sadness

This is a very sad day. The saddest I have since I been here in US. I cried, cried and cried.

I guess I am not compatible to the job. I can never take care of kids well, espcially American kids. I guess I have made a huge mistake for coming here. I think so... Is there a turning back? I don't know. Should I rematch?? I don't know, nothing I have done seem to be right. I hate that kind of feeling. I hate that...

There is no one I can rely on right now, only myself. I have been trying my best, doing A LOT of things which were impossible to me. But then again, maybe it's time to rethink my deicision. Ya, I know the previous au pair is good and she can do almost anything. Too bad, I am not her and I can NEVER be her. You guys shouldn't ignore my effort.

You can never be in my shoes even though you said you understand... The rejection, the frustration, the depression...

Gosh..Maybe it's time for a change.

Ducks' Pond

I am living in a sub-urban area in California . As a result, there are a lot of parks, ponds, forests and some other greatest creation of mother nature here. I love the ducks' pond and I enjoy taking Jake, the huge retriever with me whenver I go there. It's actually a hiking area. I would love to share with you all the beautiful pictures of the ducks and waterfall. Well, according to my host mum, Pam, the ducks will be here every autumn, before the weather turning cold. :) The good thing about people in US, especially here is southern park of CA, is that they really treasure the environment. Nothing is polluted and it is nearly impossible for you to find any pieces of rubbish in any park, ponds or hiking area. All of the areas are well-prepserved. I love that! It's totally different from what we have in Malaysia.

I love those ducks. So I would love to share with you all the pictures. Enjoy.

New York City

:) Like what I have promised, here's some of the photes I took in New York City last week!! Enjoy!!!




WOW! Have a look of the four pictures above, then you will know the REAL meaning of CITY! Yeah! New York City. I bet all of you should pay a visit there, well, at least once in a life time!! :P



The 3 pictures above have shown the greatest theater in New York City. :) Aren't they amazing? I guess one Chinese Opera or drame was being played there. :)


I learnt about media conglomentation in Politic class last year and I heard about the very few media owner in US. I remember that MR Chong told us about the ESPN channel which has developed tremendously, to a stage where they have their own restaurants, pubs, channels, magazines retail shops and so on. I witnessed it myself. The 2 photoes above actually has shown a group of ESPN guys shooting some programme in the Time Square of New York City. I passed by the restaurants and pubs, too. :P But, I wasn;t able to snap those pictures. hehe. Enjoy these. :P

The Guy above was our tour guide when we, a a group of au pairs had our New York City trip on 4th October 2006. He's kinda cool, isn't he? :p

Close your eyes and imagine. The buildings used to be the symbol of New York City... But on that particular day in year 2001., everything dissapeared.. It's a sad story of US. The area has turned into a construction side right now...

Here's 4 cool firefighters we met in front of the previous twin towers areas. Many girls took photoes with them. I guess we had lighted up their night.:P

The picture above is actually a memoir of those fire fighters who sacrificed their lives to rescue the victims in 911 event...

The girl in the picture above is the greatest friend whom I have known during my Orientation in Connecticut. I was all alone as not many of the au pairs there willing to make friend with Asian girl. :P I guess I am lucky to know her, Christina, who's from Germany. :) Love ya!

Hey, Here's another Germany girl. Isn't she sweet? wow..I guess I shouldn't took picture with her. Sitting beside her, I am like an ugly duckilng. I hate that. :) Anyway, I love the way she talks and smiles. :) REALLY.

From Malaysia to New York

Wow, Yong! There you go. Here's a picture I took in flight. I was flying with Korean Air, flew across the different time zone and crashed into the entire new land. I expereince the instant transform from night to day. The picture below I took it when I flew through the pacific ocean...and passed by the continent of Chicago. I love the picture. I flew ubove the cloud...That are soft, white and look sweet. :)


This is a photo which was taken from my room in the hotel in Connecticut. It's a city which is about one hour away from New York City. :) It's a love morning and that was my first day in US. Cool, isn't it? Hwne you see the glimmer of sunlight shining through the clouds, it means that there are hope.. :P


The picture below is the picture which I took in the evening, somewhere aourn the hotel. I was going out to search for an adapter with one Germany girl. The houses and building in US is totally different from what we have in Malaysia. :) I love the structure here, :P


Arggg... There are so many pictures I want share with you guys... I have too many of them but this Mac is stupid!! I don't know whathappen to it but I couldn't upload any pictures anymore. Gosh! So sorry. You all will only be able to view the three as above. I will try to upload more next time.. I have sooo many of them, espcially those I took in New York City. Yeah!

Next time. all the best ya! muak.

Autumn...

