Dear Mama

I know that you are sad. I know that you have been secretly shedding tears ever since you knew my depature date. I know that I am your dearest daughter whom you care with your heart since the day I was born. I know you couldn't bear to see me taking any risk. I know you always want me to be safe and close to you. I know all these... Mummy.
I am sorry for the agony I brought. I have been feeling bad, really really bad, too. I am always emotional and I couldn't imagine myself saying goodbye to you at the airport, leaving you and papa with brother for one year at home, without my concern and care. Though, Mama... It's time for your little girl to grow up, I have to encounter hardship, difficulties and predicaments to grow strong and achieve total independence. I have to spread my wings so that they would get used to the uncertainties in life and learn the way of fighting with them. I MUST be strong so that I can protect you, pampering you under my wings, sheltering you from wind, cold and storm when you are powerless to do so.

Just one year Mama. I thank you for your permission.

I love you and I will be back after one year, providing you with best things in life: love, care, protection, and the greatest companionship.

Hobby

Besides indulging in reading, watching a lot of CSI DVD these days, the things that I love to do during my leisure time is colouring. Yes, colouring. Using colour pencils and fill in the lovely pictures with my favoutire colour, creating a mass of cooour world!!

Hehe, you might be thinking, Coloring!! OH... Kids' doings. Nono. That's not true. There is a huge knowledege behind this art, it's not merely about filling in the colours. This hobby actually relates to the sensitivity towards the matching of colours and they skill you have in filling them layer by layer into the white spcace. I can spend whole day doing nothing besides colouring those cute colouring album.

them by using the camera, and the result isn't that good due to the lighting and resolution problem. Anyway, Just some samples.. Wanna see more... hehe. come and visit me, I will show you all of my great products of art!! :P

I love the mouse. :P hehe as I have been rearing hamsters even since I was 16 years old!
Again, a mouse riding on a duck! It's the best of them four... Too bad, you all can't see it for real.. It's really nice.
This one isn't that good. But I love the donkey.

This monkey on plane picture hasn't complete. I will do it after coming back form US. hehe, :P

22nd's Presents

Besides the angel's gift, I received three lovely presents from my dearest friends and cousin. LAMPFLY sent me a pair of socks and a sweet little handmade card. She wrote in the little space: Warm socks with warm wishes, may you have memorable experience in the foreign land..."

KENJO posted me a card. The rectangle white and blue card in the photo above. she wrote quite a lot of words inside, i won't stated here. Just wanna tell her that, "Thank you so much. I love your card and it's a surprise to me! :) Your words gave me strength, really. I love your card. It's a kind of blessing I have before leaving. :)

My cousin bought me the table lamp, it's really pretty. I love it so much. Seashells on boat, symbolizing everything plain sailing. :) I will be fine under her sweet wishes. Thank you. My cousin's dad, who is my uncle gave me a HUGE red packet. It's really HUGE and I still think that I don't deserve that. MUAKS! Thanks uncle, I love you so much! Let's go for a trip after I come back here to Malaysia, ok?

The photo above is the picture when the light's on. The lamp exudes yellow light, radiating warmth that kindle up the room. It light up my day. I will make it.... really, believe me... I will become a better individual after the trip. See you guys!!!

BIG hugs and THANK you, for yours kindness and support!!

Angel's Presents

Mother woke me up from sleep early this morning, before heading to work. I was having a sweet dream as the weather this morning is cold and humid. She patted my shoulder and said, " AN angel asked me to pass you these gifts on your birthday morning, see it later ya..."

Then, She left me with the angel's gifts and left the house. I was really sleepy and couldn't really response to her. Until a moment ago, when I woke up from my sleep, feeling refreshing and suddenly spotted the small present and a red packet besides my pillow.

I opened both of them and realised that they are Lexcron card reader, 8 GB memory card and a certain amount of US dollars... That's the utmost expensive present, which I have ever received in my entire 22 years of life. I am not merely talking about the price; it's actualy the heart...

How can you be so thoughtful, my angel?

I want to tell you that I love you so much and I don't need those expensive fancy stuff, you are the best present I have in life.

"Du bist ein engel, ich liebe dich echt..."

