Finally

--Finally, we setteled down in Santa Ana. We got jobs after cycling for miles. Not very good-paying job but that was a good start. The bosses and co-workers were nice. We were happy. In the meanwhile, we are looking for some better payment job.

--Finally, we got into school in Fall. After all the hardship in applying, we got what we want-live as a student again, having our major in Marriage and Family Therapy. The school is stupid, still, we are happy cause at least we are students now. Meanwhile, we are thinking of changing to a school in LA, any schools should be better than ours.

--Finally, we changed the Visa. Not a stuoid J1 au pair anymore. We are F1 student in US now, we felt relieve.

--Finally,We lead our regular routine by going to work, then doing homework then school. Sometimes, hainging out with each other. we have been to Universal Studion, and Disneyland. Of course, we tried a lot of good food. We are always bombared by assignments, rushing to get the work done till 3 or 4am . Though, we always have ways to entertain ourselevs. 'Finding enjoyment in a bed of thorns", that's what we have been doing.

--Finally, We got chance to mix with people from all over the world. Most of them were super nice to us. The friendshipd grow. Sometimes, we feel that we are truly blessed. Fate bring us together. We are thankful for having them, who lend their hands when we need them.

--Finally, We got a car. It's a 1994 buick. It's an old car but it's still in good condition. We got it from a Dutch grandparents at 250 US dollar, which is the cheapest price that nobody would believe. Then, we spent hundreds for fixing, hundreds for insurance and regirstration. Not oo bad, the engine is still good. I think we love the car. We drove it to work and school and I have been practicing my skill, so that I can pass my driving test this time. I know I am sucked in driving, but, I think someday I will really get the license, which I have been thinking about ever since last year.

--Finally, My brother got married. My Sister-in-law is going to have the baby next year, April. It's a baby girl. Now, my parents are are busying thinking about the name for the baby. I just wish that the baby can be healthy and happy and kind. That's the 3 most important elements in life. Protocol's going home in two weeks for Spring break. I will be alone but I guess I will be fine.

-- Finally, the semester is going to end in two weeks. Protocol said that she will be back from home earlier. "We shall make a trip to Las Vegas". I was so excited and started searching on the packages to LV. I recalled the trips we had in Washington DC, NYC, Boston and so on. Yeah, it's always good to travel with a good partner who enjoys life and living at the present.

--We registered for Spring classes. At the moment, planning to change the school. We were dreaming about completing the study and get a related job in US for a while, before returning home. It was a wonderful plan, I guess I smiled in in my dream that night.

--Finally, we thought that everything should be ok , at leats for a period of time, laughing at joking abiut each other, waiting for the semester to end.

--Finally, went to a Whiskey Tasting party yesterday night. It was fulled of white people who are originally from Dutch, Ireland and Sweden or America. Everybody was curious about my background. After repeating the same answer for thousands times, I found the balcony and hid. From the horizon, I saw the freeway, and the city of Riverside and LA. No moon, the stars were glittering in the sky. It was 45F yesterday night. I felt my inner organs were shaking. "Are you cold?" Somebody was asking. "Nope." I replied with a smile. I realised that the sky is too wide and endless. However, maybe the sky here doesn't belong to me.

--Finally, I have real financial problem. Family refused to help this time. Mom asked me to pack and go home. I cried to sleep yesterday night, maybe it's a sign of weakness, but I guess it was good to let go some confused sorrow. Where the life is going to take me? or should I lead myself to somewhere?

--Finally, getting back from brunch in Rowland High. The food was good, I ate a lot and was surprised at my own appetite during depression. When I was walking to the parking lot, I felt the sunlight, but the cold wind was blowing. Fall is here, Winter is coing. I left California last year in January. Is the history going to repeat? I guess it's a spell, or curse?

--Finally, I am sitting in front of my favourite laptop, sipping green tea and updating my blog. I seem to be only posting about my agony and confusion nowadays. *sheesh* Not a good sign. But, I guess I will feel better after venting it out. I drink my green tea, it's green. I think I like it.

Wedding Bells

The die is cast, come weal, come woe
Two lives are joined together,
For better or for worse, the link
Which naught but death can sever.
The die is cast, come grief, come joy.
Come richer, or come poorer,
If love but binds the mystic tie,
Blest is the bridal hour.

--Mary Weston Fordham

October 14, 2007 (Sunday). I heard the sounds of the wedding bells...the melody went across the boundary of region, passing through the pacific ocean...

The joy, love and blessing...

Jubilant Dinner...

You and Me, Now and Forever...

Tears trickled down my cheeks, when I was looking at the photos. I missed my dearest brother's wedding. Once in a lifetime, I missed it forever...

Deep inside my heart, I pray for the couple, may you two smothered by bliss, showered by love, overwhelmed by happinesss...

Not asking for fairy-tale-like happily ever after, but eternal companionship, with fidelity and dedication.

I wasn't appearred in any of the photos, I absented from the whole ceremony. This is a regret, which will stay with me forever...