I have been longing to experience autumn in a beautiful foreign country. Now, this dream come true.. yes.. California is such an amazing place.. espcially the place I am currently staying in. It's a sub-urban area. The landscapes would simply capture your heart.. They are like the scenes in the movies. The road, the side way, the trees, the forest, the park, the ponds. There are bunches of wild rabbits hopping here and there around the park early in the morning. There are falling leaves in this romantic season. I witnessed the read leaves top of the tree. I am not sure if they are maple leaves, but they really resemble it. :)

These three pictures were taken when I walked Jake, the sweet dog to the park and pond this evening. I got nothing better to do so I walked around the area and I couldn't stop myself from taking those pictures. Of course, I have a lot of them but I chose the best three. Come on, it really takes time to resize them, plus I am using a MAC. Yes, Mac computer that we used in advertising class. It's not that user friendly. But I have to use it right now. :)

Autumn is always my favourite season. It's a season for you to miss those you love them dearly. Unfortunately, I am here in California. I missed the Mooncake Festival with my beloved ones. I saw the leaves falling and I suddenly thought of Kenjo. Before departing to US, she sent me a card and she told me that she would be glad if I could send her some leaves right here. I guess she's hoping to receive a red maple leaf. :) Iwill try to get one for you. But when it reach there, I am sure that they will turn into a dry brown leaf. The colour wouldn't be that great anymore. :) Well, you can see the pics here first. I am still trying to adjust my life to the typical US lifestyle. By the way, before getting my driving license here, I can do nothing. Ya, like a prisoner. Gosh...

I am wondering if you guys are fine there? Mama, Papa, Yong, Tash, Chloe, Lampfly, Protocol, Nelly, Kenjo, ChauYen.. Yes everyone that I know of. I miss everything in Malaysia,. In this season of fall, I miss you all. But like what I have said, I want to be strong, I want to be really really strong. I want to overcome all thsoe hardship and return to my homeland as a brand new whole person. I will be fine. It's just that, when I was walking the dog along the street, I stepped on those falling leaves... I was thinking, is Malaysia still pretty much the same? Is Mama doing fine? Is Yong getting better in Singapore? I juse want everything to be fine.. I just wish that the leaves would tell the wind to send them my care and love, when it blows and makes the leaves whirl...

Hi, I am in california!

I am here, in california. Ya, I reach here safe and sound.

Wow, I flew for more than 22 hours to reach New York, with a connecting flight in between at Korea. I experience a lot of things throughout the journey and also the orientation in New York. I just wish that I can store each and every single word I have heard in the 'lectures' in my mind, so that I will be able to use it whenever I need it when I have to take the full responsibility to take care of the three lovely boys.

:P By the way, I have visited several hotspots in New York.. I want to upload the pictures for you all to see it but nto right now..I am using the MAC and frankly speaking I am nto really good at it. I will try to do that days ago, when I have got used to it. I saw the twin towers, which turned in to a construction side right now, a lot of tall buildings. That's really cool. That's what a City suppose to look like. Besides, I took some pictures up in the sky when in flight... Wow, those clouds beneath me, truly resemble soft and sweet candy that I would love to have a bite.

After the four days of useful orientation in the hotel situated in stamford CT, I was in the plane again, flew for about 8 hours to reach LA, California. So basically, I spent a lot of time flying here and there.. and I have to say that, I hate to be in flights, it sucks.. Luckily I was rejected for the job of flight attendant.

I stopped at Korea for 2 hours when I was on m way to New York last Monday. I got quite a lot of experience in the connecting flight, too. I wish to share but not right now, I gotta tidy up my room. My clothes are still in the huge suitcases.

I am only going to meet the kids this afternoon. I am really nervous. What shall I say to them.. the parents are really nice people. I had no expextations before reachinf but now it's like having more and more surprises. I wish that I will be fine with the kids. Let's pray so..

The retriever, Jake, is snoring beside me now. He is such a cute dog. I love him at the very fist moment i met him at the doorstep. He greeted my by licking and smelling my hand. I love kind animals and humans. :)

I think I really need a lot of luck now.. Pray for me, my all friends. :) seeya.

ciao.

Truly A New Chapter in Life

I will start my journey to KLIA three hours later. Ya, my passport is ready, my Visa is ready, my luggages are ready, my e-ticket's here, all things are ready, besides my heart. I think...

I am here to say goodbye to my friends. ByeBye my beloved friends...

Bye Tasha, Chauyen, Chloe, Kenjo, Nelly, ChunYet, Khaishin, Kathy... Well, just everyone I know of... Byebye.. I will miss you all.. take care and see you all soon. MUAKS.

Bye my beloved 'BaoBao', 'BeiBei', brother Teck, Mama, Papa and my dearest guiding angel...

I will miss you all...Time flies.. I WILL BE BACK.

I have my new chapter in life, truly a brand new chapter... Wish me good luck!