Jobless, Useless

I had my last paper about two weeks ago. Ya, I have graduated. Fresh graduate who is in the status of jobless. Gosh, like Tasha and all of my classmates, I have been trying my best to get an ideal job as soon as possible. I hate the feeling having no purpose and doing nothing in life. As such, I am kinda desperate. Tasha laughed at me for simply attending the walk-in interview, which I wasn't even sure about the position I was applying for.Yes, it sounds funny, but I couldn't just sit here and wait for a job to fall from the sky. *sigh. It's a painful experience...

Yesterday, I purposely went to Singapore for one walk-in interview. As usual, the stupid walk-in interview took me hours of waiting. I hate that, but no choice. The worst of all was that the company actually only interested in those applicants, who had at least two years of working experience. The person-in-charged said in the briefing session,

"Frankly, speaking, we are here to employ candidates with at leat two years of wokring experience. If you are a fresh graduates, we are sorry to tell you that it is pretty hard for you to be employed..."

I was dissapointed after hearing his words. Anyway, the interviewer was a nice person and I was thankful for that. The stupiest thing was that I forgot to tell him more about my experience in working as a journalist last year. I should have told him more. He seemed to be interested. Gosh, mayeb I felt hopeless and that time and I was too calm and too cool. I chatted with him, casually about many things that are irrelevant, instead of me entering Dean list or gaining front-page bylines and got in touch with prominents. Silly me!

Anyhow, I guess it is impossible for me to get the job. The other interviewer didnt even utter a word after knowing that I am a fresh graduate without any real working experience.*sigh..

That's not fair, yes, I know that you all need employees with great experience, the problme here is that if all of you continuously rejecting fresh graduates, where are we going to learn things and gain pratical knnowledge? I am deeply stressed, I felt like I am really useless. What for studying hard? What for getting good grades? The result remains the same.

I couldn't see my future. It is blurred, hiding in fog. Mother said that I am picky so it will be hard for me to get a good job. Am I? Maybe, but I don't think that I am going to apply for the jobs that are totally out of my field. Besides, I wouldn't accept a job, which underpaid me, in an exaggerating way, too! Perhaps, I am choosy. :(

I have too many 'what if' in my mind right now. What if I am not going to get any jobs in the coming three months? what if I am still jobless in year 2007? what if ... What if...? Stressful. Pressured.

Is there any way for me to get rid of the difficulties I am having now? Can somedoy out there pull me out from this bed of thorns? God. Suddenly, I am thinking of hypnotism. Yeah. Can it be a way for me to get rid of my difficulties? Sometimes, somebody told me that it can be a method to help you to chase away your sadness, troubles and so on. But, in fact, at that moment. Maybe. After coming back to the reality , the truths would haunt you again..

Yes, hypnotism. Heard about that? According to the wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia, Dave Elman defined hypnosis as "a state of mind in which the critical faculty of the human mind is bypassed, and selective thinking established."

Out of the blue, I am obsessed by the idea of hypnotism, wondering if it is really true. I heard and read some information days ago, some of the data stated that hypnotism actually is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy, which means that when a person believe in a an idea strongly, he or she will try the best to make it come true.

So, this means that, the state of hypnosis is actually created by humans themselves? So, are they aware of what they were doing? Is the situation totally controlled by the hypnotist? So, this means that the subject actually has memories even in the state of hypnosis, but they just choose to forget about it or left them behind?

I guess I am crazy to think of these! Stressful, insane! *sigh!

Any job for me! HELP!