jake, the soldier who lost his legs in war was chosen to replace his deceased scientist brother, Tom owing to the necessity of matching DNA , to connect with Tom's Avatar. Then, Jake travelled in and out two worlds, learning about Omaticayan, seeing the forest from the native's eyes, went through a soul-searching experience, fell in love with the sexy Na'vi princess and the mother nature.

I do not intend to write a review or comment about this film or the acting, as there are millions of professional movie critics have done that already. I am just an amateur blogger and movie-goer who is totally under the Avatar's spell and is driven by the urge to jot down this piece of feeling. Cameron was meticulous in his presentation of the fairyland, 'Pandora'. According to Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman created by Gods. She was always curious so one of the Gods decided to test her by giving her a jar which was beautiful but evil, something that was forbidden to be opened. But, She could not resist her strong curiosity; she opened the jar and releasing all the evils of mankind.

Avatar's Pandora was as seductive as the Pandora's box. Everybody would be tempted to open the enchanting cover even being warned about the potential risks well in advance. It was like a real wonderland that we always dream about at night. We all have this little fairy-like space that we would like to be in but we could never reach. We cannot even picture it out as such a dreamland never existed on earth before;this is completely out of human's ability. Hence, this piece in our heart was clearly presented by Cameron, this wizard with his magical hat brought us the brand new kind of "Alice in the Wonderland" experience.

The fairyland unveiled the evil side of mankind. Selfish people destroyed the native's homeland to rob the resources. The greatest irony was how Na'vi people were labelled as 'savages' by Parker as they were not educated and leading tribal-based life. How about those so-called 'civilized' humans who intrude others' land, killing billions of life, destructed the entire region and nature, just to steal and exploit the minority. Isn't it something that never stops happening ever since the begining of our great 'civilization'?

Pandora was a wonderland. In the fantasy, everything that we wish for can be true. Jake was able to walk, run, fly and even appeared as the hero who saved the entire nation of Omaticayan, despite the fact that he was paralyzed in human's world. He was blessed enough to be brought to Pandora, experiencing the real humanity with real loving people. Since Jake's fantasy became real, of course he would choose to stay in it, who will be able to refuse this kind of offer?

Sadly, the dreamland soley belongs to the movie. The ugliness of mankind remains inevitable in real life. That might be one of the reasons for people like us to pay willingly, even for more than once, just to imagine the "running through forest, the wind in my head and the sand at my feet" kind of careless and free life in the dark dreamy space.

Sometimes, it is really depressing to know that we only have rights to dream when we sleep at night.

闲想

近期手头上没有工作，我顿时从上学期的焦头烂额状况速降成现在的绝对无所事事。说实在的，我是真的很不习惯这么黑与白的极端。同样闲暇的同事们则不亦乐乎的投身于自己的兴趣﹑旅行与计划工作； 我却因为先前的失算而僵持在原状，持续地在这里徘徊，浪费生命。套一句老话：还真的是“人算不如天算”。

人只要一得闲，思绪就会跑得很远。就这么不经意的，脑海出现了前所未有的七级大地震﹑激烈的震荡翻起了远古时候的记忆。仿佛爬着无止尽的梯级，我想起了两岁时小小的我偷偷地踮起脚尖，望着在摇篮中熟睡的表妹。再往上踩多几层，我看到了在幼儿园上课，体弱多病的我，不断盯着在窗外等待我考试完毕领我去看医生的妈妈。记忆不断衍生，我好像回到了小学那个爱欺负同学的年代。接着是初中、高中﹑大学﹑流浪漂泊以及正式上班的日子。回忆一飘不过是几分钟的时间，真正的人生一晃却是二十五年。假若有幸活至七十岁，我已走过了多过三分之一的人生。这么一路走来，虽然还算有幸运星的庇护，但也绝不容易。经过了重重阻挠，我猛踩着数不尽的过错与无知，慢慢把自己扶上正轨。

那天无意间读到了一位我喜欢作者的文章， 她说道：

“如果听到陈年旧事在背后喊你的时候，也别真的回头看。这些无论是否开心事还是令你生气的事、不管是不是属于能令你懊恼的事还是能够让你笑的事，总之过去的就算了。如果真的回头望，看到了平静那还好；万一看到了自己之前的无知笨拙肤浅不成熟愚蠢丑陋黑暗自私无聊不堪的一面时，自己无法相信无法接受自己，可能还得即刻出钱出力，找个地洞钻找个医生整容或找张机票有那么远就躲到那么远去，别继续留在此地丢人现眼...”

我真的有所共鸣。

对于我来说，人生最困难的事不外乎是卸下责任，忘记不堪的从前原谅自己。

笨过也就算了，错的人与事就把它们抛在脑后，用未来烧了算。 剩下不到三分之二的生命不要再重犯旧误才好。

Two Films, One Theme

'Hito ga hito o ai suru koto no dôshiyô mo nasa'(Left) and 'Downloading Nancy' (Right), two different films produced at different years and different countries by different directors in different languages, instinct with a lot of similarities indeed.