The Moon

I like looking at the moon. It doesn't necessary to be a full moon, I don't like the shape of circle that much.

Moon radiates with gentle warm light, appearing like a loving mother in the sky.

The strong wind was blowing; but, the moon was hanging still in the sky, exuding amiable charm from the darkness.

Walking along the sidewalk, inhaling the cold air.
Wind moved across the face. Though, it's hard to feel the freeze, the love of the moon was overwhelming.

I love the moon. Thank you. MUAKS.

To Linly

I would like to dedicate this post to one very special friend, Linly. First of all, I have to apolozise to her, I am sorry, Linly, I was forced to steal one photo from your blog as this post is written just for you. If you detest this idea, please feel free to tell me, I will take the photo down.

She's a friend whom I have 'really' known for like one year. Knowing her is actually a miracle and destiny, I guess. It's funny to recall ours friendship. In fact, she's a friend, whom I have never met in real life. Now, lend me your ears and I will tell you guys about our story.

August 2006, after knowing the exact flight and departure date to US, I was kinda nervous and anxious about everything. The unseen future with numerous scary possibilities freaked me out. To ease my heart, I logged into a special au pair Yahoo group created by the agency, posting some of my worries while searching if there's anyone out there who would have the same departure date as mine. Unfortunately, I was destinied to fly alone, though, I saw one girl posted some of her concerns, too and she was going to fly for US on the 11th September, it's like two weeks ahead of me. Immediately, I wrote an e-mail to her, asking her about the feeling and preparation. She replied with a lot of kind words as we shared the same mixed feeling of leaving homeland and staying with weird Americans.

At last, she reached Michigan. Still, we kept in touch. After two weeks, I reached California. Then, I got to talk with her over the phone. Out of the blue, in one of the conversations we had, we talked about our background information. Then, HELL! Only at that particular moment, I knew that she actually had her study in the same university as mine, and we actually were in the same faculty. And, we studied the same course but different major.Then, I asked for photos-exchange and discovered the utmost shocking thing-We had certain subjects in the same classes before and she sat besides me in the lecture hall before!

Starting at that moment, it's hard for me to not believe in something we call 'Destiny'. Life's really amazing, isn't it? She was once so near to me but I didn't really care. After travelling more than 9000 miles away from home, I actually get to know her in this foreign land. The seed of friendship was growing rapidly since then. We talked on the phone and chatted online. She tried to be there for me when I had to deal with horrible Americans. She showed her concern and care during my lonely ThanksGiving and Christmas. Besides, she tried her best to help me throughout the rematching process. I was really touched.

Like what she had mentioned in my comment's section, "I chased you all the way from California, New York, New Jersey, and Georgia..." Yeah, she tried her very best to meet me but we couldn't do it due to the discrepancy of dates, holiday and also air tickets. Later on, I moved from West to East, and then East to South. Now I am back to the West Coast again, still, I hasn't seen her in real life yet. Unfortunately, I am not sure when will I ever have chance to see her as she flew back to Malaysia weeks ago. 0_o

I am definitely not happy about everything. I am sorry for my frequent moving. I really want to see you in real life. Remember the time when I was in georgia? We tried so hard to plan for a trip together. Florida, Texas, South or North carolina... We searched online, planning to meet each other at the airport. But then, due to the costly expenses, we painfully call it off.

So, now she's like living in the other planet, far from reaching. I know that she has a hard time readjusting her life, the reversed culture shock was killing her. Though, no worries Linly, things will be alright. You are the brave tortise right? You will certainly outrun those stupid rabbits. Hang on, I miss you. You are one of the special friend whom I will keep in my heart forever. Maybe when I am back home someday, I can see you in real life. Be prepared for a big warm hug. MUAKS.

All the best in life. US is a place for us to realise most of ours dream. You have most of yours came true, that's a blessing. :)

LOVE YOU!!

23

I had my first birthday in US days ago. I didn't really do anything special on that day as there was nothing really for me to celebrate about. I don't believe in birthday and I always think that I have only one birthday in my entire life, which was the exact day I was born 23 years ago. Besides, after moving to Santa Ana, I have been really busy. Working and having my master study at the same time, kind of exciting huh?! Yeah...0_o. After getting off from work I gotta work on my assignments and journals. So, the result- I never get chance to have a good sleep and do my own stuff. I am always in a state of exhaustion.

Though, my silly friend, Protocol always remember that. She insisted that we should go out and do something fun. So, we went to 'The block', watched a movie, had some shopping, had some drink and then late night dinner. It's just regular, but I enjoyed every moment. I couldn't explain that, just it's really nice to have a good friend who insisted on celebrating your birthday. She bought me a purse, a ring and a cute skirt. In returning her kindness, I gave her a kiss. MUAKS. Protocol, my life will defnitely incomplete without you. Love you.