Thank you. We will see each other very soon after one year. Thank you and send you thousands kisses... MUAKS...

Biography of PreCious

My two hamsters, which are named 'PreCious'. They have their two names in one as in

Chinese language, 'Precious'=宝贝. So, one of my them is '宝宝'，whereas another was named as '贝贝'. I know, I know. It's lame. But, they are truly my precious babies.

In fact, the two little furry balls were born someday in September last year. They were my little present from Protocol for my brithday last year. Protocal brought me these two little girls, all the way from her ex-roomate's friend's friend's house in KL to Genting Highland for me as I was having a holiday there after my semester examination. What I was trying to say was, Don't play play...These two little balls had been on cable car before. They travelled all the way, crossed the moutains and survived through the freezing cold weather just to reach their lovely owner, ME! hehe. I bet they never regret about it, right? my chubby babies.

Well, they have been mine for one year. I guess they have something to share with you guys. Theirs experience with thier greatest mummy. :P Let's see what's they have said.

We are BaoBao and BeiBei. I am Baobao, the one who's at the right in the photo and BeiBei was the greedy hamster that fighted for candy with me at the left. We love to eat anyting's sweet and our owner loves feeding us candy. But, we always have to fight with one another and bite as much as possible because our mummy never allow us to eat too much of that.

BaoBao here! I am not some hamsters, that you can trifle with. I bite! Don't catch my photo, I don't like it right now. Keep the machine or else I will attack!






I am BeiBei. Sometimes, instead of running the wheel, I prefer to pee in it. I love doing that but my mummy hates that. She would pinch me whenever I do that. OPPPsss.. My mum's coming. Don't take my photo! It's evidence...

Besides playing, sleeping and eating, both of us got nothing much to do. So, I invented one game. It's called hamster's hide and seek. I will squeeze my body between the bar and the wheel. Mummy can't get me sometimes and would get frustrated! That's fun!

That day, I was placed on mummy's brother bed. They were playing PS2 and ignored my existance. I was so sad so I hid myself inside of the ringfile on the bed. I was waiting for my mummy to get anxious and realised about my missing!




See, when I feel like going out for a walk, I will allow you to hold me in your palm. Don't ever try that without my permission! I am BaoBao and I bite!

I want my mummy's hugs... Where are you?

BeiBei is really a nuisance! She loves pestering me whenever I am thirsty and having a drink. I will tell Mummy about it. Don't ever do that again.








What do you want from us? We have no more sunflower seeds. And those sweetcorns and carrocts all fnish eaten by BeiBei. I am straving! I want some cake and pudding! Mummy!

This is the punishment for eating up my food. Luckily I kept some in my pockets! Anyway, still, I gotta teach you a lesson! Don't snatch my food!




Hey, isn't it nice? No fighting, no biting, no snatching. We are gentle and polite girls with manners. You eat your seed and I have my corn. :p I love you and you love me. Mummy's eating ice-cream, we gotta behave and act cute so that we could have a spoonful of it!





We are in Mummy's palm. We are not going to bite. We love our Mummy and we licked her skin sometimes. Our Mummy is the best! Mom, When can we get our cheesecake after saying all those good things about you?

I am not sure if I will still be able to hold them, kiss them, smell them, feel them and take care of them after my one year stay in the foreign land. Just, want to write something about my two lovely girls. I have you two in my heart, n omatter how. My mother will take care of you two ehn I am away, Ya, Granny. hehe. Be obedient.

If Mummy can never see you two again, I will see yours photoes everyday, ya, everyday, in my heart, in my book and in my mind... stay healthy and safe. It's a promise, ok? MUAKS

Wenzi

Sometimes, we just don’t aware that there is indeed someone around us, who would lend us her warm and sincere hands when we are in a bed of thorns.

There’s a saying goes, ‘A friend in need is a friend indeed’. In fact, there is a greater meaning behind the idiom. I can’t describe it in words. You have to feel it, experience it, in order to have a better understanding.

I rang Wenzi that day, all of a sudden to seek for her help. (* Wenzi was the sweetest girl in my class when I was in UTAR. She has dimples and a pair of big deep eyes that exude subtle charm when you look into them. hehe. There's a proof in the photo on left. I guess my huge and distorted pig face had spolit the beauty of the photo. But, please, look at the tiny face behind me, she's truly a beauty, isn't she?)

