I feel so bad today. There's like a big hole in my heart. I hate that kind of freaking bloody feeling.
I want to leave here. Everything sucks. It sucks so much and I really hate it. That's enough. I have had enough. I am really not a maid, pay me like a maid if you want me to become one. You don't have full control over my life, I hate it. Please discuss things with me before making any decisions.
I want to leave and be a student again. I have had enough experience. I just want to get the hell out of this program.
Me ain't slave... NOT EVEN CLOSE.
Though, it's not that bad. I feel better after thinking of the innocent chubby cheeks. I am sure that I will miss the little smiling face of my angelic prince. He's way too cute. A completely spoiled kid, whom I love with my entire heart surprisingly. There's like a chemistry between us. Well, fate again, I guess.
Now, thinking of saying goodbye, I could feel the uneasiness. How could I?
I will miss his sweet childlike coice, whining, crying, smiling, laughing and teasing... and...
-The way he call me 'Chia'.
-The way he complained about his sister to me after being bullied.
-The way he asked me to carry him to bed.
-The way he asked me to surround him with his little teddy bears.
-The way I kept vigil over him when he's sick.
-The way he played with me.
I want to leave here. Everything sucks. It sucks so much and I really hate it. That's enough. I have had enough. I am really not a maid, pay me like a maid if you want me to become one. You don't have full control over my life, I hate it. Please discuss things with me before making any decisions.
I want to leave and be a student again. I have had enough experience. I just want to get the hell out of this program.
Me ain't slave... NOT EVEN CLOSE.
Though, it's not that bad. I feel better after thinking of the innocent chubby cheeks. I am sure that I will miss the little smiling face of my angelic prince. He's way too cute. A completely spoiled kid, whom I love with my entire heart surprisingly. There's like a chemistry between us. Well, fate again, I guess.
Now, thinking of saying goodbye, I could feel the uneasiness. How could I?
I will miss his sweet childlike coice, whining, crying, smiling, laughing and teasing... and...
-The way he call me 'Chia'.
-The way he complained about his sister to me after being bullied.
-The way he asked me to carry him to bed.
-The way he asked me to surround him with his little teddy bears.
-The way I kept vigil over him when he's sick.
-The way he played with me.
-The way he banged me against the wall like a little football player.
-The way he talked to his little soldiers.
-The way he asked about each and everything in this universe.
-The way I dressed him every morning and every night.
-The way I fixed him dinner and supper.
-The way he said 'please' and 'thank you'.
-The way he asked me why I was feeling down.
-The way he said good night.
-The way he talked to his little soldiers.
-The way he asked about each and everything in this universe.
-The way I dressed him every morning and every night.
-The way I fixed him dinner and supper.
-The way he said 'please' and 'thank you'.
-The way he asked me why I was feeling down.
-The way he said good night.
-The way he told me everything that happened to him in school or daddy's house.
-The way I tucked him in every night...
And, the way he cried in my warm embrace after being beaten up by his sister...
Each and everything...
JESUS CHRIST!!!!
He is NOT my son...
But, sometimes, I really feel like he is MINE!
And, the way he cried in my warm embrace after being beaten up by his sister...
Each and everything...
JESUS CHRIST!!!!
He is NOT my son...
But, sometimes, I really feel like he is MINE!
I never know that I could be that loving to another human being besides my own family members!
FOR GODSAKE!!!
I have to stay AWAY! I have to say goodbye very soon...
HELL
FOR GODSAKE!!!
I have to stay AWAY! I have to say goodbye very soon...
HELL
4 comments:
Don really know what to say.
Anyhow, he is already part of your memories, therefore he'll always be wif you for the rest of your life.
It's all right, friend. Jus go ahead to do what u want. Always by your side.
well, sometimes i use to have the same feeling like u... but most of the time... i think i should move forward... like lampfly said... thats the part of memories we can store but nothing much... move on ya.luv ya.
Heh! Time makes people grow fonder and soon enough, you will realize how has the person seep into your life without you knowing. Hehe!
Whatever it is, good luck and do what you think is best for you.
lampfly, linly, jason,
hmm.. yup thanks guys. a real feeling will grow after a period of time. he isn't my kid. so, just a memory. i have to move on. this is definitely not a life for me. I want to spread my wings and fly again.
yupyup. fly awayyyy.
miss you all.
muaks
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