Then I have a surprise. A friend from West Virginia sent me a gift. When I picked up the parcel at the post office, I thought that it's going to be something general. But, who knows? I got a REAL surprise! When I opened the parcel, I found one stuff animal inside, that was a guinea pig! OH MY GOSH! It looks exactly the same to my previos pet, 'Piggy'. Thanks Will, I appreciate that, a lot. Thank you! Thanls for being so sweet, thoughtful and always be there for me. That's the best present ever! Thanks. All the best to you. :P

MY Piggy! Yeah! This piggy will stay with me forever! Awesome.

So, what now? hmm.. I am 23 years old right now. How time flies, I couldn't believe it. I am getting older and older, it's kinda depressing. Though, like what Protocol said, "We don't have to feel bad for gettig older, as we are doing something meaningful in life and we have learn and experienced so much if compare to others..."

That's true... I am happy of who I am. I love my life at the moment, it allows me to really try something different and I have freedom to do whatever I want. Life's in our hand. I think in some way, if you really try your best, you can have some control on it.

So, sweet 23! Yeah! My life ahead will get better!

Again, Goodbye. Hi, New Life

There are too many 'Goodbyes' in our life. Again, on 2ND September 2007 (Sunday), I had to wave my hands at my friends in Georgia. Thank you, guys. I can never thank you all enough, I remember every single little thing you guys have done for me, that's a kind of warmth, which I am able to sense it, even at the moment I am jotting down my thoughts here.

Life's fulled of surprise. Or like the quote from the movie, which happened to be Chloe's favourite, "Life's a box of chocolate, you never know what you are going to get next..." That's so true, isn't it?

Right now, I am in Santa Ana, California. It's a nice place, to be honest, I like it alot. Somebody once said that, 'if you hate moving from places to places, you might as well go back to Malaysia, don't bother to stay here in US'. That's kinda mean in someway but it's a fact though. Life's a journey, it's never a destination. I love the saying. So, right now, I carry on my journey in CA.

Living is a bliss. You are the artist of your life. Sometimes, we have to throw away logical sense of design or conventional rule, use some random colours to paint it, who knows? You might be able to produce another 'Monalisa Smile', to be precise, should be a better one... You never know.

I am turning 23 years old soon. My very first birthday in US. Well, screw that, who cares about birthday? I don't. It's just that life's never come back. Recalling my year in US from a distant at a whole, I have no regrets. I have many of my dreams came true.

I guess I have more things that I have to deal with right now. So, hang on. As long as you believe in it, there are hope.

Yeah! I see the light! :p

Geogia

I have been here for one month, even though I did complain a little bit about me not liking Georgia before. Though, that happened when I was really cranky. That wasn't real. Well, in fact even though Georgia is not that 'happening' if compare to the huge states like New York or California, it's not really that bad. :p

There is quite a huge Asian population in Atlanta, GA. There's not so much going on here but still, the 4 main attractions here, 'The Stone Mountain', 'The coke museum', 'The Georgia Aquarium' and 'CNN' attract quite a lot of tourists from the states nearby. So, that day, my roommates'(the loving married couple whom I mentioned in my previous post)parents came visit. I joined them in their one day trip! I went to the three attractions besides 'CNN'. *sigh. My friends' parents weren't interested in that. haha.. too bad, never mind, maybe I can visit there sometimes later. :P

OK. So, cut the crap. The first destination-- Stone Mountain. Basically, it's a mountain that was formed by a gigantic stone. There was an amazing carve against the huge stone. Now, enjoy the photos.

I took this photo because of the extremely hot guy with tattoo on his shoulder. MAN! He was super hot! He was tanned and have six packs on his stomach. Wow... I tailed him along and caught the photo!

After the exhausting climb under the super hot sun in this summer, it's good to have a cup of creamy ice coffee from Starbuck, served by a hot guy, O_0, wasn't able to catch his photo! Bah, I wasn't happy...

The loving couple with lemon. Aren't they cute? :) I love them a lot, super nice people.

Before setting off to the coke museum, we had some little extra time so we chilled out a little bit in a park nearby. The summer in Georgia was killing everybody. So, there was a man made waterfall in the open area. Wow... Go have fun!

Second Destination--The Coke Museum. It's a museum of coke. It was an awesome place as you got to see cool 4D movies, history of cokes, the making of coke, the advertisement of coke, the greatness of coke, and drink as much as coke as you want to, in that museum! It's all about coke! Yeah!

Here's the weird coke from Italy. It tastes BITTER! Gosh! It's so unique. Coke from different countries taste differently! You guys have to try it!

Final Destination! The Georgia Aquarium. Hmmm. This is an enormous aquarium. But, I prefer the one in Boston, which I went with Protocol. We got to see penguins, but not here in Georgia. :P

Personally, I love the last picture the most. I was kinda emotional when I saw the huge whale swimming behind the glass.

"Where's your home, my big whale? You belong to the deep and mystic blue sea... I want to be like him.. I want to turn into a big fish, but I want to swim in the sea.. not in the aquarium..."

Anyways, it was a fulfilling trip. :) My friends and their parents had been really nice to me. I can never thank them enough. I love you all! :P