The Hardest Thing

The hardest thing in this world is to communicate with another mankind.

Don't you think so?

Here, I am not talking about those amiabilities or random conversations with those, whom we barely know. I am refering to those who are close to you, like your friends, your family members, your greatest pals... I used to hate people who are hypocritical, I detest the way they interact with others, I was sicked of their fake kindness and smiles...However, if you really consider it from another aspect, isn't it a better way to maintain a general type of relationship with others? Sometimes, keeping a distance is the panecea for every relationships problems...

When you really care about a particular person, you tend to take him or her words seriously, the problem here is that the particular mankind would dissapoint you in someway. This is not a kind of generalization. The chances are there, nobody can run away from it.

Meanwhile, if you really care about a person, deep inside your heart, his or her simple gestures, responses, attitude can mean a lot to you. That's owing to my own experience, maybe it is due to my sensitivity, but I really take things very seriously, only if the particular person I am interacting with is special to me. That's why, I could even get hurt through those non-verbal communication. Nonetheless, I will never show it! No worries for that. I won't do something that will spolit my image. :P

One of my pals once noted that,

"You always treat others nicely. Sometimes far beyond the way it should be. It is not really good because others would turn to rely on you for everything and they wouldn't cherish it! Ya, take things for granted! And, the utmost stupid thing is that you never expect anything from your friends when you are deep down in troubles..."

"In the contrast, you bear high-expectation for your own performances in almost every aspects! Come on, I know that you are truly a perfectionist and individualist, but not everything in life can be perfect... Don't care about others and don't take things too seriously. Sometimes, you have to live up your life for yourself, rather than others..."

My dear pal, thanks for your advice. In the circle of relationship, be it within couple or friends, I have not much expectations...Even if it is a one-way street, I resigned my life to lot. By the way, I am not treating everyone equally good, I guess there is someone, who is really unique but I tend to screw up the relationship and keeping our hearts, further away, like falling apart in two different planets. I don't mean it...But, sometimes, I think this is due to the frames we set on each other. We tend to 'frame' each other in an intended way so once we accidentally step out from the lines, we bear grudges toward each others. There are too many times, we keep the problems in the dark, pretending that there isn't anything 'serious'. This leads to the growing of thorns, which prick my heart, sometimes...

My dear pal, things are easier to be said than done. My life doesn't belong to me. It is not mine. I owe my mother damn a lot of 'debts', which I could never ever return in my entire life... perhaps, I will be freed, after getting this degree. I would strive something for myself, pursue my very own dream...

Yeah.. as free as a bee or bird? Well, whatever!

No matter how, life is still going on. Let's cheers for tomorrow.