The former was directed by Takashii Ishii, the Japanese master of erotic film whereas the first time swedish film director, Johan Renck completed the latter award-winning movie while 'successfully' created uproar during Sundance Film Festival last year. Both of the movies are controversial as they told the stories through the pictorial of twisted BDSM relationships, which is always a taboo subject in this conventional society.

'Hito go hito' shines as the astonishing female actress, Mai Kitajima who played the role of 'Nami Tsuchiya' in the movie radiating with her incredible charm and magical performing skill that are truly tantalizing. The plot revolves around the famous Japanese actress, Nami and her actor husband who abused her mentally besides filing for divorce after hooking up with another young and sexy actress. The movie highlighted Nami mental transformation and the way her marriage drove her emotion off to the edge of the cliff. Her soul was lost in searching of genuine affection, attention and love, which was actually an urge that was never fulfilled. Many viewers were commenting that there were excessive portrayal of fetishistic and S&M actions in the film that made it nothing more than a shallow and unrealistic pretentious pornography. To a certain extend, I agree with the statement but to those extreme haters out there, that's Takashii Ishii, what do you expect? That's his trademark! If you want him to minimize eroticism, that will be like asking Steven Spielberg to stop his consistent references to World War2 in his movies and eliminating his frequent usage of powerful flashlights in dark scene, it doesn't make sense!

Winning the 'Best Music' award at Stockholm Film Festival 2008, 'Downloading Nancy' was hated at the Sundance Film Festival same year even though it was nominated for the 'Grand Jury Prize'. According to the professional movie critic Michael Lerman,

"Audiences fled the theater mid-picture as Nancy and her new companion engaged in depressingly violent sexual activity, padded with an icky sensitivity that makes each viewer feel like they should go home and shower after just being present at the screening".

Maybe, that will be the common response from a regular movie-goer out there. Though, for me, I didn't really bear any negative feeling while watching the film. In the contrast, I found it to be rather interesting as it was based on a true story. The story was simple - Nancy (Maria Bello),a neglected housewife with the history of being sexually abused, indulged in a BDSM relationship with a stranger over the internet and hired him to terminate her unbearably suffering life.

In fact, most of the so-called 'disturbing' scenes were not shown out in the open at all, the director used the related object subliminally to trigger the viewers' wild imagination instead. Honestly, I didn't see enough character development in this movie, Bello was good but not excellent enough for her part in the movie. Throughout the entire film, she only projected herself as an unpresentable and emotionally unstable housewife who gained pleasure and relief from hurting herself. It was really hard for me to feel for her. Perhaps, I carried too much expectation after watching the performance of Mai Kitajima and reading the similar scheme.However, it was still worth-watching as I could imagine myself repeating doing the same thing if having a same heart that lose a quarter part like Nancy. Somehow, it awakes my tendency to discover humans' hidden ugly sides. There's no definite bounding line between good and bad, we should perceive things beyond surface values, which is actually the toughest thing for human nature.

You will need to put away your coloured lense to enjoy the beauty of the two movies, some people are saying that:

"Hito ga hito o ai suru koto no dôshiyô mo nasa' talks about the distorted tragic life of actresses and entertainers that we will never be able to fathom"

"Downloading Nancy reveals the vulnerability of a sexually abused victim and inner struggle of a mundane housewife"

For me, Nami and Nancy had just unveiled the misery of being a woman.

A little Hat Yai Getaway

It's been a while since I last took a break away from life. During the Raya holiday (19th-23rd September), I went on a family trip to the southern part of Thailand, Hat Yai, which is a popular tourism spot for Malaysians and Singaporeans. Most of my friends visited the place for more than once;though, it was my first time to travel in this neighbour country. Yeah, I know, it's a bit late but it's always better than never. Honestly. It was not a good time to travel because it was a holiday season, everywhere were packed and crowded with people so we missed the chance to get around as freely as possible. However, we are all full time workers so besides public holiday, there is no way for us to gather around and hit the road at the same time.

So, now I will let the pictures to tell the stories...

Thailand and Buddhism are inseparable. So, it is a must for us to have some offering, praying for the ease of the heart and family.

Pure white jade goddess GuanYing, the second tallest in the world!

Sight-seeing. The hectic traffic and crazy people.

Lucky enough to visit the new-opening 'Floating Market'!

Super yummy Thai food! Wished that there were less people blocking around!

The unique Pandan leave roses, mom and second uncle. See, we had good time eating!

Couldn't remember the name exactly. But they called it Tiffany transsexual show. Please don't tell me I looked more like a transgender in the picture.