Me: “Hey, I am very sorry for disturbing you but I really need your help this time!”

Wenzi: “Oh, Chia. I’m so happy to receive your call. How’s your life? Is there anything I can do for you?”

Me: “I have an appointment with the US embassy for my Visa interview next Tuesday. The time’s pack and I couldn’t get myself a room to stay for two days right now…."(I haven't finish my sentence but she cut into my words by saying->)

Wenzi: “Then come and stay with me. Just tell me when are you going to arrive and I can meet you somewhere. No problem and no big deal.”

Me: …. “Thank you. You saved my life.”

Wenzi: Hehe. No that serious.

That was a very brief conversation we had over the phone. She talked to me with her usual cheerful tone and I could feel her sincere and welcoming heart even through the devices.

I slept with her for two days and she even gave me her house keys so that I wouldn’t have to horse around the KL area early in the morning after my visa appointment. Her action actually caused her troubles but she seemed to care nothing about it.

She didn’t really serve me as a guest as we are friends and have known each other for years. She gave me her full trust and had dinners with me for the two days. In fact, she was busy owing to her newfound dream job. Her daily schedule is tight but she spared her time to dine with me and chatted with me throughout the nights.

At the night before I went back for home, we chatted for hours while laying ourselves down on her comfy bed. We were worn off due to our tiring activities in day but still continued talking and talking. We talked about our days in UTAR, our old friends, our future…Well, just everything and anything.

At last, when I started to get goofy due to the tiredness, she pushed me a little bit on my right arm and said, “you wanna sleep? Hey, let’s talk some more, you are leaving very soon and this is our last night to talk like this. Don’t sleep. Talk."

That’s sweet, isn’t it? :-) I remember I gave out a wink, a very sweet wink for her in the dark and then tried my best to chat with her, until both of us fell into a state of unconsciousness. : P

Wenzi, thank you and thank you. I don’t know what to say here. Thanks for your forgiveness and consideration toward my ‘无事不登三堡殿’. Thanks for everything. How about this? After I complete my fulfilling year (Let’s pray so!) in the state, I will buy you a big present.

Muaks. <3 It’s really nice to have you as friend. You are charming, 'inside and outside' :P. All the best and I will miss you dearly. That's a promise.

Childlike Enjoyment

(photo taken from http://www.bigphoto.com)

I am the youngest daughter in my family and am the apple in my parents’ eyes ever since I was a kid. My parents’ love was like the sun that shone, throughout my journey of life. I used to be a joyful girl and enjoyed companionship from my little playmates and my elder brother in my childhood.

However, when I started to accept formal education in school, my mind was preoccupied by the ‘vision’ like getting the highest mark in class and my daily duties were attending tuition classes and made revisions or did additional exercises at home. Since I enrolled in elementary school, I lost all the childlike enjoyment. I couldn’t have games with my friends or explored the little garden in front of my house during my leisure time anymore. I had to study and made sure I scored 100% in every subject. The stress tripled as the years rolling on. I tried to live up to the expectation of my parents. The childish laughter, which was supposed to be mine, lost its track. I forgot the way a child should be. My lost childhood was stored somewhere else and I couldn’t retrieve it.

After my graduation, due to my further plan in life, I took up the job of a tutor in one leading tuition centre in my hometown for two months. (Ya, I have just resigned last month: P). I was in-charged of primary students, who are 9 and 12. I couldn’t bring up myself to love the job as the workload was incredibly heavy and those standard six kids were truly a bunch of rebellion-spoilt brats! It will never be a great experience to work with adolescents, who couldn’t even fathom the meaning of ‘respect’. Though, later on, I realised that it’s always better to treat them as your friends rather than giving out orders like a commander. Well, adolescence is a painful phase, I understand. Anyway, if I were given a chance to choose, I prefer to work with younger kids. :P hehe.

