The Hardest Thing

The hardest thing in this world is to communicate with another mankind.

Don't you think so?

Here, I am not talking about those amiabilities or random conversations with those, whom we barely know. I am refering to those who are close to you, like your friends, your family members, your greatest pals... I used to hate people who are hypocritical, I detest the way they interact with others, I was sicked of their fake kindness and smiles...However, if you really consider it from another aspect, isn't it a better way to maintain a general type of relationship with others? Sometimes, keeping a distance is the panecea for every relationships problems...

When you really care about a particular person, you tend to take him or her words seriously, the problem here is that the particular mankind would dissapoint you in someway. This is not a kind of generalization. The chances are there, nobody can run away from it.

Meanwhile, if you really care about a person, deep inside your heart, his or her simple gestures, responses, attitude can mean a lot to you. That's owing to my own experience, maybe it is due to my sensitivity, but I really take things very seriously, only if the particular person I am interacting with is special to me. That's why, I could even get hurt through those non-verbal communication. Nonetheless, I will never show it! No worries for that. I won't do something that will spolit my image. :P

One of my pals once noted that,

"You always treat others nicely. Sometimes far beyond the way it should be. It is not really good because others would turn to rely on you for everything and they wouldn't cherish it! Ya, take things for granted! And, the utmost stupid thing is that you never expect anything from your friends when you are deep down in troubles..."

"In the contrast, you bear high-expectation for your own performances in almost every aspects! Come on, I know that you are truly a perfectionist and individualist, but not everything in life can be perfect... Don't care about others and don't take things too seriously. Sometimes, you have to live up your life for yourself, rather than others..."

My dear pal, thanks for your advice. In the circle of relationship, be it within couple or friends, I have not much expectations...Even if it is a one-way street, I resigned my life to lot. By the way, I am not treating everyone equally good, I guess there is someone, who is really unique but I tend to screw up the relationship and keeping our hearts, further away, like falling apart in two different planets. I don't mean it...But, sometimes, I think this is due to the frames we set on each other. We tend to 'frame' each other in an intended way so once we accidentally step out from the lines, we bear grudges toward each others. There are too many times, we keep the problems in the dark, pretending that there isn't anything 'serious'. This leads to the growing of thorns, which prick my heart, sometimes...

My dear pal, things are easier to be said than done. My life doesn't belong to me. It is not mine. I owe my mother damn a lot of 'debts', which I could never ever return in my entire life... perhaps, I will be freed, after getting this degree. I would strive something for myself, pursue my very own dream...

Yeah.. as free as a bee or bird? Well, whatever!

No matter how, life is still going on. Let's cheers for tomorrow.

Valentine's Wishes...

Kisses

Kisses has been called—

The Balm of Love…
Two lips meet, you’re in heaven above
They’re Cupid’s Seal…
As lovers make a deal
The Feet of Parting…
A payment in full of loving
The Homage of The Lips…
For lovers who never weeps
Lover’s Chief Sign…
Between you and me
Love’s Language…
That leads to marriage
The Seal of Bliss…
Which we will always cherish…

(Written by: Unknown)

Yeah! Another poem from ‘Poetry Page’, my aunt didn’t jot down the author’s name so I couldn’t attribute the source. I am sure that he or she is a Malaysian. Hey, unknown, ‘lend’ me your verse for a while, ya. I want to dedicate it to my friends and those whom I barely know but still spare their time to have a look at my blog whenever they are free!

Guys and gals, Happy Valentine’s Day!

May you all have an astonishing merriment and gain tonnes of sweet kisses from your beloved ones! :p

EnJoY!!!

Two Timer

How Can I Tell Her
(Lobo)

She knows when I'm lonesome, she cries when I'm sad.
She's up in the good times, she's down in the bad.
And whenever I'm discouraged, she knows just what to do.
But girl, she doesn't know about you.

I can tell her troubles, she makes them all seem right.
I can make up excuses, not to hold her at night.
We can talk of tomorrow, I'll tell her things I want to do.
But girl, how can I tell her about you?

How can I tell her about you?Girl, please tell me what to do.
Everything seems right, whenever I'm with you.
So girl, won't you tell me, how to tell her about you.

How can I tell her I don't miss her, whenever I'm away?
How can I say it's you I think of, every single night and day?
And when is it easy, telling someone we're through?
Ah girl, help me tell her about you.

How can I tell her about you?Girl, please tell me what to do.
Everything seems right, whenever I'm with you.
So girl, won't you tell me, how to tell her about you...

At the very first time I listened to this song, I was touched, deeply touched...

I couldn't help but enchanted by the lyrics. Those simple words, conveying too much about the inner conflict a person would bear after falling in love with someone else besides him or her lover. Maybe I am the only one who would feel it this way but I really couldn't brace up myself to hate the guy in the lyrics. Lobo reveals the sorrow and agony of being a two timer...

This reminds me of my previous conversation with Chloe...It was just a random chat session but Chloe told me that actually we couldn't hold our fingers at the third party or the two timers whenever a particular realtionship goes wrong.

She noted that," Let's forget about those who love foolling around or enjoy changing their partners after knowing a more attractive one. We are now talking about a guy or a woman who truly commited in a serious realtionship with his or her lover. At the moments they love you, they really do. However, if the couples are not fated to be together, definitely they would meet soemone else. There's is no right and wrong in love... If the emotion of love is gone, that's the end of a relationship... It is really unwise to point our fingers at the other party. As a matter of fact, he or she is actually the one who suffers the most due to gulit and regrets..."