Songka's renowned mermaid. The beach, the soldier, mom, cousin and me.

The rare glass bottle coke and the cherry flavour fisherman's friend candy,which cannot be found in Malaysia!

I won't really call Hat Yai as part of Thailand as there are around 30 percent of Chinese people living there, so the area is kind of 'chinese' as you can find all kinds of Chinese sign boards, and also the shops ans stores with Chinese names. The people there also speak all kinds of Chinese dialects. In many ways, I could see the similarity with Malaysia. The only regret I had would be not able to try out those authentic Thai cusine as my family wasn't adventurous enough, plus there weren't any authentic Thai restaurants at the tourism concentrations.

Nonetheless, I had fun. Even though I am 25 years old already but this is the first family trip that I had with my family members. It may not be the best trip but it was a wonderful getaway from my static life. Hopefully, there will be a next one coming.

心情

我知道很有可能我会被雷劈，但是我真的很恨我爸。

从小到大， 我就一直在幻想没有爸爸的日子会有多好。他一直以来就是一个毫无感激及廉耻心的人， 一直到现在还是一个大包袱；重来就没有为任何人做过什么却无赖的认定这个世界欠了他一切。

我妈是这世上最笨的人；她不懂得改变，不懂得为自己争取应得的基本幸福，像个白痴似的傻傻的从结婚那一天无条件奉献所有； 换来的却是无止境的索求及怨恨。

我真的觉得没有爸爸的世界会更美好。 他不值得被任何人尊敬﹑更不配被唤‘爸爸。

我的童年就因为他而灰暗暗；我对人性的失望也从他而起。

随着岁月的增长，我惊然发现他带给我的影响空前绝后的大，父母的确是造就孩子性格与思想的关键。

我恨我爸。如果你有一个好爸爸，我由衷的恭贺你，因为对于我来说这真的是遥不可及的事。 你必定是前世做尽了好事而修来的福，请珍惜。

Relief

Finally, I have done marking 200 copies of research proposals..

A student wrote the 20 pages proposal for once, the poor tutor have to read through the proposal line by line, correcting all of the errors and then repeated the same action for 199 times in the rest of the proposals.

I was rushing as I have a deadline to meet.

After five days of marking, continuously, I completed the task!

Even though, I felt like crying sometimes in the process of marking, but still, I stayed with it.

In the end...

The alleviation and sense of completion is fulfilling.

What A Relief!

Press Freedom

Here's our tutorial question for today. We are going to talk about media agenda setting theory. Let's read the article below:

Foreign hands in blockades

Foreigners caught on camera mingling with and instigating Penans at Long Nen and Long Bangan blockades

MIRI: It’s confirmed! Foreigners are behind many of the blockades set up by Penans in timber camps in the state.

It has long been suspected that many foreign environmentalists and socalled conservationists had been instigating and encouraging the natives to erect blockades and disrupt logging activities, though they had always denied their involvement.
But yesterday four foreigners, including two women, were seen among protesters manning blockades in Ulu Baram.

This contradicts claims by local non-governmental organisations (NGOs) that foreigners have never meddled in the internal affairs of the state.

The foreign nationals, believed to be an Australian, an Indian and two Dutch women, were seen at an access road at Long Bangan and Long Nen in Ulu Baram, orchestrating the protesters with signboards for pictures to be taken.

They were also seen mingling freely among the natives and giving out instructions.
The blockade at Long Nen erected about 6am was followed by another blockade about 2pm at Long Bangan, with the foreign nationals present at both places in an apparently coordinated arrangement and timing.

The wooden blockade structures were simple but the message was clear as the camps set up at the respective sites were manned by Penan men, women and children with the aim of disrupting logging and reforestation activities in the area.

Three major logging companies are operating in the area.

A logging camp manager yesterday lodged a report at the Long Lama police station about the activities of the four foreigners.

The report said they were seen together with the natives at the blockade sites. Marudi police chief DSP Jonathan Jalin, when contacted, said police were aware of a few foreigners at the blockade sites.

“They were also seen with the Penans in Long Lama and we are interested to find out who they are and what they are doing in the jungle with the Penans,” he said.

The protesters yesterday handed an unsigned written list of demands and notice to stop all lorries from passing through to a logging camp manager, to the foreigners and two journalists from The Borneo Post and See Hua Daily News who were at the scene. The group also handed out copies of a news clipping on about 3,000 Penans in Belaga facing starvation due to crop failure as claimed by Deputy Minister of Rural and Regional Development Datuk Joseph Entulu recently. ( article taken from Borneo Post )

Media are good at using framing technique to set the agenda. They never told us how to think, but what to think about by designing, editing and using the other angle of the message to tell the fantasy kind of story.

Who on earth is going to care about the minority and supressed group in the country?

Obviously, nobody.