Like what I have mentioned above, I was in-charged of several 9-years-old students, too. I had a great time with them, they enriched my life and I gained a lot of inspiration from these lovely kids. I was lucky as out of my ten standard three students, five of them are diligent and obedient. Two of them are a bit slower in learning but they are well mannered and I enjoyed teaching them. Another two of them are talkative and playful but they are clever and would show me respect when I ordered them to so something. Er… the last one, JJ, was truly a hard nut to crack. Every tutor there would feel a pain on her neck when JJ is put into her class.

JJ attended my afternoon class. After having him in class for once, I could fully understand the reason for teachers to hate him. I myself hated him a lot at first and wished that he would never appear in my class. He likes making wave in class and enjoys becoming the clown of the class.

The things he did to make my blood boiled:

@He would never complete the extra exercises I gave.
@He would never concentrate in learning his spelling or dictation.
@He took three hours to finish his homework, which were actually three pages of vocabulary writing.
@His handwriting was like sh*t, which made me felt like shredding his exercise books.
@He is a REALLY fat boy and he smelt like a skunk due to his vest damp with sweat.
@He would talk back to you like nobody and complained for the corrections you asked him to make.
@He would talk and joke with pupils around him for hours, treating your scolds as nothing.
@He would run around the class and borrowed eraser, pencil, colour pencils, sharpener, textbooks, and some other tiny little things with his friends as if he came to class with empty hands.
@When he was punished, he would never learn a lesson and straight away making funny faces to make everyone laugh.
@He held the class’s dustbin in embrace for hours, refusing to let others using it.
@He loved mocking his friends and caused a lot of conflicts in class.
@He brought a tin of potato chips and spread them all over the table before eating them.
@He brought his frozen mineral water and continuously disturbed my class by squeezing the bottle.
@When you called out his name in front, he would never answer you.
@When he was forced to do some exercises, he would simply do then until he gained a ‘0’ mark.
@He seldom passes his subjects in school.
@He couldn’t walk properly and prefer to jump or crawl on the floor, which sometimes gave me a feeling that Malaysia was facing some kind of natural disaster like ‘earthquake’.

As a devoted and loving teacher, I tried to advise and talk to him nicely at first but all my kindness was in vain. As a normal human being, I know that kid-glove methods haven’t work; it’s time to get tough. So, I punished him, yelled at him and scolded him intently like a termagant until I got sore throat and couldn’t speak. Then, I chose to give up. My strategy was separating him from the rest of the students, leaving him making noises alone behind the corner of the class. Meanwhile, deep inside my heart I prayed for him to transfer from my class.

Things went on this way until that magical Saturday. I was having additional class with my students and JJ was definitely one of them. As usual, he was playing and chatting with himself behind the class while I was teaching in front. Suddenly, a girl in class fell of the plastic chair, as it wasn’t in good shape. All of the other students laughed at her. Surprisingly, JJ ran to the other corner and took her a new chair. I was puzzled for this chubby kid’s kind heart. Since then, I told myself that I have to judge him from another angle. He has his unique points that should be praised!

The next day, he continued showing his mischievousness in class, interrupting others. But, he completed his homework and spelling learning in time. I checked on his little *report book. (* Tutors in that tuition centre are required to report on the students’ attitude in class everyday. Those who done well would be given credits like 20, 30 or 50 in order for them to change some cute souvenirs. Their parents have to sign under the report in a daily basis, too.) I realised that he never received any credits before. The worst of all, none of those comments was good.

I gave him 50 credits that day besides praising his speed in doing homework and the concentration he gave in class. The next day, JJ underwent a total transformation. He completed his homework in great speed and did all extra exercises without grumbling. Besides, he was quiet and would seek help from some friends when he had problems in exercises. He talked to me in a very good manner and grabbed every minute to learn spelling and had revisions. He even skipped his 15 minutes recess time in order to do more revisions. He turned into a model student and I was scared of his demonic learning spirit! It came too fast and out of everyone’s expectation!

He wasn’t having fever. He was just encouraged by me, to become a better kid. Yes, we have to praise our kids, in whatever way he deserves. Never stereotype him or her into any kind of category, our generalization can destroy theirs future.

Try to judge things from a different perspective. Every young soul has its tendency to become successful and kids are playful, it's in their blood. You and I was the same, too! They just need a person to guide, lead and nurture them with an appropriate method.