Frankly speaking, I was really surprised when I heard her sentences. It is actually something we got to ponder, isn't it? The statement above may not sound convincing to certain people who are not that open-minded enough, but you can never deny certain facts and truths hidden inside. Just try to consider it from a wider perspective...

You will gain something from Lobo's 'How can I tell her'... espcially when you listen to it... The sweetness of the voice and the 'grief' of the melody certainly would touch your nerve, with the condition that you are not an extremist in love...

cheers.

:*>

The Poem

I’m thinking…

I’m thinking of you right now…
Wondering when and why and how.
The wind will bring the rain
The sun will harvest the rice grain
And fate will bring us back again.

I’m thinking of you as one person
Who makes my heart so painful
My life so lonesome…
By solely passing words of love, joy and hope
But never meaning them
Thus bringing to my heart
Only hate, agony and despair…

I’m thinking of moments you touched my lips
Those moments…I cried myself to sleep.
Why must you be so out of hand?
I’m thinking and thinking…
Will this doubt of mine come to an end?
Will the hope of seeing you again
Lost forever like the innumerable sand?

(Writer: Florence Ng)

Obviously, I am not the writer of the above poem. Come on, I am not a very poetic person, even though I do enjoy reading some of them. :P By the way, don’t ask me who is that Florence girl (maybe not that appropriate to address her as a ‘girl’ right now: p). I don’t know her at all. In fact, the poem is one of my aunt’s collections when she was in her teenage years!

Yes, it is a kind of ‘historical’ verse as my aunt cut them from newspapers or magazines and pasted them in a thick book when she was in her 16 or 17. Yes, it all took place in 1970’s; while she was in her youthful golden age…The old book is decorated with beautiful pictures and a teenage girl’s naïve but romantic remarks… How times flies… she is approaching her 45 years old at the coming year. The pages in the book have turned into yellow colour papers; they are not excluded from the process of aging and growing, too. Though, when my aunt passed me her precious book which entitled ‘Poetry Page’ since she knew that I love verse-reading about eight years ago, I realised that she actually handed her priceless reminiscences to me. Perhaps, I was a teenager, seeing me growing reminding her of her young and insouciance moments…

I am sure that everyone has gone through an enormous transformation both mentally and physically during their teenage years. Many people regard adolescence as a difficult painful phase. This can be proven through the movie I watched two days ago, ‘Mean Creek’ ( it’s an independent movie, I guess that very few people on this earth would spare their time and money to watch this category of film :*# ) The story centred at six teenagers who are rebellion, and in anger due to their uncertainties at that moment in life. As for me, adolescence is kinda interesting even though I appeared as a misanthrope mankind. The craziest idea I had when I was 14 was to shave my hair entirely! I don’t know why but I just wanted to do it so my best pal and I went to a barber, making the decision to shave our hair together. Sadly, my friend suddenly pulled back her promise in the process of waiting for our turns. I was angry but I realised that I couldn’t be the only bald head in my school so I backed off, too. At last, we cut our hair short, leaving only two to three inches of them on our scalps. We got to gel and style them everyday, making sure that every single hair stood up ‘neatly’ and ‘coolly’ on our head! :P

In fact, the poem above focuses at the turmoil of being betrayed or dumped by a lover. It is not really unique but I really feel that it suits the thinking and feeling of a teenager. Which girl doesn’t dream in their teens? All of us were longing for a prince charming and indulging in the illusion of being loved and being abandoned at the same time, every minute, every hour and everyday. That’s why; poem like ‘I’m Thinking’ could touch our hearts easily. It was extremely appealing to a sensitive emotion and fragile heart of a teenage girl. The story of ‘Romeo and Juliet’, ‘Cinderella’ and other idiotic ever after stories could ‘kill’ us easily, when we were so young and innocent. That’s the reason for Chloe to had a serious crush on Leonardo Dicaprio after watching ‘Titanic’ in year 1998. :*$ frankly speaking, I was even worse. I carried ‘torches’ upon all sorts of boy bands like: ‘BSB’, ‘Human Nature’, ‘Boyzone’, ‘Take That’, ‘N’sync’, ‘Five’, ‘Handson’, ‘O’ Town’, ‘911’, ‘MLTR’, ‘Moffats’ and many more. The list would go on and on because I would ‘fall in love’ very easily after watching somebody appear as my ‘dream guy’ on screen. (Hey, don’t laugh at me; I know you had that type of stupid action before, too! Yeah!) I would even shed down tears after listening to some songs, which seemed to be too ‘touching’ and ‘true’ to me.( I guess I was totally and completely hopeless! :P)

After all, whenever you recapture the passing years; you would be surprised at how much you have grown. Some sorts of dreams must be buried in your memory as they only belong to the particular period of time. Keep them at a secret corner of your mind, and unlock them once in blue moon. The remembrances would come sudden and swirled, each coloured with its own season…that will be a time, for you to look back your golden years in your life and think of them from a distance as a whole…

That’s the reason for my aunt to keep those poems, which remains as an awesome key to youthful age. She gave me her dreams, I learned to dream, until I realised that a dream is a relic of my chimera, which you could only capture in a fog.