Farewell

I burried corns, spinach and some of my piggy's favourite food under the tree. Not to be supertitious, but I just want to give him something, for the very last time...

This is a month of mourning. I am not going to upload anything in this July. Not a good month, I think...

Farewell, Piggy.

You will be in my heart.

Thank you.

This afternoon, when the time is reaching 4pm, I suddenly felt fitful and uncomfortable. I checked on the students’ homework with growing unease, talking and teaching them with my greatest impatience. I may not be a loving and devoted teacher but I never had that kind of feeling before. My psyche was messy. I felt like I was getting sick or going to kill somebody. Yes, without rhythm or reason. Maybe it’s a kind of ominous omen.

A moment ago, when my dad was driving me home. He told me a bad news. My Piggy had passed away. My parents found him died after coming back from work. It was about 4.30pm.

I knew this would happen. I actually prayed for it to happen yesterday night, with my tearful eyes and smashing heart. Thank you, Piggy. I know that you heard my prayer and answered to it. Thanks for fulfilling my very last request. My good boy, you are such a wonderful guinea pig, you don’t want to torture your mama that way, too, right? Clever boy. I am glad that you have escaped from the sufferings and illness, really, even though I hate you leaving me…

My parents buried my piggy under the fruit tree in front of my house. I wanted to do the job, I want to touch him and send him off, for the last time. Sadly, my parents curried him underground while I was working. They refused to wait, or they were just worrying that I am going to sob like a mother who is losing his precious son. Not sure, I guess I will. I cried for the entire night yesterday. My colleagues were concerning about my swollen eyes. They were wondering if I wasn’t feeling well. Yes, I was and I am. He had been with me for six years, that’s really a long time for a rodent and a human. I might neglected him sometimes but I truly enjoy the time I cut his fingernails, bathed him, talked to him and mocking at him for his silliness.

The touch and glances at 12pm, before leaving for work, today were the last few contacts I had with Piggy…I saw him laying lifelessly in the cage, with his paralysed body. His back legs crossed with each other in a weird and funny way, as they weren’t functioning anymore. He was tired, I could see it.

Nope, I am going to erase those awful pictures. I will store the fat and furry Piggy in my soul. To me, you are always the cutest one.

I felt that my heart is empty right now. Somebody dug a big hole on it. But I am really happy. Piggy, thanks for doing me such a wonderful favour. I love you. Remember, my boy, if you are going through a reincarnation, never become an animal again. If you were to be a pet again, I would only allow you to be mine. Please…

Rest in peace, my Piggy. I love you…now and forever.

Thanks for everything… MUAKS.

Piggy. I am sorry.

His fur are formed by three colours: White, brown and black. The utmost significant part is his left eye. A ‘dark circle’ surrounds it. This is the uniqueness of him, which differentiates him from the rest of the guinea pigs and it is the reason for my dad to purchase him from the pet shop, six years ago.

His name is 'Piggy'. I named him that way because the only thing he has been good at is asking for food. He is actually a substitute for my deceased white guinea pig when I was 15. I cried so badly for losing my little guinea pig so my dad bought ‘Piggy’ for me after that. He was so skinny and tiny that time. I still remember that. He was placed in the small box and was terrified to be brought to a new place. My dad fetched me back from my tuition centre. He passed me the box and asked me to open it. ‘Piggy’ was trembling in the box, with his worried and vacant eyes. But, his dark circle cheered me up. Since then, I know that I got to take care of him well.

Basically, guinea pig is a kind of domestic pet, which is very easy to be reared. They are not demanding and would only make some noise when they are hungry. It is funny as they would recognize and remember the sounds you made before preparing the meal for them. For example, normally I would open the fridge to take out some vegetables or corns for them from the plastic bags. Next, I would wash them under the tap. These little creatures would squeak when their ears capture the sounds of water running down from tap and people dragging the plastic bags. Besides, they would stand up and lean on the cage, squeaking non-stopping whenever they hear your footsteps.

I have a lot of experience with rodents like guinea pigs and hamsters. I had too many of them. ‘Piggy’ used to have one mate, but sadly, she died after giving birth at the second time. Yes, ‘Piggy’ was a dad before. He and his mate produced 6 little ones at the previous two births, taken place four or five years ago. Those little pigs were incredibly adorable. They were naughty and did a lot of funny things to make me laugh. I did not have a lot of space and my parents didn’t allow me to keep too many of them. They actually asked me to keep those little ones and sell the parent. However, I couldn’t bring myself to do that. As such, I chose to keep the parent, ‘Piggy’. The babies were sold after two months. I made the choice because I think that the babies were so lovely, it wouldn’t be hard for them to get a new owner. Though, for those adult guinea pigs, like ‘Piggy’, it might be a problem.

It has been a long time since the day I owned Piggy. More than six years ago. It’s truly amazing. The average life span for a guinea pig is about 3 to 4 years and many of my friends’ guinea pigs only lasted for few months. Anyway, mine is able to survive for more than six years, until today. But, he is really old and in a very bad condition.

There were tumours growing on his back. There is nothing I can do to help. The tumours started to grow since three years ago. But, his health has never really been affected at the passing years. He slept well, ate well and grew into a huge and plump furry ball. Out of the blue, Piggy became skinny months ago but he still ate well. I had that kind of feeling that his time is near. I understand that, as he is really old. I have been telling myself that I got to prepare for that.

This afternoon, my brother’s girlfriend discovered that his two back legs were stuck at the bars of the cage and couldn’t move. After she told me, only I realised about it. No wonder, he has been remaining in the same position for the whole day and he didn’t take the carrot I gave him. But, I only realised about it in the afternoon! Gosh! What kind of owner? I tried to pull his legs out, it’s hard and I got to do it in a harsh way. His legs were out but they were scalped and the wounds get swollen and bleed. My heart broke. The saddest thing was, I realised that both of his back legs couldn’t function anymore. I don’t know why. I don’t know how he got his legs in between the bars. This is an incident that has never taken place before. I still couldn’t figure out the reason of his handicap. A moment ago, I went and checked him through, I realised that the tumours that are growing on his back seem to be the factor for him to lost the ability to walk.

I gave him some vegetables to eat but he didn’t really take much. When he saw me approached, he tried to squeak but he couldn’t move forward again. He used his front legs to crawl and dragged his body along so that he could move the front and reached me… I heard the sounds of smashing. It came from my heart. My Piggy is not able to climb up and greet me anymore. Actually, he couldn’t do that since months ago. He couldn’t response to my call or caress, he couldn’t even eat much. He lied there quietly and I wish that he couldn’t just sleep and never wake up again… I don’t want him to suffer…never ever.

I am the one to be blamed. I didn’t even realised that his legs were stuck. What my brother said is correct. I neglected him after getting the new pair of hamsters. My Piggy must be feeling lonely for these years. I didn’t really talk to him that much after getting the hamsters… I neglected him… my Piggy. Everything is too late right now… there is nothing I can do. I am thinking of putting him to sleep. Saving him from the sufferings, but, I know I would never able to do that, how could I end your life that way?

My Piggy, I love you. I am sorry for everything, Please forgive your stupid and barbaric owner. You are an important companion in my life. What we had, I always remember…I am sorry… I am sorry…

Piggy, please… close your eyes quietly… I don’t want you to suffer anymore… rest well…. That’s my last request…