I have resigned, and I am not sure if JJ still remains his diligence. In fact, I am worry about him and I wish that he could have a better teacher to accompany him, in his voyage of learning to be himself, to be a responsible student. I pray for him…

Blue Sky

What's the colour of your sky?

Lazing at home, doing nothing. I looked up the sky this morning outside from my house and was pretty amazed by the beauty of mother nature. Nope, I wasn't the one who took the photograph beside. Actually I got it from http://www.bigphoto.com. I didn't manage to snap the picture myself so I display one, which I think is similar to what I have seen.

Sometimes, take a rest from your hectic lifestyle and admire the landscape or scenery around you. You might have a different kind of experience. Who knows? You might be able to gain some inspirations. :-P

Ever heard of the frog's story? Once upon a time, there was one frog, which stayed under a deep well. He thought that the size of the sky was the same as the opening of the well as he had never been outside of the well before. A bird passed by the well and had a chat with the frog. She shared her experience in flying around the wide blue sky but the frog just refused to believe. For him, the sky is as wide as the well's opening, because 'seeing is believing'. That's what he had been seeing in his life. The bird mocked at him and flew away.

Yes, seeing is believing. Though, it will be greater if we can make a move to explore. Life's short and years roll on. Do whatever you can to live up your life to the fullest.

So, back to my question, what's the colour of your sky?

I have no clue of what's your answer going be like. But, I admire the endless, deep, and unpredictable sky. I could see the soft grey of the dawn, which had lightened. The sky was the wet pale blue of a water colour sky just painted and not yet dried.

That's the utmost stunning image that I will store in my mind. However, I am not sure if that's the colour of my sky as I am always the little one, who hides at a corner to show my admiration toward the titanic product of nature.

It doesn't belong to me anyway. I hope someday I can own a quarter, as a place to keep my footprints.

Testing! Testing!

Finally, I got myself a digital camera last week, after years of 'thinking' and 'yearning' in getting one. It's Canon Powershot A530. Ya, I know it's a cheap stuff nowadays... But, due to my budget consideration, it's actually a perfect camera to me. Besides, I am not a professional photographer anyway and I am retarded in using those high-tech items.. :p So, it's a great choice, I shall say.

Since nobody is here to take pictures for me, I took some on my own (that's what girls love to do the most during their leisure time. *blek*) to try this camera out by using some different functions. Hey, the camera is great :P hehe.. Okok... It CAN be great. I know the photoes look stupid... Forgive me mah.. not skillful enough.

Believe me,it's cheap but it's a good camera. I will learn to utilize its functions and then I am sure I would be able to produce some great photoes with good camera angles.. :-)

I love my camera!! Tash, Come and take some photoes together!! ^0^

Lampfly

She rang me this afternoon. It's really nice to hear her voice again as we didn't have chance to talk much during that messy convocation.

Her voice was like a sweet melody and it's still lingering my mind, even at this moment. I never expected her to make the call but she said that since I am leaving very soon, she should talk to me on the phone for a moment. I was over the moon. :) That means she cares. :P

Actually, we only chatted for about 5minutes, but, that's enough for me to feel the wramth of friendship. While we were talking, my mind raced in search for the memories we have in college, university and the Redang Trip. Years roll on, it's a cliche, but it's a fact...

Our frienship started to hail when I was in KTAR. She wasn't the first person whom I approached but she used to make me feel warm by asking me for lunches together in school. Besides, she's truly diligent and was the only girl who would attend all lectures and took down all notes.

She gave me a very special first impression as she's not that type of typical shallow girls, who only care about outward appearance. She keeps her hair short and prefer wearing jeans, short pants and T-shirts to skirts or any other girly dressing code. She's always smart and tidy. By the way, I find her resembles one of the singers in the Chinese pop girls' band- SHE. I told her about it and she laughed like crazy.

Talking about her, I shall say that our friendship is unique. We have been knowing each other for more than 4 years. Though, we have never go for a movie, dinner or shopping. We accompanied each other closely only inside the classrooms. That's kinda weird, maybe in a sense, we are not really that close to each other.

My friends claimed that I am a very 'cold' person, who could hardly get close with another human. That's not a truth, I love having 'crazy moments' with my friends and I can be really playful. She's having the same kind of personality, that's the only thing that make us a good pair of pals as we share quite a lot of things in common.

We swore to each other that we will never leave another party apart in all group assignments. Looking back at the passing years, all those hardship we encountered together in assignments and exam revision have turned into a kind of sweetness, which I shall be willing to taste it all over again, if I were given a chance. The times we had in Machintosh Lab, library, lecturer halls, tutorial classes...all are unforgettable. Just like the song goes,

"Unforgettable, that's what you are...

"Unforgettable, though near or far..."

I remember the night we saw the stars along the beach. I remember the day I walked to your hostel to ask for help in my revisions and final year project. I remember you fetched me back home after doing assignments by your Honda. I remember we shopped in the 'pasar malam'. I remember the joy we had when we met each other in the ceremony. I remember we sat in the first roll, facing the lecturers until their saliva fell on our cheeks sometimes ...I have too many to remember, so I carved them in my heart...

I still have that kind of picture in my mind- A short-haired girl in her blue jeans jacket, wearing a cap on top and carrying a light yellow bag, waiting for me outside the classroom to walk back to the stupid KTAR hostel together. When I asked her, "Won't you feel hot? Why don't you use your umbrella?"

She winked at me and replied," I am lazy to hold umbrella so I am wearing my blue jacket and cap..."

That's the prettiest smile I have ever seen. Stay in touch, Lampfly.

Mortar-board

I remember, 4 years ago, one day, when I was walking back to the hostel with Lampfly, we witnessed one convocation in the hall of KTAR. I hated study in KL as I was forced to be away from home so I asked her when are we going to graduate? She couldn't conceal her envy of those graduates at their success, I saw it from her eyes.

She replied, "I don't know..."

We were longing to complete our study as soon as possible and then leave the hateful city, forever.

I remember, when I was walking to the school with my pal, Chloe, I used to ask her, " When can I wear the Mortar-board? I hate studying here and yearn for a graduation..."

She answered, " Very fast. Time flies...within the twinkling of an eye, you will get your chance to wear that hat and, you are going to miss the schooling days..."

I doubted her words and prayed hard for the days to arrive...

Finally, on 19th August 2006 (Saturday), I had my convocation inside the MCA building. My parents witnessed me receiving my degree from the guest of honour. At the moment, I felt that I have really grown up and got to decide something very important for my future. And, my parents are proud of me and I must have some kind of achievement, continously for them to proud of...It's not merely about the Mortar-board, even though I loved it a lot! :P

Basically, the ceremony wasn't a good one as the space is really small, whereas there were too many attendants. Due to some errands and our ignorance, Protocol and I arrived late. We were in a hurry to wear our gowns and I was really a fool for leaving my coat with my parents. After minutes of torturing in waiting, I got my coat but I left my 'smart card' in my hand bag, and I had passed it to my boyfriend when I got the coat from him!!! So, a lot of things happened afterward. I got to redo the card, borrowed money from person I didn't know at all and then rushed up and down stairs to settle my things.

Luckily, I got my own seat after that and walked up the stage confidently.

Sadly, after the ceremony, the place was in a mess. It was crowded with people. Owing to some unexpected external factor, which was really unpleasant, I had to give up the chance of taking precious photoes with my friends. I was only able to catch some with several people, whom were near to me that time.

:-( That's really upsetting. I couldn't take photo with Protocol, Lampfly, Tasha, Chauyen, Laiyee, Chunyet, Khaisin, Fayes, Chloe, Wenzi, Leng, Kitfye and many more beloved friends...I missed the chance forever...Grrrrrr....

Please, if anyone of you happen to read my post, kindly send me at least one photo of yourself with Mortar-board on top. You guys are my friends and I want to keep it as ours last souveneirs. Please....

Though, I was able to snap this lovely picture with Kenjo. My cute friend, who resembles Japanense girl and who is really good in writing. :-) Thanks Kenjo. I love this picture!

Friends in JR1. Happy convocation. Strive hard for your future.

You guys have places in my heart. That's an unbreakable fact!

Love you all!